My wife recently posed the question.... Would you rather your kids be obedient or inspired? I was surprised to find that many of the homeschooling families that we are close with would prefer obedience over inspiration. Any thoughts?
We don't value obedience here. Well-behaved, certainly. Respectful is real nice. But obedience isn't really a word we use much. So, I'm voting for "inspired", though I admit, that's not a word we use around here much either. But I like the sound of it a lot better than "obedience". And my ultimate goal for my children as they become adults would certainly be closer to "inspired" than to have an adult child who had learned blind obedience and to never question the status quo. We have raised ours to constantly be questioning the status quo.
We value obedience, but not blind obedience. Inspired can mean anything or nothing, so it's not a term I would use.
I'd have to go with 50/50. Speaking metaphorically, an inspired child would ignore my plea to stop, chase a butterfly into the road, and get hit by a truck. An obedient child would listen and stop, not ever chasing the butterfly. The inspired/obedient child would listen and stop, wait for the truck to pass, and then continue after the butterfly. A child can explore an inspired life the fullest while being obedient to parents than may have much more experience and wisdom to keep them safe and help avoid some pitfalls, provided the parents aren't requiring too much obedience.
We just had a discussion about obedience in my Saturday morning Bible study this week- Then he (Jesus) went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them..."Luke 2:51 Jesus set the example of children being obedient to their parents and we should expect it of our children. I agree with Jackie, though, it's not blind obedience. Children should also be taught to make wise decisions. I expect my children to be obedient and do what I or DH ask of them because we are their parents and have been given authority over them and also because we love them and have their best interests in mind. For other adults, I expect my children to be respectful, but if they are being asked to do something that contradicts what God says or what their parents have said, they may have to be disobedient, without being disrespectful or having an attitude. I'm not sure how this fits in with inspired, though...
YES! lol... I would like to have both, but here inspiration tends to win out at times. We do school work according to my lesson plans with a twist. Occasionally we get inspiration to go off on a rabbit trail study. Outside of school work I expect obedience, inside I allow a bit of flux to keep the juices flowing but i do expect the work to get done timely. ( she said as she reminded her 15 yr old to go on to the next lesson...
But isn't that inspiration within the framework? What if he would tell you flat out that he quitting math, altogether because he was really inspired to read fantasies? I would guess that, while you might encourage his fantasy reading, he would still have to be obedient to do the math....
I expect complete obedience at an early age. Like independence in school work, which grows over time as a child grows up, I expect my children to obey blindly when they're little, but question me as they grow more mature - not in a disrespectful way, but in an effort to learn why I want them to do the things I want them to do (especially if they think I'm wrong, which I might be). I want them to think, but there are times when their opinion won't matter, and they'll just have to do what their boss says or get fired, ya know? That said, even from the time they were toddlers, I've told them that they should follow God first and me second. I want them to read their Bibles and learn how to follow the patterns God has left (which includes respectfully obeying parents when young, unless I'm asking them to do something which they believe God forbids).
In our family, it depended on the child. About half of them felt it very important to follow the guidelines, be obedient, and learn in a traditional way. They colored within the lines, if you will. Others were rebellious, more flamboyant, and had to put their mark on everything. They deliberately colored outside the lines. I have no preference really, because each child has become a responsible and unique adult of whom I'm proud.
This. The Bible says children are to obey their parents. I expect my children to obey me. I try not to expect too much or limit their creativity and I try to say yes when I can. For example: My children are not expected to be perfectly quiet and walk with their hands in their pockets at the grocery store. They make little boy sound effects, pretend to be ninjas, skip, jump, etc through the store. As long as they aren't too loud or running into people (meaning respectful of other shoppers) then that's okay. My kids love to play in the dirt/mud. I know many parents that NEVER let their kids do this, and honestly, it makes me so sad for those kids. The parents are more concerned with clean clothes and hands and faces than their kids exploring the world and enjoying their childhood. There is a time and place for this though. Like if playing outside before a trip to the dentist, I tell them to stay out of the dirt but just a normal afternoon, go play and get dirty! I think blind obedience is dangerous. I think we should question rules and laws. And I think there is a time to disobey them. But, due respect should be given to those in authority, as no one comes to authority without God placing them there. I teach my children to question things, encourage them to. But you can do so respectfully.
Ah, you are correct Jackie, Math would be obediently done first.. so I guess we are of the opinion that everything has a place, just first things come first then? Or There is a time and a place for everything? Fortunately My kids have pretty much done the required work joyfully up until highschool then its a bit of a struggle now and again but though ds will try to slip off of the program and sneak in a designing a character program he is easily pulled back when I tell him to get on with work.
I agree, Patty. I just don't see the two being opposing things. I want my child to be obedient. I just don't see how being inspired is being disobedient.
