Em is still in half day K at the private school, and I'm still planning to start HSing her next year. So far, everything has been a review from last year, and she really desires to learn to read. I went ahead and bought the A Beka 1st grade language/phonics/writing curriculum, and we work on it everyday whenever she feels like it. She loves it, and I feel like it's right at her level. I'm excited about it because I feel like I'm in HS practice mode and it's going great. She loves to learn, soaks up information, responds well to encouragement/praise. My younger daughter (age 3), on the other hand, has no interest in doing any lessons. I've been trying to get her to just learn the letter "A" but she is so stubborn. She always says, "I don't want to", "It's too hard", "I can't." I definitely don't feel like I'm asking too much when I ask, "Can you say 'ahh'?" Em thinks learning is fun, almost like we're playing a game. It isn't forced at all. In fact, she is usually the one asking me to do lessons with her. Luckily, Ada (my youngest) is still at an age that I don't feel she HAS to sit and learn certain things, but since she wants no part of it I'm afraid she's going to make it very frustrating when the time comes.
I wouldn't worry about it at all. My son didn't even talk until he was three. She just wants to play. An awful lot can change within 2 years, and I'll bet she'll be eager by the time she's in K....she'll want to learn to read by then too. I'd say, just try every once in awhile to teach her the letter sounds....maybe it will only be a few months and she'll be interested. If not...no biggie...right? Sounds like you are having lots of fun schooling with your older one. Enjoy it and welcome to homeschooling!
Yes, it may be too much to ask to do the "a" sound. She's 3. She is in no danger of being illiterate. This is not an indication of future learning. I am one of those (there are a few of us on here) who not only don't believe in preschool, we belief it's actually harmful! It's perfectly normal to not be interested in school at 3. My youngest is very resistant to traditional learning but is very bright and picks up all sorts of information in a very casual manner. He was 9 before reading made sense to him but it hasn't slowed him down in the least. Check out Raymond Moore's "Better Late than Early". Very good research into the way different kids learn. Be patient, Mama. She is learning so much in her day to day activities.
I totally agree with the others. Preschool learning around here is very low key and student led. They ask, I give them "school" otherwise we kinds just play, do puzzles, watch leap frog. I really wouldn't stress about it. Pushing it now can make her hate it and resent it more in the future.
Don't stress, she's 3. Let her play, she's learning LOTS when she plays! The biggest indicator of academic success is being read to, being surrounded by books, seeing parents read, etc So just take a trip to the library, let her pick out some books and read to her. Learning letters and phonics can wait. She'll eventually show interest.
I wouldn't worry about the 3 year old. If you want to do something you can buy the Leapfrog letter magnets for the fridge and just let her play with them as she is interested. You can also put on a Leapfrog DVD every once in a while. Read to her every day. In time she will be ready, but the most important thing you can do at age 3 for future academic skills is to help her develop pretend play skills. Let her spend hours playing with her doll, putting it to bed, changing a diaper, etc. Research shows that being able to engage in extended play sequences is more important for future cognitive skills than early academics.
YEP! Back off with the 3yo. Instead of doing "lessons", incorporate lessons into her play/life. Give her your shopping list, and then help her cross off the items. "I've got bananas! Can you cross off the word that starts with the B...?" And she's being your helper, NOT doing lessons! "Oh, look! I see ALDI'S! It starts with an A, same as Ada!" Just be creative!
Personalities differ so much at different ages/stages. One week my ds5 loves school and can't wait to do all his work...the next week he is "quitting" school and I can't get him away from the lego table to do his work. If I would have bet on my kid's school behavior based on their inclinations at 3, I would have lost big time. Have you ever checked out 1+1+1=1's blog? She does something called Tot School with her littles and has several posts on transitioning from open ended activities to more structured activities with her children. http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.net/2009/05/behind/ If you search in her blog search box the word transition, you can follow the transition of her son from tot school to preschool to kindergarten.
I hadn't thought about that. Thanks for the reassuring responses. She's perfectly content to go play by herself while me and Em do our thing. I just tend to overthink everything.
It might help you to know that most of us here have struggled with what is the right amount to expect from our children. It can be hard to figure out at just about any age. Another thing to think about- while schools have been around for a long time, there was a longer period of time where there were no schools and then some of the time schools were only for the privileged. Even when there were a lot of technological advances not everyone received a formal education. Many people who have contributed to great advancements have had less formal education or no formal education. Some of them would not have been thought of highly before they made their personal contribution. I say all that because many people (I did) put too much stock in the "school" way of doing things. The truth is that it doesn't always work out for the best to do things the way a school does. It is OK to change things up- the way you do things, the timetable you do them on, and the materials you use. Schools seem to emphasize early learning, the earlier the better. This may or may not be a good idea. I think it is bad. It leaves children who aren't ready with a distaste for school and can be very defeating for future learning. If they are ready you will know it. Sorry to be so long winded.
You know, I bet she is picking things up from listening to you with Em. You'd be amazed at how much they really do hear and understand I know my oldest helped his younger sister by reading to her, she thought it was great that older brother would read to her! Mind you they are only 15 months apart, but she always looked up to him. Now they sit here and read back and forth to each other! When she's ready and see's how much fum her older sister is having, she'll be ready to start "learning" and having fun too. I do agree with everyone in that she is just 3, leave her to learn from playing right now.
That's where I am at this point in the journey. I feel like I'm already going so far "against the grain" by just not having them go to school that it seems... unnatural (for lack of a better word) to not follow the school as a guideline.
That is very normal. Just think about it this way- almost all of us grew up in the public/private school setting. We are used to it. Other people "know" it is the way to do things. People get in an uproar when others challenge the school system. It is ingrained in us in a way. I have some good news and I may be a little long winded so I hope you don't mind. Following the "school" system can be a little like being in prison. Not too many people like school the way it is. For some school can be too challenging. For others it can be too boring. It can also feel meaningless for many children. There are all those crazy rules and guidelines. There are all the mandatory things to learn (or at least attempt to memorize). But all in all learning can be done in a much better way. BUT, there is a strange sense of comfort in what is known--school. A person in prison may want desperately to get out, but once they do leave may find that they are very uncomfortable with their new surroundings. We can often feel very uncomfortable with bucking the system. I have been there, done that. I still do at times. I haven't gone completely away from the system, but I have found a lot of freedom that I feel very comfortable with. However, it took a long time for me to get there. I started homeschooling my son when he was in 7th grade. For the first two or three years, it was not a pretty picture. I was desperate. I researched. I practically begged others what would cure this problem. I thought if I found the perfect curriculum, all would be fine. I thought if I found the perfect method, we would sail along smoothly. WRONG. I concluded that it isn't so much what methodology or curriculum you subscribe to that matters. It is the attitude behind the homeschooling that really makes a difference. If you do it out of the love you have for your children and NOT the fear placed in your mind from the world, you will find homeschooling much more peaceful. Another attitude to be aware of is willingness to change. Change curriculum if what you are using doesn't help your child. Change the timetable you are on. Heck why not use a strict time schedule at all? Change the time of day you homeschool if your kids learn better in the evening. Change whatever will help your child grow to be the best they can be. If you use a boxed curriculum, that is fine. Just don't be tied down to their way of doing things. You can bend textbooks/workbooks to fit your needs. They don't have to know everything in the book at the end of the year. You don't even have to cover all of it. Life may happen in the meantime. Your kids will learn an amazing amount just by being with you and observing you. It is OK to let a lot of natural learning take place, especially in the younger years. Free yourself a little at a time and you might be surprised at how that uncomfortable feeling slips away. By the way, I still do some stuff like a school- just not nearly as much. A good website to check out: http://www.homeschooloasis.com/article_chart.htm
Just last week, I noticed how much my DGS, age 7, is picking up from being in the same space and listening to the lessons/discussions of the 3 big kids (ages 13, 14, 15) in our one-room school type setting. Of course, he should be doing his own lessons at the time, but it's always more interesting to listen in on others. Every now and then he pipes up, "I know what one!" - and he's right. It's the same way with your littles. The 3yo is listening (sometimes) when you're doing stuff with the 5, and is picking up stuff you don't even realize. Let 3 be 3, and learning will be occurring! It'll show up later, when you least expect it. The 7yo's 3yo baby brother is already starting to write his name (ok, it's only 3 letters, but still...). He sees bigger brother doing it, so he's trying it too. All kids are learning at different rates, and are interested in different things. Not all kids are fascinated with dinosaurs, although some are. Not all kids are fascinated with insects and arachnids, although some are. Your 3 yo will be interested when it's TIME to be interested... and not on YOUR schedule. Cabsmom, well said. The prison analogy fits very well. Some people institutionalize more than others, and are so uncomfortable on the outside that they'll do stuff on purpose to get back on the inside.
