My 16 year old daughter is a Junior in high school and is having a very hard time in school and is dealing with psychological issues due to being abused at a young age. I did not know about the abuse until about two years ago, that is when things started to go downhill for her, when she started having flashbacks. She has missed alot of school and refuses to go back. She said she is tired of being ridiculed and cannot face another day. I called the school today and they said they just prepared a letter for me that says her absences are now illegal and they will provide a tutor only with a note from a psychologist, not a regular doctor. They say she has to be enrolled in a regular school up until the day she enters a cyber school, and I know I cannot teach her myself. She tells me she cannot go back,and she has been crying all day. I can't get a note from a psychiatrist, the other job did not come thru yet and I am only working part time minimum wage, the doctor visit would cost more than I am making a week. Is there anyone here in PA that can help me and tell me what to do? I do not know which way to turn ... Are there any cyber schools that will take students this far into the school year that actually have openings? I don't care if they are out of state, I just need to find a place where she can continue her education and feel safe so I can find a way to get her the help she needs. Thank you in advance for helping me, BeckyB
Sorry Becky, can't help you, I hope some other ladies can.. just wanted to wish you luck..keep us posted.
I don't have the answers, but I know someone who might. I'll email her and see if she can come check out thsi thread or at least let me give you her information. Have you thougth of contacting HSLDA? I think you CAN file a homeschooling affitdavit and list her as homeschooled. PA Cyberschools would probably still accept you too - and should NOT cost you any money (b/c they get funding from the state). I'm so sorry you're going thru this. I'll check back tomorrow and let you know if my friend has any information.
Here are the laws for your state, according to the HSLDA (homeschool legal defense association). You have three options. The one the principal referred to is option #3. Honestly, you will just have to google "pennsylvania umbrella school" and see what you can find. I highly recommend browsing yahoogroups and other venues (myspace maybe? cafemom, and others) for PA specific homeschoolers. I don't know the specifics of how and the requirements of withdrawing, but we generally don't take the word of the public school officials as gospel. Just because the principal told you that, doesn't make it true - find out. There is also option #2, where you pay someone to come in to your home and provide most of the education. If money is an issue, this may not be an option for you in reality... but maybe you have family who would do this sort of thing for a very nominal fee? Option #1 is what would be considered "typical" homeschooling. There is a list of subjects that must be covered, but I can guarantee you that you can find things available - even for cheap or free - that are ready made and will meet the guidelines. If your daughter is motivated enough to get most of the work done on her own, do her own learning even if you need to remind her to go do it, this may be a viable option. Don't count out the possibility of some sort of alternative public school, even a charter school. There are gals from PA on here. Surely they'll see this if not tonight then tomorrow. Hope you can find what works for your daughter and your family!
Thank you, I am building fixtures for my job so I am really worn out, have to go back tomorrow, but will check in the morning and then again tomorrow night, hopefully you will be able to point me in the right direction by Wednesday nite so I can take action on Thursday morning while I am off. She is currently flunking two classes that she asked to get out of, they refused. Hopefully she can either drop them or start over and get a good grade by working at her own pace or spending the extra time to get what she missed. When we were talking just before I posted (ok, crying together) I told her I did not know what to do, but I knew some wonderful people who would. I will be checking back tomorrow, and I appreciate all your help from the bottom of my heart. God Bless you all, BeckyB
Becky, I hope things can be worked out! I'm sure you have the right to pull her out and homeschool her yourself! I don't know the specifics either, but will pray that things wiill work out for the best for your dd! I think contacting HSLDA and telling them about your situation is a great idea. They can give you some advice on which direction to go! I am praying for you and your daughter!
You are lucky in one way. Your daughter wants to do this. She will be motivated to make it work & believe me that is a huge plus. My older girl came out at the end of grade 9 because of negative social pressure & health issues we weren't aware of till later. She pretty much self~schooled through to graduation. I know this transistional stage is stressful but it will work out. Pax.
I think that regardless of whatever else happens you need to get your daughter out now. She sounds exhausted and hurt. Even with ordinary kids who are pulled from school to homeschool there's generally a time of 'deschooling' where the kids are simply given time to rest and de-stress. It sounds likes that's something your daughter really needs. Find a way to pull her out right away and worry about how to homeschool her after. Her mental health is so much more important than any other consideration right now.
I agree. See if you can pull her out by saying you will homeschool her yourself. That way you can get her out. There are homeschooling materials and dvds that you can provide her with since you cannot directly homeschool her. In the meantime, find a cyberschool. I say take her out anyway you can NOW and then look for a cyberschool. HSLDA should be able to provide you with the proper information. Check out the website or give them a call. Make sure you know your rights so the school doesn't give you a hard time. Sounds so far like they are not the most understanding. Yet, I know they are bound by laws when it comes to absenses.
I think all the ladies here are giving you good ideas about your daughter's education. I wonder if you can contact social services and get help regarding her mental health? I don't know how it works but in your area but here you can get help through a mental health agency if social services approves. I do hope you can get her in to talk to someone about the abuse she suffered earlier. It will haunt her for years to come if you don't get it worked out now. I speak from experience. I will be praying for everything to work out for you and your dear daughter. Beth
when does your daughter turn 17? i just googled to see what your state had for compulsory attendance ages (ours is 16) ...i'm just wondering if you might be able to stall them for a bit if she has a birthday coming soon.... frankly, i'm surprised they'd put much effort into it given her age -- it's not like she's 11 or something..... it's possible others might think that the stalling thing is a bad idea - i'm not from your state (not from the states at all, i'm canadian) so i don't know how they'd do with that..but really, what can they do if she simply refuses to go? they must realize that she's not a little kid that can be physically taken somewhere (not that it would be good in that case either) .... (edit: the idea being that you and her can pursue other educational routes at your own pace after that) on the topic of a psych note -- are there any mental health programs/resources geared toward low income families that you might be able to access? our health care is way diff up here so i don't know a lot about the whole insurance thing and costs of medical care, but i figure there must be lots of people who can't afford it... is there anywhere like that where you might be able to a) get her into counseling and b) get that note? ..... (curious...does the school even have a RIGHT to say who the note must be from? you might want to check the legality of that... it may very well be that they don't, and a letter from your regular doc would suffice -- and if they fuss about him doing a psych thing, maybe he can write it from a physical point of view? put her off school for a 'physical' medical reason? {not a lie given the effect that the mind has on the body!} ..... ) aside from her abuse issues - which are very important to address in some fashion --- i have to say, high school sucks. i quit because of the bullying/ridicule/RAWR stupidity that goes on. please don't let anyone tell her to suck it up, as some are prone to do (i don't mean here, i mean IRL) because it ain't so simple. give her a dozen hugs k? the whole situation bites. :love:
If you cannot afford a psychologist, maybe the goverment can help? If you qualify for assitance someone may be able to point you in the right direciton.
She turned 17 a few days ago, sorry. She is here, and will remain until I can get a handle on things on Thursday. I think at 16 you have a right to drop out in PA, but I am not sure. But, I do not want to allow her that option ... she will have a much harder time in life if she doesn't have a diploma. I have to get ready for work now, but thank you all for your suggestions so far. I have a chance to get a job listing auctions on eBay, paid by the auction so maybe I can make more money that way ... being a single mom is just really difficult, but I will do whatever it takes to have what my daughters need. Please keep the ideas coming I appreciate them all. {{{hugs}}} Becky
Dropping out is not a barrier. I have two brothers who did it and are now working as aircraft engineers and I often wish I'd done it myself. One brother simply wrote his GED and went on to college while the other waited a few years until he was a mature student and then also went to college. Heck, even my minister who has his Masters degree was a high school drop out. Not to mention that most homeschoolers NEVER get diplomas. You just stepped into a forum full of people who are familiar with the options availible without diplomas.
^^^ yep. Becky, according to HSLDA info on PA the compulsory age is 8-17, with "until the age of 17", so now that she's turned 17, they shouldn't be able to legally force you or her to do anything...... what dawninns said is quite true -- most homeschoolers don't get diplomas (or at least not the traditional kind) ...i know there are some who do, but i would say the majority does not... there are many many other ways of "completing" school and attending college or university.... now that she's not legally required to attend school, you guys could take your time and find what would work best for you as an option to 'finish' --- if my understanding of things for your state is correct (and please someone correct if it isn't!) this would mean that you are free to homeschool her yourself without all of the rules that would apply to younger students....all the required hours and subjects and reporting and stuff that your state normally requires shouldn't apply to someone who is past mandatory school age..... if teaching her completely yourself isn't ideal for you guys, the fact that she's over the compulsory attendance age should make it easier for you to take the time you need to find a distance program, "cyber school", or any of those other things (i don't know anything about them) that works for both of you....
I talked to my friend. Shes not a lawyer and this is not legal counsel, SO just so you know that! She says that you can have your child evaluated by a STATE funded psychologist...who will get you the note and should not cost you anything. Here's the law page: http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp?State=PA I still think there would be a way for you to formally withdrawl her and set her up as homeschooled, even if you bought the curriculum yourself. HSLDA has alisting of support groups in your area too, they might be able to help too. Praying for you and your daughter. I really wish there was more I could do.
BeckyB.. pull her out now!!! fill out the affidavit to homeschool! She is old enough that she can pull off most of her work independantly. This state requires the school to loan you academic material at your request.. so request it, it won't cost you anything to get started that way. I haven't read all of the replies to this.. but will and may have another post for you.
