I don't know where else to put this. Drew is not doing what he's told. Not just a little bit. Like, I don't even know how to explain, if I take his hand and MAKE him do things, he sitll won't. Been like this for a long time. It's being a big deal again. Christian just told me he asked his dad if he could go to public school. I'm bawling right now. I *know* in my heart of hearts this would NOT be a good situation for him. It wouldn't. For many reasons. I feel like I'm under attack. Please pray.
Thank you for praying, ladies. I was having a meltdown and couldn't think what else to do than to come here and ask for prayer. So thank you! It was an awful day, one of those that the devil has you doubting if you should even BE a mother or if everyone would just be better off if you'd leave kinda days. But for two things: one, I know the Lord uses ALL things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose; and two, I know that He uses things in our lives to teach us and build our faith and bring us to the next level. So, while I still see in some places in my life that I am most definitely under attack (lack of sleep is a big one, as I know that it is now affecting my daily operating and my emotions so please continue praying for me in that), I also can see now (thank the Lord for my husband who is in tune with the Holy Spirit in a way he has never been before the past year) some places in my life and doings where I need to change. Most of those things I've been aware of for a while, and even went through a period where I tried to change them and found that I physically, mentally, emotionally could NOT change them. That taught me quite a lot about holiness, about depending on the Lord in EVERYTHING I do, about how we all fall short even when we were raised in a great Christian home and didn't make most of the typical mistakes or have some horror story of falling away from the Lord. STILL. We all sin every day and I don't think we even comprehend all of the things we do that He sees as filthy rags. Thank the Lord for grace, and for bringing me to a place where I can learn this lesson and apply compassion when talking with others. But, I still have things to change and am struggling some in my mind, in the newness of this revelation and conviction, where to find the balance in leaning on the Lord and on just doing what I need to do. I need discernment to see the things I can't do anything about or need physical or at least spiritual help dealing with and doing, and the things which are just about getting past my own flesh and DOING. So, that was a very long and sort of blog-ish post, so forgive me, but I wanted to come and post some actual information to follow-up my spur-of-the-moment, mental breakdown, original post. :lol: Thanks for praying ladies! The weekend has been much better and we are once again on the rise. That's another thing - as well as things have gone for us, even in the pit when we found it the natural thing to do to lift our eyes to Glory, it does make sense that as we move towards doing what the Lord has instructed and convicted us to do that we would come under attack. I also know that the enemy will use any door he finds to get in and meddle, and so I am praising God and thanking Him for showing me this one more door to shut to the enemy. Thank you, Jesus!! Anyway, that is all. You ladies are wonderful and I have seen time and time again the turn of the tide when the Spot bands together to pray for me and for others. I thank the Lord also for this place where I know I can come to request prayer that will yield results, as well as pray for friends in agreement with the other prayer warriors here. It's a powerful thing, prayer is! So not for the last time, thanks.
