For those of you who are full time stay at home moms, or for those who may work very part time outside of homeschooling... do people assume you have a lot of time on your hands because you are "at home"??? Suddenly, now that I am home, people think I have all this time on my hands and are asking me for things left and right. I normally love to help people out (and I still do), but I feel like I am being pulled in a million directions because people assume that I have all this time due to being home. Even though I'm "home", I still work very part time at a local church two mornings a week, I teach Sunday School, I help lead worship band for church, I volunteer at our Awana, I write music, I take my oldest to Cub Scouts, piano lessons, etc., and I am a part of our church's Worship Arts Committee and our Family Ministries Committee....I could go ON! lol We might not homeschool, but it sure doesn't mean I sit on my duff all day while watching Oprah and eating bon-bons! :lol: Just a little annoyance I've had the last few days...I can only DO SO MUCH PEOPLE! Ugh... Thanks for listening...:love:
I think we've all gone through this at one point or another. I used to get comments from my cohort members at college about how my work was 'better' because I had all the time in the world to work on it since I was home all day. Um.. yeah... between homeschooling, caring for my house, grocery shopping, taking care of the horses, being pregnant/having a newborn, being involved in church, Scouts, etc. Yeah. All the time in the world.
Yes, mostly I get asked to watch other peoples kids. For free.It happened just today. Anna's home, lets call her because she doesn't have anything better to do. Homeschooling alone should be enough for them not to do that. But besides that we also have all of our extras like music lessons, home care and so on. Thankfully I have finally learned to say no.
wow Jen thats all you do. No wonder people are asking for your help you aren't busy at all.. Now when you get done with everything they need you to do. My house needs cleaning and the girls and dh need something for supper. LOL people you wonder sometime.
This happened to me today too! A friend called to ask if I could watch her almost 4 year old. On one hand I understand she is probably overwhelmed...she just gave birth to twins not long ago and she has a 1 year old, and the almost 4 year old at home. However, her parents ARE staying with her to help right now so I don't feel "too" bad saying no today. The thing that got me is that she asked today like she wanted me to take him regularly for play dates (unless I misunderstood). Um...no. I did however tell her that I am free next Monday and could pick him up for a few hours to play with my son. No biggie. My son would love it anyways and they get along well. BUT, I will NOT be someones free willed drop off sitter. I have been taken advantage of before when I use to run a licensed center inside my home, and I will not be taken advantage of again just because I happen to be 'home'. Ugh...
Actually, no. I'm trying to remember if they did at first, but I don't think so. Most of the people who know me know that I'm busy with school; many of them are hs'ers themselves. They're too busy to worry about what I'm doing, lol!
Yeah....people stopped asking me to help them after I had my 5th. But before that...man oh man! People would ask for all kinds of things. I finally told them that if they needed a babysitter I would charge $5 an hour per kid. Not that I didn't want to help people, but seriously...when it becomes a constant berage of "can you watch my kid(s) for me for FREE?" I had to draw the line somewhere. Some ended up paying me, some found someone else. With 5 and 1 on the way people now ask me all the time when I am NOT busy!
I'm so glad my neighbors' youngest went to K this year for that very reason.... I was asked almost weekly to watch her (for free) while the mom did something or other. This mom never asks in advance- just shows up at the door assuming you'll keep her kids as long as she needs you.
I used to babysit in my home, but I stopped a few months ago when pregnancy complications came up ergularly, and our son needed some evtra help. I saw a parent of one of my former babysitting kids, and she asked how I enjoyed all of my "Free time" I was getting with the kids gone. I simply joked with her and said, "Free time, what's that?!" Lol.
I got that a lot at first ... from my husband ... but not quite as much anymore. He still thinks he works harder than I do and feels entitled to free time on the weekends (I never get free time... I even take the kids to church by myself, and we don't believe in having a nursery... the kids stay with the parents for the service).
I have to say, my husband isn't an issue. He was home with the kids for about 8 months so he knows all the time that goes into being a stay at home parent. Now...other people on the other hand...
My Dh was never bad about this, but it did come up just a little here and there. But then I went to work for a year and he stayed home. He totally changed after that. lol.
My inlaws were the worst at that for me. They figured that because I wasn't working I should have an immaculate house and do all these extra projects that the house 'needed' in all my spare time. I was lucky to be a part of a group of SAHMs who could relate so I didn't start to wonder what was wrong with me that I could't be superwoman.
My in-laws are the problem too. My friends almost all homeschool, so they understand how busy I am. My in-laws on the other hand seem to believe the only reason I homeschool is so they can see the grandkids whenever they want. I'm supposed to drop everything and make it happen on their whim. We are trying to convince them that just because we homeschool doesn't mean our schedule is any less demanding or important than the schedules of their other grandchildren who are in public school.
yep, people say that to me all the time. I tell them I work from home and home school and they say "Oh so you don't do anything all day or so your unemployed" I had to move in with my mom and she is famous for it. She has no regard to the fact that we home school and that I am trying to run a business. Every day she is up at 9 needing to go somewhere. She thinks I have free time. This morning we had issues because on Sunday I said this week we need to get back into the swing of things with school and my work which means no running the street until the work is done. First thing this morning she gets up. " I need to go to the bank, and the store, and Ikea. I had to tell her no not until what needs to be done is done. She has a car but she won’t drive. I don’t understand.
I've only had a few people make comments about "how much time I have on my hands." Mostly people that don't have kids or those that are older and have forgotten what it is like to have a child with you all the time. They don't remember or don't know that every single thing you do takes a least twice as long when you have kids. Not to mention all the other things you do like refill cups all day, take kids to the potty, teach, clean up after them, and other stuff like that.
People used to ask me to do stuff a lot ... until I basically had a mental breakdown at church one day (there was some yelling, and crying, and not showing up to do what I was supposed to). I had 3 kids at that point (4,2, and baby) and a husband who works a TON, including weekends. Let's just say I was a little stressed. ANYWAY... for some reason no one asks me to do stuff for them anymore =). Actually everything I do do now I volunteer to do.
Yep, I got asked a lot. I did the daycare from home and they would think I would not only watch their kids for free. But since they knew me, and I was doing it for free out of friendship, there were no time limits. They would leave the kiddies at any time, for how ever long, and oh, would you mind giving them a bath if we run too late?!!!!! I lost two friends over that. Come to think of it, not sure you would call them friends. Now I invite them to spend a day at my house before any favors are done like that. Then I keep to my normal routine, they are responsible for their child while visiting with me. Not too many requests come after that, lol.
When I had my daycare I got that a lot too. Not only that, but I also had a few people who thought they could use me for sick care if their child was too sick to go to school. Um...NO! If you're child is too sick to go to school then they are too sick to come to my house/daycare! :roll: Unbelievable...
