Any tips? He won't even go in the bathroom let alone stand in front of or sit on a toilet. He says he'll go when he's grown up. He just turned 4 in May, but he's quite smart, very verbal and definitely aware of his need to "go". He freaks out at the mention of using the potty, regular toilet or the little seats. I have put him in cloth pants and pull-ups and he's nearly hysterical when he's wet. Any ideas? Should I just wait? and how much longer? His 2yo sister is doing so much better and my other girls were trained on their own by 3.
My best solution is to let him go bare-bottom outside, dressed only in an over-sized T-shirt. This is the only thing that worked with my middle one. But I'm not sure it will work for you, because you say he's aware of when he needs to go. And he hates being wet. Hmmm....... Does he understand he can't have it both ways? If he's wet, I'd just let him run around in it for a while. Tell him you're too busy to deal with it, and you'll get around to it later...maybe a good half-hour later. When I let Faythe go bare-bottom, she freaked out at the idea of it going down her legs, and was trained in 48 hours!!! It amazed me, because I had tried EVERYTHING by that point!
If you really want him potty trained I would not give up. Him being wet and not liking it can help. I would let him know that the only way not to have wet pants is to go in the potty and also I would make him responsable for changing the wet cloths. This is my opinion and what I would do. Maybe make a list or poster of all the big things he does. Let him know that you would like to add going potty to his list. Maybe get some books about potty training. Find books that shoe what kids at his age do, make sure it has potting in it. Use rewards. M & Ms everytime he trys or goes. Maybe offer something special for when he is finally potty trained. To me it sounds like he is ready, he just needs to know that he is big enough now to be potty trained. I wish you luck and I would keep trying.
You know, the funny thing is that he's picked out a few special cars and really great dinosaur to be his potty reward. Every time I mention that he could have those if he goes on the potty he says, "that's ok, I have enough toys." If I offer him candy(which he loves), "that's ok, I'm full". He always has an excuse. I think you're right I need to just get him in cloth pants and never go back. Wow, that sounds like torture and a mess, LOL. I need to pick a week when we don't have anything going on.
Sounds very inteligent (sp wrong) I'd just keep working on it. Maybe point out when others go potty and say see how big they are. Maybe limit the things he can do, because they are big boy things. Your in a tough spot, Good Luck.
Is there some way Daddy can help? A "man thing" sort of idea.....? Maybe Daddy can take him somewhere special, "just us guys", when he is trained......?
have you tried the videos? and books? have you asked him if he is afraid of falling in? Maybe you need to revert to a potty seat/ chair.
I read Secrets of The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers and that helped me get Jeannie trained fast. It seems to me one of the things she said was to let the kids sit backwards on the toilet. It makes them feel more stable. That book is by Tracy Hogg, btw.
Dr. Sears book said to do the bare bottem week outside (to save the mess). I think the point of that is so they can figure out how to tell when they are going and when they need to cause the diapers are SOOO absorbant. Sami potty trained early but she is stubborn about other things.. She is 4 too.. I'd say especially since he hates being wet, I'd run out of diapers/pullups and refuse to buy more and if he pees his pants he needs to change it himself. Then I'd plan for a week of mess and tears.. or less depending on how stubborn the kiddo is.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I only want to give you another perspective. I know some people say "never punish a child when they wont go potty", but I believe it depends on the child. When a situation like this becomes a power struggle and mind game, sometimes there needs to be consequences. Yes, its great to give them treats when they go, etc., but if they know they are not going to get punished then they will continue to make the choice to not go on the potty then it's pointless. Sometimes we can not give them the choice. It's either "you do this or this happens". Please don't take this the wrong way, but if it's not pushed you will still have a 5 year old in diapers. I would just put him in underwear, let him feel the accidents, be consistant, etc. Don't put the diapers back on him even if he has 10 accidents the first day because accidents are bound to happen. It's not suppose to be easy and accident free. Don't be afraid to put your foot down, you are the parent. Giving a child choices is one thing, giving them the control is another. Right now, he has control and you have to regain it. Don't ask him if he has to go potty, tell him "you need to go potty or try to go potty". If he doesn't want to try, then set a consequence. Good luck. Like I said, no offense, but some people are too focused on waiting til the child is ready, which is great for some. But when you have a child who likes this much control, the parent has to decide when it's time, not the child.
This is what I'm thinking needs to happen. I've just had a hard time putting my foot down, because he's had a rough past 2 years. Lots of family stuff, my own depression, he had undiscovered food allergies that caused severe behavior issues, his sister was born and screamed virtually non-stop for her first year etc. Our house has been really stressful for so many reasons since my youngest was born, that it's been hard to be hard on him. He's been through so much and just now adjusting to a more calm house. However, I do think this is a power struggle and I'm going to have to win this one. I don't feel right punishing him for accidents, but I do feel ok with him cleaning his own messes and being responsible for getting his soiled clothes to the laundry. Thanks all, for helping think this through.
Vikki, that is what I was trying to convey. While my son was potty training I did not reprimand him for legitimate accidents. I did however punish him for "lazy" accidents...meaning, accidents that happend because he would not SIT on the potty or accidents that occured because he didn't want to stop what he was doing. I didn't mean to sound like you had to be a stone cold "you know what", but just putting your foot down, setting consequences for when he will not even try because he "doesn't want to try". For example, telling him if he doesn't try to go that he will get a toy taken away. If you put your foot down, it will work out. Good luck.
Yes, we did the bare-bottom thing OUTSIDE, lol! I was talking to a friend, and she said to ask if he was a preemie. Hers was, and she says it makes a difference. She also said that, at age four, she would just put him in pull-ups and tell him that when he wants to start wearing BigBoy pants, to let her know. She feels he knows how and where and everything, and there's no way you're going to "make" him. This way, the ball is totally in his court and it's all up to him. If you don't stress over it, he'll be more willing to do it.
Hi, he wasn't a preemie. Actually, he was born on his due date at 10.5 pounds. LOL. He's just a very strong willed, stubborn little boy.
I total agree, I can tell you do homeday care. I wish you luck and send my prays for more children. I also do homeday care and I also mean no offense. But I do agree with what you say. The only other thing I can say is you need to decide if you want your child potty trained and if you do you may have to step up to the plate and not give him any choice. I also wish you luck.
I have a homeschooling friend with nine kids. She's the one who told me to let Faythe go bare-bottom. Her strategy has always been to do that, the summer closest to their 2nd birthday. Well, a few years ago with her twins, they were at the pool. Her 2YO son just pulled down his swim suit and started peeing in the pool! The life guard came up behind to say something to him. The little guy turned to give attention to the guard and accidently "sprayed" him, LOL!!!
I agree with JenPooh. He's not 2 or even 3, but 4 with normal controll. I would not be using a pull up. Why would a kid bother to use the loo when he has a portable loo straped to his bum. :lol: I used the bare bottum method on my dd just after she turned 3 as nothing else had worked. She trained basicly in a day :shock: for going tinkles anyway. I put my foot down at about 3 1/2 for her constant pooping of her nap time nappy. She stoped that shortly after.
LOL! Since camping last summer my son has been facinated with going in bushes. Even when him and his friends are outside playing, he asks to pee in the trees.:lol: :roll: .
I'm still wondering why he is afraid to be near the toilet?? Did he flush a toy down and it got sucked away? A lot of the mom's have delt with pure stubborn (I did too) but first rule out why he is scared, find out if he has a blader problem--imature bladder (we are dealing with that problem too.) Then when you figure out if its fear, medical, or just darn stubborness, get a game plane, check the websites of www.pampers.com I think its there that has this system of poty training they send you a "kando" kit it has a door know hanger with the steps of WIPE FLUSH and WASH HANDS. you get to put a stickeer for each thing you do. then they get a "diploma" for doing every thing on their own. On the Chuck E. Cheese site there is a "potty training" chart--but it ends on June 30th (if its like the one for cleaning your room--but call your local chuck e. cheese and see if you can still use it.) Watch the videos. Read the books. over and over and over.
