I wasn't sure whether or not to post this on the Christian forum or this one. I chose this one because it is a broad-spectrum concern that affects all of us. But I welcome Christian input so please don't refrain :wink: . I am going through some serious homeschooling burnout. I have been for over a month now. I feel like I lack conviction to even homeschool, and I know that isn't true but when I think about why we do this it is difficult to tell myself to press on. I'd like to know what everyone else has done to avoid burnout or to at least get through it and regain the conviction that brought you to this decision in the first place. I battle depression, too, so that is a given and I need to get back on meds, but I'd really like some practical advice for the long haul. Thanks!
Hi Brooke, When I started reading your message, I immediately thought of depression...Then you mentioned it. Is it worse for you in the winter months? I know it is for me... I always experienced burnout from November-February when I was teaching. School was exciting and easier for me from Aug-Oct and Mar-May. I didn't realize it until later that it was the depression. If I were homeschooling, I would probably do my best teaching from March 1 through Thanksgiving. Perhaps that is an option for you... then you could do be more flexible to do exciting things in the winter months to keep you from getting so depressed (unless you already teach through the summer...). Another thing that could help your current situation is to try some new activities that could help you get out of the rut. Think of some things that give you joy in homeschooling... When that light bulb clicks on, the smiles when you're doing something fun, having the freedom to tailor the curriculum to your child, etc. Then plan some activities that will bring the life back into what you're doing. I keep imagining in my mind a project that would become a keepsake... Something you could look back on later to remind you how great homeschooling is. For example, in my classroom, making class books with the kids made me feel good. I could see how much the kids had learned, we could be creative, and we all could look back at it the rest of the year and enjoy it. I have lots of ideas for student-made books for any topic or skill you are working on -- if you want them. Those books were class favorites that the kids would go back and read all the time. I don't know if this helps much, but this is what would help me in my classroom when I was feeling burnout.
Depression. :roll: I suffer from it, too. A few days ago our paper ran an article with the symptoms, and I had every single one! Sometimes I wish I could just wring my brain out and hopefully it would just disappear! I also am going back and forth about h.s.ing, and I'm not even official yet. For me, the majority of my problem is my husband. He offers no opinion, he's not involved unless I ask, and he's just not 'there'. He's an excellent worker, faithful. But where the kids are concerned, it's all on me, my decision. It's scary, because I'm the one that has to look into everything, arrange everything. If I make a wrong choice, it will be all on me. My oldest goes today to get the rsults of his placement test at the college. My husband thinks he should be able to drop Kevin off and let him handle it by himself. So, if I don't take Kevin myself, there will be no parent involvement in Kevin's educaton at the community college. Also if I take him, Jeannie misses her gym class. To me, that's not right. That's not how a parent behaves, but you can't tell my husband that. Maybe my husband is the only one..... Sometimes I think Jeannie would be better off in a school setting, just to get away from me. The indecision, the inabilities that come with depression, I mean. I don't know.... there's no easy answers. I do know I want to stay off the medication. Last April or so, I stopped taking it, and the withdrawl (sp?) was worse than the depression itself. No, thanks. I do like the idea of doing things differently in the winter. Most people do things differently in the summer, so why not? Well, it is conmforting to know I'm not alone.
We have alot of stressers going on right now...most of them good stressers like a better job and such. To tell you the truth, homeschooling seems to be the only precurser to my most recent depressions. I am really social, as are my kids and husband, and we live in an area where we don't get to see anyone most days. Our town is so small that there is nothing for kids or families unless it involves something with the school. (I can't even use the only library in town because my kids aren't enrolled at the school) We will be moving to a large city with alot of homeschoolers so I'm hoping things will be different after a while. I guess winter is another time when depression is worse, but I haven't gone through a winter depression unless it was also when we were homeschooling....for those who don't know my oldest went to K and half of 1st grade at public, then homeschooled the rest of that year, then public for 2nd grade and now homeschooling for 3rd and I have a dd in K at home, too. I need to pray about this but it is getting difficult for me to find time alone to pray anymore either. I had been getting up before everyone else but now the kids are up before I am (another depression symptom). The best word to describe how I am feeling right now is "trapped". I need to go back to the doctor. I am not being a very good mother/teacher right now because of this. I've been on meds before for temporary depression and I was fine coming off of it. At least I know that "this, too, will pass". Amanda, thanks for the practical ideas. I'm really thinking that this is depression more than homeschool burnout since I can't seem to get up the gumption to attempt anything "fun". :roll: Right now the quick fix seems to be public school to get me out of the house at a job or school again. Like Becky, I question whether or not the kids being at home with me is a good idea when I feel like this everyday.
I was thinking about that when I was making the suggestions... When you're depressed you can't make yourself do things... you just can't. I don't know if I could use my own advice sometimes. :roll:
moving day When is your moving day? That should be exciting. I love being in a city even if small that has homeschool opportunities. I would die without them. That is your main problem being stuck at home too much without any friends going thru what you are. Maybe the move will be what is needed. This is my 6th year homeschooling and I get burn out too. I just try to find a unit study that interests me and the kids and work on it for a few days until I feel like going back to the regular books.
We don't have a moving date yet. We are about a week away from being able to close on the house we are selling. We expect 2 to 3 weeks at the most to close on the house we are buying. We are trying to have the closing dates (and posession dates) the same week. The closer it gets, the more I am getting excited rather than nervous. I am a person not to count chickens before they hatch so I've been uptight concerning the house we are buying going through quickly like the sellers want :? ....like we can make the paperwork go any faster????? Anyway, it'll get done and I have a feeling that the move is just what I need. I have always lived on an acreage in the country (except while at college) so the city will be a big change, too, but I think I am ready for it. It just is not practical to homeschool in my area. I mean, we would do it, but there just aren't the resources here as in a city. Right now we are less than a mile from my mom and dad, granparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We will be moving to the same city my husband's family lives in. I am anxious now that I have developed a great relationship with my MIL. Anyway, I'm feeling better today. I started packing so maybe that means I've made that mental move and am feeling like moving is more a reality now. Who knows. I'll get through it!
Wow. I forgot I posted this! You know what, that move was exactly what I needed. All of us. We have a new church with tons of homeschoolers, a great circle of new friends, wonderful library and community resources. We are doing so well!!! And after reading this thread again I can hardly believe I was lacking conviction to homeschool then. It seems like breathing to me now, kwim? I never did get on meds, but after we moved I seemed to have been cured for the most part. We also found some new curriculum at that same time that changed our homeschooling life tremendously! All of that combined with the new church has turned our world around for the better.
Wow, as I was reading I thought Brooke typed this yesturday! Here I was ready to give you suggestions. I know for myself, I need change. I can't do the same tedius (sp?) things for too long. My burn out I believe also just comes from not getting out of the house for ME enough. I really do love my preschoolers I have, and I see so many positives with being able to be with Tanner all the time. Especially at his tender age. I have come to except that this is what God wants for me right now. I don't know all the reasons why, but excepting it is sometimes half the battle. So now I must just think of ways to get out of the home more often. One bright side to this is that I met this lovely woman through AWANA. She brings her twin boys too so we both chat while our boys are in Cubbies. We are forming a nice friendship and it just so happens she works for the same bank as the hubby. We have many things in common and we have hit it off really well. I have "girl" friends, but none of them go to my church and it's nice to find someone to click with that goes to my church as well. Talking to her about Troy's situation and having many things in common with her has helped to vent and release some of that. So, I think I need things to help me get out more often. I think it's being cuked up in this house that drives me batty. I have the energy to muster, I just need to use it effectively.
Brooke, I was well into reading this discussion before I realized the date of the original post. It is so good to hear that it all has a happy ending! I think the problem of depression is something more common than we see, of course we all experience things at varying degrees. I just wanted to mention a few of the simpler things that have helped me through rough times, perhaps for the benefit of any reader. I have noticed over the years that often simply not taking care of myself is what will plunge me into mental despair. So I pray for God's grace to even be willing to try to fix the situation in my head, then... get some water... take a stroll to the garden, a brisk walk to the mailbox, or play tag with the children--anything to get some more oxygen to my brain... shower, if I've been putting it off (recently, I've made washing my face, brushing my hair, and getting fully dressed part of my routine first thing when I get out of bed--it really boosts your spirits fast!)... whenever possible, include something raw and yummy in the next meal--those enzymes are the life of the food, and the life of us, too!... and the last one, which I don't know how often is possible for a mom, but sure helps if we can find a way: get enough sleep--and when I can't, by God's grace, smile about the day, and don't dwell on what I missed.
Diet, that I have thought about too. Not going on a diet, my family says the wind will blow me away if I don't wear weights on my ankles, but just eating healthier. I rarely eat breakfast because I just can't find the time, when I eat lunch it is usually something quick and easy, which isn't usually healthy. Dinner is usually a healthy balance actually but the only real balanced meal I eat. And let's not talk about the monthly chocolate muchies For me they are weekly chocolate muchies...that's all I'll say about that...
About the time I moved I also went through a lifestyle change in the food department. Getting the depression out of the way gave me a chance to see just what my attitude about food had been (comfort, escape, etc.). I don't eat like I used to at all...I don't buy the junk cuz if I do everyone in the house eats it till it's gone. I'm also making a proactive step to have gastric bypass surgery (for obesity). I'm not way overweight by most people's standards, but my thyroid is really bad and it will only get worse if I don't do something about it now. I am glad I was able to get out of the depression to start taking better care of myself.
