I am getting so frustrated with my 8yo dd!! She knows I am frustrated but she doesn't know the level I am frustrated. Here is the problem. I have been trying to teach her to read for over 2 years. It is SLOW going. She can read better than she thinks but she keeps hitting a wall once we get past 3 letter words!!!!! She won't even TRY to read them!!! She throws herself on the floor and screams and throws tantrums like she used to when she was 2. I have tried every program out there!! I haven't had her tested for any LD or dyslexia, but I am thinking maybe that is the next step. I did google dyslexia and she doesn't have ANY of the symptoms so I am not thinking that is it....we don't have any history of LD in our families, so maybe she is just stubborn, or has a mental block?!?!?! I know I should just let her learn when she is ready, but I know that she would rather never read than learn. She has told me before that she doesn't want to read words because she might mess them up. Is it just her perfectionism that is the problem?? I only had 1 other kid that struggled to learn, but once he grasped the concept he took off. He was 7. Part of my frustration is I need her to be more independent with her schoolwork and as long as she can't/won't read I have to be overly involved wtih every single step of all assignments. It's driving me crazy! Also, because of this, she is 2 grade levels behind in several areas! AAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! I don't know what to do. I am ready to toss her to the ps system and let them figure it out.
Is this the dd named Patience? :lol: I can tell you are at the end of your rope...but I really don't think you mean the last sentence. She'd have a much much harder time being thrown in the school system....probably being sent back a couple of grades to learn to read, but then having to learn to read with 30 other kids. My first thought was I wonder if you could show her some longer words that are made up of smaller words...kind of like showing syllables/compound words. Like....catnap, carpet, cowboy, teacup, teapot (unless she doesn't know the ea sound), outfit, outlet... I don't know, I'm trying to think of really short compound words that are made up of two 3 letter words. Then she could see that wow...she can read longer words (that *might* just be the start of a confidence builder). I know exactly what you mean when you say you have to help her with all her schoolwork. I found that to be the case with my son...when a kid struggles to read it affects every single subject. I've tried pretty much every phonics program on the market too. I'm wondering if maybe instead of an entirely different program...how about the Explode the Code books? They start out very simple but they do progress quite far. I kinda feel this wasn't overly helpful. I hope others have some good suggestions. ETA: Another thing...and I'm not sure how you can actually stop this...but the tantrums have got to stop. They can't be allowed. She needs to do her lessons each day without the tears. If she can get through a phonics lesson with reasonable effort and good attitude then maybe you can think of some reward system for her. That might help her keep her emotions in check...if she's working towards her goal.
My first thought was when were her eyes checked last? She sounds just like Reagan did and here the poor kid needed glasses way worse than we ever could have imagined! My next thought is do we have the same 8yo DD???? Rylee CAN read, she just doesn't want to and acts like she can't. She is very artsy and into artsy things... I would picture going off into imaginary worlds in a book would be awesome to her, it was to me as a kid! But, nope, not at all! I get that she doesn't care for math, but I never thought I would be really having to force her to read for just 15-20 minutes a day... and reading books way below her level of ability. I have no other advice.... since I'm drowning here too.
Batmans wife: I have tried compound words...she HATES them. There is some kind of a block as soon as there are more than 3 letters. It doesn't matter if there are 2 3 letter words. For example, she can read cow and boy but when you put them together she instantly can't read cowboy. That is when the tantrums start. I know I don't really want to send her to school, and I know it would harm her more than help, I am just at the end of my rope. And yes, she is "patience". I may try explode the code. That is the one program I haven't tried yet. Sommer: I didn't even think to have her eyes checked! It has been a few years since I had them checked, but she was fine last time. I will make an appointment today to get them checked. I am also thinking that maybe we have twin children! My oldest is like Garrett and my 8yo is like Rylee. If we were closer I would love to get them together!
So you're saying you think she can read better than she lets on, but is afraid to try, because it might be "wrong"? OK, you might want to try this. (Speaking now more as brainstorming for ideas, NOT "this will solve it for you"!) Assuming she CAN "read", put aside all reading programs. Spend the next two or three weeks just reading aloud to her. Make the books enjoyable, and have it a "cuddle time". Relaxing, just you and her (yeah, I know you have smaller ones, but....). Then, once she really likes your reading time together, start a book you feel she can read, but have some interruption part way through. Tell her that you're busy, and she'll have to finish it on her own. See if she's motivated enough to do that. Make her WANT to know the ending, but the only way she can find it out is to do it herself. Just an idea, don't know how it would work out!
My solution to tantrums is to get up and walk away. Tantrums are for audiences, and I refuse to be one. And my solution to whining is "I'm sorry, I can't understand whining, I only speak English. Please use your English, not whining."
Jackie: I love your idea!! I may just have to use it and see if it works!! Plus it will give her and I some one on one time that I am sure she needs. Lindina: I usually do walk away. She follows me. :roll: The only thing that works most times is sending her to her room. Embassy: yes she can read sight words that are more than 3 letters. She struggles a bit more with them but she can do it. ETA: Batmanswife: I have tried all kinds of reward systems. Most recently she could earn either 1 minute per word she reads on the tablet, or .01 cents per word. It worked for a few lessons but not any more.
When my son was about 3 years old and had started to go to kindergarten, he did not have a lot of language and was not able to read alot. At the time, he used to throw alot of tantrums to which we thought is a prolonged "terrible 2s". But when he started kindergarten we were referred to get a special education assessment done. We had also noticed that he used to parrot (repeat whatever you say to him verbatim) without realising any meaning. Anyway, to cut the long story short... we eventually found out that he had Autism and then subsequently started working on his reading as well as understanding starting with letters and then one, two, three letter words and eventually sentences. By no means, am I suggesting that your child has Autism. But it may pay to check their understanding of their learning. If she is not understanding what she is reading then it may cause her to get frustrated and show tantrums.
My oldest (who will be 10 in Jan) is like that with the can read but thinks he can't for fear of being wrong. When he reads aloud, he looks up at me after every. single. word. for feedback that he got it right! Drives me CRAZY! LOL But, if I send him to his room with a leveled reader and tell him to read it then come back to me and narrate it, he flies through the book, occasionally coming to me with one hard word he can't figure out, but usually reads the whole thing and gets it. Sometimes I'll have him then re-read the book aloud to me, just to be sure he's reading and not guessing and using the pictures, and he's not. I think it's his perfectionism and fear of being wrong...have you tried sending her to her room to read alone so she feels less pressured? This is the child who spent 2 years in PS and was taught sight words. We took a year off of any real reading instruction (1st grade) then we stepped back and started over with basic phonics and rules. And I found that using computer programs that he could learn independently helped as well, no one was there to see him mess up or get something wrong. We used Starfall, ClickNKids and ReadingEggs. I also started refusing to read things to him in real life that I knew he could read himself...I also started leaving him notes, he loves that, it makes him feel special. Sometimes the note tells him to go look somewhere for a surprise, so it's a dangling carrot but hey, whatever gets them reading. Now we're back to McGuffey's Readers and Webster's Blue Back Speller and he's doing really well with those.
Xander (my 7yo non-reader) has been making actual progress, for the first time, using Teach Your Monster To Read. It's free. The only "downside" is that he's learning pronunciations with an English accent. lol. I'm looking forward to following this thread. Other than the eensy progress he's made this past month, I'm in the same boat (minus the tantrums).
When Rachael was little, and I would ask her a question that wasn't so cut-and-dry (like, "Why do you think the lady ran away?" or "What do you think he will do next?"), she would always look at me and say, "What do YOU think?" She was terrified of getting it "wrong", even when I told her there was no "right" or "wrong" answer.
