With my daughter, everything is great. She loves homeschooling and is embracing everything we do. (she is in 5th) My son (2nd grade), my sweet, compliant, loveable kid is now a grumpy monster who won't do anything I tell him to do (unless it is "fun") I am trying to start slowly with him but he refuses to do anything. He just sat here for an hour, writing one word on a page. It was EASY. I wrote 5 sentences with FILL IN THE BLANKS about our field trip yesterday, but he only wrote the first word for the place we went yesterday. This was his second assignment for the day, the first was a science experiment that he did, but he still have me attitude when we were getting started. He is my easy kid, this is not him. I am SO frustrated, Ive been sitting here crying and feeling like a complete failure. Thursday and Friday of last week were the same way. Are some kids just not cut out for homeschooling?
All kids are cut out for homeschooling, but there are some kids who think that pushing mom's buttons will be more successful than pushing a teacher's buttons. There are times when when I have to really put my foot down with my oldest. One of our family rules is "Work hard, play hard. But work comes first." If he starts doddling (e.g. one word written in an hour, which he's been known to do) I make it clear that he will finish the assignment if it takes him all day. In which case he won't be able to do any of the fun stuff that his brothers will do after our school day is over. I don't have to do it often, but the occasional reminder than mommy really is boss is helpful to him
hang in there and let him know who is boss. My girls pull this some of the time, but all children will, they will try to see if they can "rule" you. but you have to hang tough and get creative with ideas on how to respond to his attitude. I have had one who had to sit in her room and finish her work, it took her until bed time, but it got done and hubby stepped in and got her to start working. just hang in there, we all have been there.
All kids are cut out for homeschooling, but not all kids homeschool the same way. My 6yo will NOT sit and write things out, but he will do it with me orally all day long. I think it's a motor skills issue, and he's just not ready to do much writing yet. That's understandable; I still have him do handwriting sometimes, but it's much easier to sneak it in when he doesn't realize it than it is to stop and specifically work on it. He's my hands-on learner, and the one I have the most trouble from in general. He's my strong-willed child, and in addition to being very hands-on just has a tendency to be disagreeable. You said your son isn't that sort, so might it be possible that there are specific tasks which are hard for him? Or, maybe the whole approach just doesn't feel good for him. You said he did the science experiment just fine (albeit with attitude, which is an issue by itself). Maybe he just needs more hands-on time and less desk work. I know my son does, and - since my brain doesn't really work that way - it's tough on me sometimes to figure out how to teach something so that he will DO it AND actually retain the info. Could be totally off, but that was my first thought.
He needs to understand that you're in charge. He can sit all day if he wants, but he STILL needs to do it. And sometimes it does come to a battle of wills. He can sit through lunch and miss it, he can sit there and watch the others outside playing, he can still be sitting there when Daddy gets home. But when you "win" and he realizes that he will NOT do anything else, he's less likely to do it the next time.
One thing I see many homeschoolers do is that they somehow separate schooling from any other chore. What if your son wouldn't clean his room or refused to clear his plate from the table if you told him to? What would the consequence be? This is a discipline issue. One thing my principal said to me when I first started teaching professionally was this: Someone is going to be in control of that classroom, either you or the students. We expect it to be you. I'd recommend getting timers and setting up a rule chart along with the consequences if he doesn't follow them. Give him a set amount of time to do 'x' before you move on to 'y.' Anything not done in the time limit will be done during his free time; if he finishes early, then he has more free time [plus a bonus if you can throw it in]. Any disrespect will have a negative consequence; especially good behavior will have a positive consequence.
I hear an echo in here. Question, is your child pretty compliant with other things, chores, etc.? I've seen kids who would not mind mom with regard to chores, making their bed, etc. and when they started to homeschool, the child mirrored that same behavior. ((((( )))))
Thank you for this advice. I think I will work on giving him more hands on activities, that probably would help him a lot. Academically he is strong in every area, there is nothing he has ever had "trouble" with. He is my easy kid, he listens and does what he is told. "Is there anything else you need done Mommy?" is frequently heard out of his mouth, this is NOT typical behavior for him and so it has thrown me off completely. I will work on the discipline for him when schooling, I will also try using a timer and giving him a set amount of time for each subject. Thank you, I appreciate the advice.
I don't know if this will help, but I have an eight year old who does the same thing. Discipline was an issue. We became more diligent about consequences for disobedience and disrespect. That helped, but I also found that my son does better if I make a list of all the things we must do in school for the day. I break the list into small chunks, so that we can frequently check things off. When possible, I let him choose the order in which we do things. Personally, I would choose to do the least favorite things first, but he does better when he does them last. He says that the doing the subjects he enjoys most first gets him in ther right mind set for school. I also think it is easier for him to just buckle down and do the least favorite assignment when he sees that it is the only thing keeping him from being finished and free to play.
(((HUGS))) I have a 5th grade girl and a 3rd grade boy. I so know where you are... I don't know if this will help you or not...but when it comes to "seat work" for my son, it helps him a lot to listen to his iPod. (yes...my husband got him one for Christmas last year). Anyway...it really helps him to the "mundane, unfun" stuff quicker. Also...boys are different with fine-motor stuff, so writing alone is a pain to them (at least from my experience). My son is REALLY smart...but hates any kind of writing. I think that's fairly boy-typical. (((HUGS))) You'll get through it.
If he doesn't do his work, then no play, no t.v., no video games, no phone, no computer, etc. I have a daughter in the 6th grade and she can do all of her work in 2 1/2 hours if she works dilligently. When she loafs, that's fine, until she wants to do whatever, then it is "Are you through with your schoolwork?" "No" "Then no you can't do whatever until it is done". And stick to your guns. Let him know you mean what you say.
This is already a given in our household. He just sits and sulks at the table. We didn't do any schoolwork today, it was the only day my husband was home for the week, so we had a family day. Tomorrow we will see how things go, I am going to give him a time to finish each subject, then he can use any time he's "built up" to have screen time at the end of the "school day" I usually don't allow screen time at all during the week, but homeschooling is giving us a lot more free time, so I am reconsidering... And this kid LOVES the Wii....
If he loves the Wii, get the "physical" games and call it P.E. When he gets his class work done, then he can do P.E. on the Wii. Might just be the motivation he needs.
Sounds like he is testing you and trying to find his "boundries", know what I mean ?? Don't give up yet, you are going to have to be very firm with him about how he is expected to behave. My 6 y/o, and occasionally my 11 y/o, dd did this to me too. I told her she was not going to play outside with her friends today unless she started taking her work seriously right now. I didn't yell at her, I was just very serious and she knew I was going to follow through with my threat. It is amazing how much her attitude changed after that. I make sure though, she is just being stubborn, as opposed to just needing a break, very big differances between the two. It could be something else you want to take away. My kids don't play video games, or really care to watch tv, so my only "amo" was playtime. I know that sounds harsh, but I have only had to do it 1 time with my younger dd. Although it wasn't because of school work, she was caught riding her bike on the road without an adult outside, which is a big no-no in this house.
Your replies make me laugh, because we are SO on the same page. This has been our PE time, but I let him do it in the middle of his work. (as a "recess" type thing) Apparently I need to leave him alone to do his work... Yesterday, I ltook the baby to Mommy and Me class and left the kids to do their work (My husband had just gotten home from working all weekend, so he went to sleep) and I was shocked to come home to find all his work done (except for the things we were doing together) and neatly too.... hmmmmmmm, maybe I need to have him work somewhere other than the table, away from me where he can put on his little sulking act.... I hope leaving my kids semi-alone to do their work isn't detrimental to homeschooling, because this is my Monday plan, so the baby (19 months) can get out and have some fun too.
I agree with this lady., ALL kids are cut out for homeschooling. Some take more work, especially if they have ever been in a public school enviroment. That tends to say "" The Lord gave us these children and He told us in Deut. that we are to teach them all the day long of Him. That means they have to be home with us teaching them
Deut. 6: 5-7 and Deut.11:19. They say we are to teach our children of Him as we sit, lie down, walk, and when thou rise. All day long
