Hi all, I hope I'm not busting in where I shouldn't be as I'm not homeschooling right now, but I'm on the hunt for advice from Mom's who have experience. I've intended since before my eldest son was born (now I have 3, ages 5,3 and 7mo) to homeschool my children but I have a number of reservations. I'm going to list them, and if you have advice for me on one or any, it would be much appreciated!! 1. Most people I know who homeschool have help from extended family. I have none. Do many of you manage it successfully on your own with several children? Even with my 3yr old in preschool 2 mornings a week, and my son in montessori kindergarten 4 afternoons a week, I feel like I just can't keep up! 2. I sort of feel like I've set my kids up for disliking homeschooling as they've done preschool, and enjoy the social time. All through summer "what are we going to do today" rang through the house. They want to be out... busy. I'm worried I'll get started homeschooling, only to have them really dislike it. Then they'd be worse off heading to school later. 3. My son who's 5 is delayed in motor skills (which is the reason I put him in Montessori). I'm concerned that I'll not be able to help him as well as a trained teacher. 4. I'd like an idea of about the time commitment involved, if anyone could comment on that. Also, for those of you with several young children, I'd love to hear a bit about what life looks like in your family. 5. Please share your best tips on getting started. Although my son is attending school, I'm sort of thinking that I might just get started with trying homeschooling at the same time. Just in case I find I'm lousy at it! Thanks in advance! I know that was wrong. I'm really wrestling with this decision.
First of all, you were not wrong. You were making choices in educating your children, which is what we should be doing as parents. Relax. It is a learning process on both sides. 1. I do not have any family around. I admit I only have one child, but it still is much at times in its own way. The nice thing about being an adult is choosing your family. I am in a very small church and no one else is homeschooling but the people there are my family. I didn't put my daughter in outside classes, but just hauling children back and forth is quite time consuming and cuts into the day. 2. You would not be the first person to have put your child in classes and then pull them out to homeschool. It would be a change. You all would need to adapt. My daughter had a homeschooled best friend with whom she would meet once a week, but then they moved. She had to adapt to losing her friend--all our lives we adapt. That being said, you might find that there are homeschool groups in your area that provide socialization and even some classes. I was in a co-op when my daughter was 5yo but since have chosen to stay independent. My daughter is involved with 4-H Horse and Pony Club and will be taking riding lessons from the older members soon. She is also involved in church and she has piano lessons for which she has recitals two to three times a year and she performs for our church often also. She has plenty to keep her busy and be around other children of all ages. But, even so, she will still ask what we are going to do today; I think that is just what children do. Will your children be bored some days? Probably. You can guide them into activities to entertain themselves. For my daughter, that is art. She just loves to draw and paint and even do sidewalk chalk. Being an artist, who rarely has the time to do art these days, I am very pleased to let my a child have a good amount of free time to be creative and while she is being creative she is still learning. 3. What training do you feel you lack for working with your son? Delayed motor skills simply means he is not developing in his motor skills on the same time table as his peers according averages, not that he cannot develop them on his own in time. I am not sure that means he actually needs any special help to do it all himself eventually. My daughter might have been classified that way because other children were using scissors with more control than she was at a certain age, but when she wanted to learn to cut, she just began doing it and as she practiced she improved--on her own time table. 4. You control your time. You do it by what curriculum or approach you choose and how you use it, for instance, seat work is something done sparingly in my home. Although I only have one child, in some ways it is quite challenging in a different way, because I am her only source of attention, so I probably spend just as much time as a mother of three, just differently. You will probably start out with some things in mind and modify them as you go, pretty much like we all do. Some things will work well, some things will not. However, I think you will find that your children learn more in less time each day than you think it will take and that you will be reinforcing what they learned throughout the day. Homeschooling for most is not schooling at home, but a lifestyle of educating our children based from our homes and it goes on all day, every day. My daughter, at age 5, was a bit advanced so she was doing 30 to 60 minutes of piano and music alone. Spelling, grammar (Language Lessons), math, logic, geography, Latin, French, history, Bible studies, science filled up between 3 to 5 hours depending on just how the day went, but it was not all school-like and boring. We found ways to liven it up and make it fun for both of us. 5. The best time for a homeschool trial run is during a summer break or long holiday break. That is not to say you cannot start now, only that your time may be more limited and you already mentioned that you feel like you cannot keep up with what you are doing.
WELCOME!!! Actually, you've come to the perfect place to ask your questions, so don't worry about "busting in". We have a wide community here. We have both Christian and secular hs'ers, people that homeschool for a wide variety of reasons, some who are previous hs'ers, some who homeschool one while sending another to public school, some (like you) who are interested in learning more, some with only preschoolers, some with older....WHEW!!! 1) I think having a very helpful extended family is the exception. My family is supportive, but they don't "help". Some on here have extended family that is very disfunctional, to the extend they have little/nothing to do with them. Most are somewhere in between. 2) Why do you want to homeschool? This may help here. My children know that school will NEVER be an option, unless God "releases" us to that. If you consider sending them back, that's fine. But if the kids know and understand that, they might be fighting you every step. You know how they (mine, at least, lol!) get on something and whine and whine about it, just wearing you down. How important is "socialization" to you? More importantly, how important is the socialization done at schools (because homeschooled kid are VERY social, just not in the confines of a school building!)? Do you want a "high school experience" with yearbooks and Proms, etc? Or are you willing to give that up? 3) We have many on here who are hs'ing special needs kids. You may not be a teacher, but I spent many years teaching kids with physical handicaps...spina bifida, cerebral palsy, severe brain injury, muscular dystrophy, etc. So speaking from experience, most parents know a LOT more than they think they do! Most parents are VERY capable, if only they start thinking only the "professionals" have all the answers. You CAN do it, if you chose to! 4) My family is an exception, as we start early in the AM. Most of those on here start around 8 or 9. I have three kids, ages 9, 13, and 15. We do school from about now until roughly 2:30. No, not "straight through"! We have things going on several days, and will break a bit. Usually we do math/language/history in the AM, and science in the PM with lots of reading aloud and silent reading time (do a search for "Mommy Time" on here!!!). HS'ing around younger kids can sometimes be a challenge, but it CAN be done. Take advantage of their naptime, for example, and keeping worksheets/coloring pages handy for when they come sit down and decide they want to "play school, too!" Your son is still young; we're talking maybe two hours to get things done. (Again, read up on "Mommy Time"!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!) Hope this is helpful!!!
Oh but you have such a wonderful age to start them!!! Especially because homeschool does NOT need to be "school at home!" Nature walks, and playing are all part of it. Don't worry about "delayed motor skills" - honestly I swear I'm still developing mine He'll most likely grow into it at his own pace, and THAT'S OK!!! I pulled my kids when they were starting 5th grade and 2nd grade. I was terrified - but going into year 3 I find that we are just starting to know each other again. Yes, they miss some of the socializing from public school......but guess what? That wasn't the reason I was sending them to school. Now - with 2 foster children in Public School - I would not want to send my kids there. Why? One child is in 10th grade Advanced English and she is studying the same mythology that my 10 year old is (but of course in a different way - dd is just learning the stories) and she doesn't understand any of it - yet is putting answers on paper and getting an 'A'. She couldn't tell me the meaning of basic literary terms and that is 50% of what she needs to answer. It's very odd honestly. Oh, and our school system is rated as one of the best in the state, so it's not like the school is "under-qualified." With 1st grade so much can be done in coloring etc. Check with your state to see what you are required to do. In VA we only have to test each year - no biggie - especially since I can administer the test at home. Start looking for playgroups in the area. We have ones close by on Fridays we try to attend just to get the kids out to play with other kids. Things like that. That gives them enough socializing along with 4-H clubs which meet 1x per month and other church stuff we go to occassionally. With more than 1 - they will learn to appreciate the other family members which is a HUGE thing for me to want for my kids. The hardest thing for me personally to remember is that they aren't going to be geniuses. Nope - I can read all the "homeschool genius" articles I want to - but that won't be my kids they are talking about. Smart, yes, but I believe all kids are smart - they just don't get the time to show it.
Welcome! Just know that whatever decision you make you will experience the good and bad of it. lol. Just make the best decision for YOUR family and the kinks will work out over time. 1. I have extended family but none that help out with homeschooling. I also have 4 kids ages 11, 9, 4 and 1. Sometimes things are overwhelming but with a schedule and a plan things work out great. I just try not to be too hard on myself if the school day seems to last forever because life gets in the way or we have to make up for something on another day. 2. Transitions are never easy. Your kids will miss school. That is normal and it does not mean you failed or homeschooling is the wrong decision. Keep in mind though that homeschooling does mean you will be busy busy. YOu also don't have to stay home...in fact, I encourage all to get out as much as possible for everyone's sanity. 3. My son who's 5 is delayed in motor skills (which is the reason I put him in Montessori). I'm concerned that I'll not be able to help him as well as a trained teacher. 4. Time commitment...well..there's the school day and there is planning for the year. You will use alot of your time. Homeschooling is a full time job. YET, the more you plan ahead and put the time in on the front end the quicker and smoother you days will go. A school day can be anywhere from 2 hours to 6 hours depending. I am a Charlotte Mason fan so classes around here are never more than 20-30 minutes long until junior high. Kindergarden is more like 15-20 minutes. Sounds short but you woudl be surprised how much you can get done and how much your children retain. My 11 and 9 year old share much of the school day. They have the same copywork, narration, spelling, history, and science assignments. All the kids have the same natural science assignments...just on different levels. My 4 year old does a K program that only takes a few hours a day. My one year is just bumbling around playing with all the fun school stuff and crayons. If I have to instruct one child, the others are doing something independently OR an older child is helping a younger one while teach. We can be completely done with school in 4 hours if we are moving along. Special projects extend the day. 5. You need to know your child's learning style and conform your teaching style to it. Eventually, a child will learn how to learn from different styles...but in the beginning gear up to teach according to learning style. This will also help you choose a curriculum. You can cross tons of stuff just knowing what will work for you. However, trial and error is the name of the game. I've been homeschooling for 6 years and we still switch curriculums and adjust sometimes during the year. In fact, I just did! lol. Be patient with yourself. YOu are NOT failing if something does not work. Maybe you can implement things he is doing in school at home to make the transisiton easier. Montesorri is great for young kids...so study that a bit.
Hi KaC, I thought I'd answer your questions this way. 1. Most people I know who homeschool have help from extended family. I have none. Do many of you manage it successfully on your own with several children? Even with my 3yr old in preschool 2 mornings a week, and my son in montessori kindergarten 4 afternoons a week, I feel like I just can't keep up! I have one sister. She lives 1/2 an hour from me and I see her maybe 2 times a year. I do only have one child. One of hubby's sister in laws writes to ds son an he writes back like a penpal. They live in Co. But that is the only extended family contact to do with homeschooling. If I start running on empty I call a day off. Mom needs to recharge her batteries sometimes. I don't feel guilty at all.\ 2. I sort of feel like I've set my kids up for disliking homeschooling as they've done preschool, and enjoy the social time. All through summer "what are we going to do today" rang through the house. They want to be out... busy. I'm worried I'll get started homeschooling, only to have them really dislike it. Then they'd be worse off heading to school later. Ds son has been hs'd from the beginning. He gets his social time at church, grocery and feed store, and with mom and dad on special "date with parent" days. He was told from the start hsing would be the only option. So he has never really made a fuss except that he wanted to ride a school bus. That was minor. 3. My son who's 5 is delayed in motor skills (which is the reason I put him in Montessori). I'm concerned that I'll not be able to help him as well as a trained teacher. Having a child with physical or mental limitations is not an issue with hsing. You'll find that you can adapt to your child's needs far better than ps. Whether that's slowing or changing curriculum, or finding alternative ways of do certain school activities like writing or reading. You as a parent will be able to see the need for altering or changing faster and more accurately than a teacher in the classroom with 20 other little ones. There are lots of moms and dads on here with special kids who could help you with specific issues related to handicaps or delays. 4. I'd like an idea of about the time commitment involved, if anyone could comment on that. Also, for those of you with several young children, I'd love to hear a bit about what life looks like in your family. My son is autistic so time commitment is usually 24/7. However, actual sit at a table or desk school work takes about 2 hours depending on how distracted ds is. How life looks in our family? I'd need a lot more room than I have here. 5. Please share your best tips on getting started. Although my son is attending school, I'm sort of thinking that I might just get started with trying homeschooling at the same time. Just in case I find I'm lousy at it! Read, read ,read to your children, even if you think its something far to advanced for them to understand. You would be suprised at what they remember. You don't have to have any special curriculum, equipment (other than maybe adaptive tools for your special little guy), or fancy gizmoes. Books are the best, and you get to spend time reading to them. Plus you can always ask questions about what you just read to them to see what they have learned. Thanks in advance! I know that was wrong. I'm really wrestling with this decision.[/QUOTE] Hope that helps. Marty
yes...books! Have lots of books! Even my preacher was just remarking on how important it is to read good solid books. I'm a CM fanatic so I love encouraging living books.
Thanks so much for the time you put into your reply! From the sounds of how dedicated you are, your daughter is very blessed You asked what kids of training I feel lacking in as far as his motor skills go. I guess most of my concern is that I won't know the right exercises to do with him to help him improve, but not get frustrated. Plus I'd figure a trained eye could see problems that I don't as far as his development. The child development centre here stops working with kids when they turn 5, beyond that it's the school's responsibility and they get professional help as needed. I don't know how that works with homeschooling, but I'll look into it. I do suspect that to some degree, he'll just grow out of his difficulties. I guess I'm just a bit insecure in that area, but if I did some reading on it, I think I could handle it. The amount of time and breadth of subjects you teach your 5yr old astounds me. To get my son to concentrate on schoolwork for that length of time would be really really hard, even if I could find ways to make it exciting. But I guess it's all in how you do it, and I just don't quite know how yet! At the moment, the only thing I absolutely make time for everyday to teach my kids is some bible stories, and that's max 30mins! Then again, I aslo spend nearly hour in transit 4 times a week carting him to and from kindergarten, so when I consider that being out of my day it seems somewhat more manageable. Thanks for your reply!
Thank you so much for the reply and the welcome! Regarding your response to point 2, there are quite a few reasons I want to homeschool, but it's actually less for educational reasons, although I do want them to get a good education of course. A big part of the reason is because I want to raise my own kids, so they can learn my own values and beliefs without feeling like I'm competing against the influences that are inescapable by sending them off to school for so many hours in a day. I don't like the influences that my son has already picked up from other kids. He's sensitive, and somewhat of a follower, and he's trying hard to please other kids by doing things that aren't in his sweet character. The idea of my kids missing prom and whatever else in highschool doesn't bother me at all... thinking back to my own high school experience, I mixed with the wrong crowd, and am amazed that I came out as unscathed as I did. But on the otherhand, with homeschooling, I'm not sure that I can track down enough friends for my son to play with that he would feel satisfied. Thanks again, and I will do a search for mommy time!
Thanks for the response! I bet you were terrified pulling your kids out at higher ages! That is certainly one of the reasons I thought I'd try when they are younger - I don't think I'll have the nerve to do it as move up. Obviously struggling with that now even. But you're right, it is a great age to start. And it sure would be nice if they continue to appreciate each other as friends rather than the dynamics I remember with my brothers where they were embarrassed to play with their little sister when friends came about. A good friendship between siblings I guess often only develops in adulthood when they're in the school system and away from eachother so much. Hadn't thought of that so thanks for bringing it up! I did some checking into playgroups for homeschoolers in the area. Haven't found much yet, but I will keep hunting!
Thanks for your input! Very helpful. Thanks for pointing out that even if they miss school, homeschooling isn't the wrong decision. It's been a point coming across in many posts, and it's probably saved me from a future meltdown when this does happen! Right now my son is saying he doesn't like going to Montessori school, so I've been taking that as I've made the wrong choice for him, which is rash on my part (even though I'm considering homeschooling for other reasons as well). I've done quite a bit of research on Montessori, and am convinced that it is a good learning method. One of the reasons I chose it as well was because I thought that if he did stay in it a few years, the independant learning style the develop would transition well to homeschooling later on. It's just that later is looking sooner now Good idea to bring some of those methods home though. I'd not really considered that. Nice to hear that the time it can take for kindergarten can be so short! I can easily manage that amount of time, and more, as I spend more time than that communting to get my son to school. As the kids get older, more time will be easier for me to put in. Is there anything you recommend for getting to know your child's learning style? I hadn't really thought much about how he learns. Many thanks!
Hope that helps. Marty[/QUOTE] Quite helpful, thanks. I've got a really good stack of books, some of which I had put away till they were older as I did think they were above them. I guess I shouldn't presume! Nice to hear you don't feel guilty if you take a day off from schooling when you need it! I like to hear that, because my immediate thought is, "of course you shouldn't feel guilty", but were it myself, I probably would! So it's a good thing to expect in advance so I just know that's the reality of homeschooling. THanks for your help!
1. I have a decent amount of family nearby. They're supportive, but I wouldn't say we get a lot help from them. Sometimes, in fact, they have a negetive effect on our schooling - expecting me to anser the phone & talk as long as they want whenever they call, expecting us to skip schooling for the day so we can go visit them or so they can can come visit us, asking me to do things for them because they don't realize how much of my time is dedicated to my kids' education, etc. 2. My dd went to preschool, then to public school Kindergarten. Others have had their kids in public or private school for even longer; some don't start homeschooling until high school years. Each child will adjust at their own pace. 3. Many homeschoolers have special needs kids ranging from minor issues like delayed development to severe Autism to gifted kids to attention disorders. Most of us don't have special training or degrees in special education. We know our kids & what works for them. We research and get professional help when needed. My kids are both gifted, both have severe combination-type ADHD, and my oldest also has Bipolar. I've done tons of research on educating gifted kids, tons of research on ADHD (plus my personal experiences, since I also have it), and tons of research on Juvenile-Onset Bipolar. You can do research to find out what to do to help with his delays. I would start by asking the teachers or therapists working with him at school now. 4. The time spent on school is different for each of us. It will depend on the style of homeschooling you choose, how much independant work your kids can do, even the materials you choose. I focus on how much they get done each day, instead of how long they work each day. Some set specific times for each subject & whatever gets done in that time is what gets done for hte day. Some do both, having them work for a certain amount of time on each subject & finish whatever doesn't get done in that time as homework. Each family has to choose this on their own. How much time you'll spend with preparation & planning will depend on the method & materials you use. Some curriculum providers have everything planned out for you, others just give you basic guidelines to follow. Some methods require more prep & planning than others. I have info on my site about getting started, choosing curriculum, descriptions of homeschool methods, and more. I hope this helps.
