hi! everyone, hope everyone is doing well. my dds(10, 8) are very slow moving kids. most of the time i need to used timer along with nagging - for them to get moving....is it because i'm impatient? any tips, anyone? greatly appreciate. good health and happiness.
I tell my kids when we are leaving, and that's when we leave. If they aren't ready, they go as they are. Same things with meals, they have about 30 minutes to eat breakfast (which is plenty of time). If they don't eat or finish, they go without until lunch. My kids are 8 and under. My advice would be to stop nagging and setting a timer. Tell them when they are to be done. And keep your word.
Hmm advice would depend I think. Are they slow with school work or life in general? I think realizing that kids see time completely differently as compared to adults makes a difference as well. We see schedules and they see a minute as an hour. Dragging feet is normal. I would maybe have a refresher course on time with them. And then set the timer for them to see what different lengths of time are. The old adage that time flies when you having fun is a good experiment. Take five minutes of fun compare it with five minutes of something they dislike. Ask them if they noticed that each were the same length of time. Other then that 'crack the whip' ;P I like to say old military things like 'step lively' 'hup two three four' etc
have you tried doing things to music? Let's see if we can get the whole room picked up by the end of this song...ready set go! Or you can give both of them an equal amount of work and tell them..if we get done by x o clock we will have ice cream. If you get done ten minutes before that, you get an extra scoop. If you get done 20 minutes before you can have sprinkles on top. All of a sudden they have a goal to work toward.
My one DS is incredibly slow eating, getting dressed, getting buckles on in the van. Timers help, but he is really easily distracted. I think he'sjust like that. I try to give reminders, but the ball needs to be in his court or he'll just wait for the next reminder! He'd rather skip dinner than eat more than 2 or 3 bites, so he gets 20 min past when we are finished. If he's not done, he goes to bed. Once every couple months, he still has to go to bed. For P.J's at bed time they get ready and we read a story together. If it takes him more than 5 min past when the others are ready, then we start without him. He has had to walk to the van in the rain with no shoes on before. (haven't tried that on a nice day or he'd do it on purpose!) My big one is buckles in the van! We can't leave until he's done, and it's difficult for me to come do his buckle and get the two little ones in at the same time. So that becomes quite a friction point for us. The only strategy that has really worked for us is to try and work it so that "natural consequences" are his motivation. My nagging only seems to make it work. I try to just give a couple of gentle reminders, otherwise he becomes totally dependant on my reminding. And I get totally frustrated!! Hope you find an answer for your girls!
thanks everyone. i have not try the time demonstration mentioned in above post so i will try that one. especially i do agree, their sense of time is not same as ours, adults. i consider myself the type of mom who does what she said which all my dds are very much aware of that. also i have been known in my neighborhood as a very strict mom because my girls have gone to school in their PJs, even in no shoes one time only because the school was very upset that i did that. they experienced going to sleep with none or very little food in their tummy which now they improve to 30minutes eating time from 1-2 hours, before. they have lost story time, missed out free time activities, no desert, or with motivation like they beat the timer then earn a quarter. if no need of reminder to do the task get a quarter, also. so i can consider myself have tried good amount of strategies here. is it normal part of parenting in this way or am i missing something? my parents didn't use timer nor do we get any rewards for doing what we're suppose to do daily? yes. get reminded what to do when we were in their age. i often feel like i'm training animals with the way i'm doing with it. yes. almost all the time holding the whip - lol. also when i see them not responding to timer being on or to my nagging, it get me yelling. not sure about others, but these yelling and fustration get the best out of me for that day. for this very reason, i see double the trouble when time comes for our hsing journey in FALL. AND the dd4 one starting to follow the two older one now - help! i do know that they have lay-back personality which opposite from me - yes. make it more of the problem. grrrrr! but in everything, they do???how to get myself to be more patient if you think that's what missing here? thanks in advance, everyone. good health and happiness.
lol Deep breath in Yes having kids can seem like training animals. Guess what that's what we are. Just animals with reason and understanding. So that said realizing they may have a different personality type is good too. And yes that would create frustration on your part. But that too is normal. All of what you said is pretty sound parenting although I am not sure about sending kids to school in pj's. But I am sure it got the point across. Kids live in their own worlds half the time. Remember being a kids? Do you remember thinking gee Mom needs a break? Or I should hurry up with my game so I can get to this lesson? No those aren't generally thoughts of kids. So it's ok it will be trying to homeschool but consistency in your rules is mandatory if you want order. And even then it will be a struggle to get things done maybe. I had a list of four rules on our homeschool wall, ones that were important to me keeping sanity. And surprisingly after a few reminders the kids remembered and the rules were no longer in need of posting. One rule that I made up for them was that they could have hug breaks when needed They use that alot lol. Oh its time for math and suddenly DD says "Mom I neeeeeeeeeed a huuuuuuuuuug.' lol
lol! talk about deep breath. they're my favorite two words nowsaday for them and me. maybe i'm just in the mode of doubting about myself in parenting and my decision on hsing..... i felt like sometime they're in this mommy bootcamp. what kind of childhood is that? but at the same time, wasting time or dragging time to get thing done and end up no time left to do what they really want to seems so fustrating.... northernmomma - thank you for putting a smile on my face and telling me i'm not off the course here. if possible every now and then remind me to take a deep breath, ok? lol. i'm sure going to need this remind more when comes FALL. good health and happiness.
