We were at a meeting and the lady in front of us proceeded to remove her hoodie not even bothering to make sure the t-shirt underneath stayed down. As she pulled it off, her dirty sports bra showed, clear to her shoulders! Looked as though she was undressing in front of everyone. My dh and boys saw the impending disaster and embarrassing moment and turned away with a giggle. :lol: Poor lady, she really needed to wash that sports bra, it was dirty! I almost lost it, I wanted to LOL!
Oh Katie.. I would have laughed. But also there is a difference in an unattractive (and dirty) sportsbra and it ACCIDENTLY showing and a girl who wears Victoria Secrets best pushup bra and the lowest cut tank she could get her hands on because she wants the guys to gawk.
But here's the reality of it. Business travelers are alone in a room. If they choose to watch a movie (which is made as easy as possible), the real title does not appear on the bill. Rationally, we can say "you aren't even bothered", which is true; however, it's like any temptation, especially when you think no one knows. I can tell you it's an epidemic among businessmen - and some women. And it's not just at dive hotels. I've traveled rather a lot and stay at high-end business hotels, and the phenomenon is pretty much universal. I'm guessing that hotels make a fortune from these movie options. Years ago, I led a project in Texas and had several people working for me on site. We all stayed at the same hotel, and I paid all the bills. 80% watched a movie. For whatever reason, the titles of movies they watched appeared on the bill. All but one watched an adult movie - and not only the men. What we do when we are alone and no one is watching defines the person. Again, I once stayed at a large hotel in another city and turned on the TV to watch the news (at home I never watch TV, but I do watch the news when traveling). The TV went through a strange power-up sequence and, on the screen, I could see which movies were available and which ones hotel guests were watching. It was shocking: Almost every guest was watching an adult movie (and we're talking mostly of business executives staying at an expensive hotel). On another occasion, I flew a European CEO to France to speak with me jointly at a conference. When I paid his bill, there were many line items for movies. I agree with Ravi Zacarias on this one: There's a special place in hell for those who make and propagate such material. Carrying the principle back to the example quoted in this thread, those who dress in a way that tempts others are very much responsible for their actions. These are not separate problems, just different degrees of the same problem.
It was hilarious! My dh said, "Did that embarrass you because she is the same species"? :roll: The poor thing should have made an effort to make sure nothing was going to show considering she was in the front row. Poor thing! And she really needed to retire that sports bra or wash it.
When I said 'bothered', I meant you can't even get to the adult stuff without searching for and ordering it. It's not 'available' to you unless you pay for it.
Sadly, hotels around the world are making it easier and easier. In most hotels today, the default channel is a 'welcome' channel that dwells on some movie options more than others. Once the picture is there on the screen, the whole sordid sequence begins. Honestly, after a long day working and then eating alone, it does take real mental discipline for a man to turn off the TV. Even browsing through channels can be problematic, with Showtime and HBO and others showing increasingly extreme shows. In some hotels I visit often, I now dial in the channel number to get to the news so I don't have to browse through. In other countries, it's an even bigger problem. In Iceland, for example, I was pretty much forced to keep the TV off altogether. More than one pastor has told me how he disables movies before staying at a hotel, so they won't be tempted. Others do what they can to keep themselves accountable when browsing the Internet. I try to follow their example. Men are wired differently from women, and images can cause an immediate reaction, so we have to act quickly to escape from them. This is why I can relate to the OP's story, and why it's so important for men to "turn off" any image immediately. I've seen and heard too many Christian men "own up" to their failings, so we can't brush the topic under the carpet. News items related to well-known church leaders ought to be enough to keep men on their guard against this problem, because no man is immune. By the way, I mention this not only because it relates to the original message but because it's essential that fathers relay this message to their sons. It's not a pretty topic, but it's one that should not be avoided. Learning how to cope with such situations should be part of a young man's education. Thank goodness for the example of some of the husbands mentioned in this thread. Personal example is probably the most powerful lesson of all.
There are porno images all the time even if you try not to look. It's very sad. Although anything that tempts the mind can be harmful. I know a boy who would hide women's underwear ads because he found them erotic. That's all a man needs anyway..I mean seriously, would you allow your son to look at your neighbor if she walked out in her underwear or you? (well..me...since I carry an extra 20 lbs I'd be more afraid of making my son gay then anything else...LOL) Hey, Steve...did you ever read Jesus Among Other Gods by Ravi Zacarias?
No, I haven't, Ava, although I do have another of his books on a shelf, part of my upcoming reading list. I had the pleasure of listening to Mr. Zacarias when he visited the Atlanta area a while back. There are few speakers today with the mental fortitude, breadth of knowledge, and strength of faith able to stand up to raging atheists such as Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens, but he is certainly one of them. We live in challenging times.
Just a heads up.. not all of us here are Christian and some may take offense to the term "raging athiests". I'm not so sure I'm an athiest but I'm sure I'm not Christian. ETA.. At least in most peoples ideas of what a Christian is anyway.
well I didn't have time to read all the post but I will tell you one thing my DH aunt who lived to be almost 102 told me one time. they are human and there hearts are beating, you will miss that wonderful beating heart when its gone. Looking doesn't hurt a fly, it's touching that does, so as long as he is looking you know he is alive and well and comes home to you and sleeps with you, don't let something that small mess your marriage up. there is more important things in life and your marrriage that need your attention. Just give me lots of ((((((((HUGS))))))) show him he is important and don't let me know it bothers you or he will keep doing it. I have done this and it works. She was right there is more important things in a marraige then him look at someone else. Sommer, just hang in there and every now and then when the kids aren't around pull up your blouse and flash him a time or two... and let him see those girls...
Oh Kris you are so awesome.. you know I love ya You know better than anyone here that something like this would never be a wedge in our marriage... and honestly most of the time such things don't bother me. I think what made this incident soooo frustrating to me was that there I was in a crowded restraunt with a screaming newborn, and there he is gawking instead of helping me to hurry the other kids (and himself) along so we could give the poor diners ears a break.
Kris, IMHO gawking isn't just looking. Gawking is a definite verb! He didn't just glance and look away, he dwelled on it, to the extent of ignoring his family for the moment or two or three, whatever it was. I also don't like the idea that men are known to do that, so it's the woman's fault for dressing that way! Men have used that as defense in rape trials! That's sooo not right!!! I agree, women should NOT dress like that, BUT, I also feel that men need to learn control, and don't HAVE to react just because it's there! There are things that both men and women need to learn to control!
