My oldest son hasn't gone to school this whole week. He absolutely refuses to go!! I cannot drag him out of the car on make him get on the bus, he's 5'8, 154 lbs for crying out loud!! HATES school, always has. I'm trying to hang on until the end of the school year, only 3 more weeks, but I don't know what to do. I feel like I should just go ahead and sign him out of ps. My dh isn't real "up" on the idea of hs, he was raised old school, and thinks he should pretty much, suck it up and deal with the problems (bullying, teasing.....ect). This is a sore spot with him. I know what I NEED to do, it's just getting the dh to trust me on it. Do I need to just sign him out of ps? Go to the school, or mail them the withdrawal letter? I'm so frusturated I don't know what to do. I'm wanting to do this in the morning, turn his stuff in , and sign him out, can I do that? I honestly just don't want to deal with ps anymore. I had to transfer my 2 boys after christmas break due to a 4 year battle with the school (where they've gone their whole life), over a bullying issue with my oldest one. And now they've been in this school (30 miles from home :cry: ) since Christmas and it's not any better. Same issues, different school. I just need some reassurance I guess .
How old is he? This close to the end of the year, I'd probably advise to stick it out at least until the school year is done. I see you're in Texas. If you (and he, and dh) decide to pull out before then, you're good as far as laws, etc go. No need to prove anything or do anything except notify in writing that you're pulling him to homeschool. NOTHING beyond that. Is there a chance that when you get him home and try to "homeschool" that he will simply refuse that as well? Is there something deeper going on? FYI: most of us recommend a period of "deschooling" once a child leaves the public school system and before they begin any formal homeschooling work. A good measurement is to take off one week for every year they've been in the system. FWIW. WOW! Congrats to you for seeing a need and considering it. Personally, I'd have him stick it out over the summer, give it a few weeks, and try a unit study. That might give your dh time to get used to the idea, you time to do some research, and dc to get used to the idea of mom as teacher. Might give it a test run for.. a semester, or a year, or whatever you deem appropriate, and threaten to send him back if he's uncooperative and unwilling to do what's needed. BUT, it sounds like behavior is not the issue, and that there are outside forces causing the revolt. Good luck and God bless!! You've come to the right place! Welcome!
I think I would make him keep going. Chances are he wouldn't do the 3 wks left in HS. I know it would be hard for me to buy something for only 3 wks as well.
No, I'd pull him now. It's not worth the fight. Maybe the school would let you use their books for the last three weeks.
I am not all wise and just starting out. But I would talk to the school and see if you could use their books for the rest of the year. Then pull him out. It is terrible to have to go to school when you hate it.
Well, if he refuses to go and you cannot make him then you will have a real problem of truancy on your hands if you do not sign him out or whatever is legal in your state. Would you want to continue to go and spend 7 hours with people that bullied you? I think he is sending a pretty strong message right now - pull him. Someone else mentioned getting the school to allow your son to be on independent study for the remainder of the school year. That sounds like it is worth a try if remaining bound to the school is important for these next few weeks. -Cheryl dd-14(school of the arts) homeschooling ds-12 and ds-11
My husband sounds like yours a little bit. I did have my kids finish the year - but in some ways I wish I didn't. If you only have 3 weeks left note that 1 week will probably be the kids helping the teachers clean up (at least it was in our school - my kids came home with so much *rap!!) What grade is he in? Does he have finals to take? I only say that because if he is in High School, you might want him to get the credits for the classes he took. It has taken us 1 full year to "figure" each other out in this house and how hs'ing will work. So take it easy when you start. We did LifePacs - which actually worked well for us because of the ease of use for the 1st year.
Unless they're in high school, with the issues going on, I'd bring them both home. If he's in high school though, I'd make him tough it out to get the credits for his transcript (the only time a transcript or report card is important or if he's in middle school working in a high school level course like Algebra). Honestly, the only thing done in the last month of school is major review before exams and in elementary school...there aren't even final exams. Of course, you're in TX so I'm sure they have some sort of year end benchmark (a Army friend in TX is always stressing over some testing for her 1st & 2nd graders). The rest of his 3 weeks are "fun" stuff and clean-up. Let him have "fun" at home. Even if all he does is read books and review some math at home for the next few weeks, his overall attitude will probably soar compared to now. Best wishes deciding what will work best.
I am so sorry you've had such an ordeal. Plus, with the price of gas, I'm sure a school 30 miles away isn't great for your budget if you have to drive them. Is he doing his work for school and just doesn't want to go? I would agree that you should make sure there's not an underlying issue that will cause him to refuse to work at home. If it's truly a bulling issue and not a lack of initiative issue, he will probably work much better at home. Summer will be a great time for a trial because if he is really against going to school, but not against the work, he will be willing to work HARD over the summer (when all his friends are goofing off) if he is assured that homeschool will be an option if you see results and effort.
VERY long......sorry *grin* DaLynn.....I was up so late due to the worries of what to do LOL... My son is 14, in 8th grade, he doesn't have finals to take or anything else, the TAKS are all done with.....which btw, he failed all 3.....Reading, Math &Science. I just don't see him ever finishing school in ps. Funny thing is....he gets his tests modified, he's "Learning Disabled" or so they say, and he still fails. HMMM I also have a son in 12 and in5th grade, who, guess what......is labeled Learning Disabled as well LOL. What's the odds? He doesn't have as many difficulties as the oldest one does, but he feels "retarded"....now, did I make him feel that way? Did I plant that seed in his head?? NO I did not, the school system, and the way other kids see him did that. Because he's in special (or as he calls them"mental" )classes. The low self-esteem my boys suffer, are not from home, they've all been from children at school, and teachers as well. Sad Sad Sad. I'm withdrawing both boys this afternoon, with some reluctance from dh, but as I told him, I'm the one that has to deal with all the issues, I'm at all the meeting, I'm the one the teachers look at when things are not done in a certain manner. So, he's seeing that I'm out of options, and I only want to do things that are going to help, not hurt. Because ps is not the answer for us anymore. The battle is NOT worth it. I know my sister tried to hs her son a few years ago, and it didn't work so well, he ended up back in ps. But the difference is that she didn't put in the time needed for it, and my grandmother ended taking over as best she could. It takes effort, that I'm willing to put in. Not just letting them stay home so it's easier for everyone. But having them home to learn, and build self-esteem, and to restore some morals and values that my oldest has seemed to have lost somewhere along the way. Basically, the "socialization" that he has had so far, I wouldn't give you a nickel for!! So, wish me luck, I'm calling the school shortly to notify them that I'll be withdrawing the boys. It will be at least a year commitment, and that's what I told the boys. I'm not going to flip-flop back and forth. It's 3 weeks until the end of the year, they're doing field trips and stuff, nothing serious.:?: I'm going to do some "curriculum" searching and see what I come up with. Thing is.....the boys are on all different learing levels. Youngest one is 5th grade but only on 4th grade level in some areas, oldest is 8th grade, but on different levels in different subjects. So, this should turn out to be very interesting. LOL It may take me the whole summer to come up with something. How do you figure out what level they're capable of before buying something that they can't do, or buying something that's too easy? Thanks for all the input and support, I'm so thankful that someone out there understands me.......which is not an easy feat LOL
I'm agreeing---there's no sense sending him there to be bullied, even if it IS for only 3 weeks! I'm not sure where your dh is standing on whether to allow him to be home at this time. I'd try to sit down with dh and explain how the bullying is hurting your son and that he is having such a hard time. Long-term homeschooling is anothe issue. What does your son think about it? If he wants to try homeschooling, then I'd try to explain it all to dh as well. Ask him for a trial period of 1 year to see what can be accomplished at home. If you DO decide to homeschool, we will be here, and will be more than happy to help!!!
OK, we posted at the sme time! First, as DaLynn said, you need to deschool! Let them clear their brains for awhile. Do some fun things! When you start back up, don't do school at home! Start out slow. Find something they like to do and start with that. Build up their confidence level! In fact, it wouldn't hurt to find something that's fairly easy, but not babyish, to also help build their confidence! Then work up from there. When they're more confident with that one thing, add another thing. Just do things slowly and carefully. Throw out any idea that you HAVE to do this or that cuz if they were in school they would be doing it! Our attitude right now needs to be WHO CARES what they're doing in school!!! Right now you have a job to do. That is to build up the confidence of your sons. Build up their self-esteem. Let them know they're NOT stupid or "mental". Let them know you think they're wonderful! You know best how to do that because they're your sons. What I'm really saying is to be encouraging and supportive and don't push them past their limits right now! I'm so sorry this has happened to your sons! I know that things can change around. You have the determination, so GO FOR IT! Any other questions, please let us know! There's a LOT available on line. THere are placement tests for many math programs to see what level to start at. Oh, and that's another thing, I have always called the things they use "LEVELS", not grades. My kids are often at different levels. My 8th grader was doing level 6 English/Grammar this year. He didn't care, because he knew that's the level he needed to work at to truly understand, and to build a strong base to grow from! If they can look at it that way, it'll be easier for them to just work at whatever level they're at and grow from there. Maybe this summer, as you de-tox them from the ps mindset, you could take them to museums, the zoo, and places like that, that would be fun, yet also educational! OK, I'll stop already!
Here are a couple of books that helped us a LOT when we started thinking about homeschooling... Mary Pride's Complete Guide to Getting Started in Homeschooling: http://www.home-school.com/catalog/pages/mpguide.php3 We checked this out of the library and it was fantastic! It starts at the very beginning - why people homeschool, what homeschooling "looks" like, which kinds of kids (and moms!) do best with which kinds of curriculum, etc etc.. If you can't find it at your library with this title, look for The Big Book of Home Learning, Volume 1. It's the older edition of the same book. Mary Pride also has a website: http://www.home-school.com/ I haven't hung out a lot on the website, so I don't know if it is as helpful as her book. Cathy Duffy wrote 100 Top Picks For Homeschool Curriculum: Choosing The Right Curriculum And Approach For Your Child's Learning Style. We bought it at a Half-Price Books, but you could check at your library for it, too. It goes through a long list of curricula and discusses the strengths and weaknesses of each of them. There are SO many curricula out there, and sorting them out gets very confusing and overwhelming! She talks about whole "box" curriculum programs, which include practically everything you need for the whole year; as well as individual products (different math curricula, or language arts, or whatever), so it's helpful whether you want to go with just one company's stuff or mix and match. I think most people mix and match to some degree. Cathy Duffy also has a website: http://www.cathyduffyreviews.com/ I hope that helps!!
Wow, Deena Thanks so much for the encouragement. It just hit me, Im' sitting here today, thinking I should be making him do SOMETHING, because he's going to fall behind LOL. It's all a mental thing I guess. I'm thinking, he can't just sit here and do nothing all day, what's that teaching him?? Sheesh....It's beautiful outside, I'm thinking we're going to go to the flower shop, and get some plants See where our conversation takes us today.
That is a perfect idea! These ladies gave you some great advice already, so I'll just welcome you to the Spot!
Good for you! Now - as someone who's son would come home every day and tell me he was "stupid" because the kids called him that... I can and will tell you it takes awhile to get out of that mind set! Now - we went ALL THE WAY BACK to 3rd grade Language for him (technically in 6th grade) because he had no idea what a noun was. We whizzed through that stuff and finished out 4th and most of 5th throughout the school year. Take your time (I wished I listened to myself last year!)..... you won't get everythign perfect all at once no matter how much you read. For the summer - we took 1 month off and then started with 1 subject per day. That was only 1 hour and then we would add another subject after they got in that habit. Worked well for us - and yet we are still some days de-schooling both of them. Good luck!!
Wow, your first post sounds like my dd BUT she is alot smaller in size! We fought with her from kindy on up. Her older sister would have to physically restrain her to keep her on the bus. We could never get a reason out of her other than the fact that she wanted to be home with me. If I had known then that hsing was an option, I would have done it years ago. At the beginning of last school year (6th grade) she wrote me a note and asked me if she could hs as I was already hsing my 16 yr old dd. Well, my dh reluctantly agreed and we fudged our way through last year. Around April, my dh decided that this was not something we should be doing and that she had to go back to ps for this year. She tried so hard to make it work this past fall but by Christmas time we knew that it just wasn't working. My dh finally realized that she was better off hsing and we started back in Jan. In some ways it felt like we were just starting all over again! The thing is, I felt more comfortable "going with the flow" this time around. I honestly can say that the support I get from the ladies here makes all the difference in the world. They will laugh with you, cry with you, and be a shoulder to lean on whether it is a hsing problem or just a life problem in general.
Sorry you are having troubles. We use Abeka and Abeka Academy for high school. Here is a link to their Scope and Sequence which tells you what is covered so you have an idea of the level in which your dc are learning compared to Abeka.. They also have book shows where you can attend and check out the books first hand. My ds' graduated from high school yesterday! We've been homeschooling for 13 years, since K. http://www.abeka.com/Resources/PDFs/ScopeAndSequence.pdf
It's a done deal Well, it's a done deal. I will be turning in my boys school stuff this afternoon. I spoke with the principal, who is very nice, and "homeschool friendly" LOL. He said that he is not against homeschooling, if one way is not working, then trying another way may be best. WHEW!! So, with that being said......I bawled my eyes out for about 30 minutes. Sad, happy, relieved, scared....It's the unknown. But, now, I'm thinking........and thinking.....and thinking. I won't know how to act come Monday morning, and there will be no fights, no tears, and no stress due to my ds not wanting to go. That chapter in his life, and mine is closed, now on to bigger and better things.
