My husband just had a vasectomy reversal in May. They told us it could take up to a year. It took us four yrs to save for the surgery so I guess I am over anxious and starting to feel the old bio clock ticking. I dont think we'll have any baby news this month either. Although I am not due for a few more days I am very crampy tonight. If we are not blessed with a child of our own I think we will adopt again. We have seven wonderful kids. Three from his previous marriage, three from mine and we have already adopted one together. We actually have adopted each others children too so they are all "ours". Would you ever consider adoption Moondancer? Thats an incredible thing your sister is willing to do.
I'd love to adopt. My little brother, 2 years old, was adopted from Guatemala 18months ago. I think it's one of the greatest things in the world that you can do.
In a general sense, what is the cost of adoption? Friends from church have grandchildren adopted from, I think, Vietnam or Taiwan. Another family we know went to Maine to adopt a baby. There was a wait before they could take the baby over state lines to bring it home.
My brother and sister in law are in the process of adopting a baby girl from China. The final cost will be up close to $25,000. My adoption was only lawyer fees. This particular mother knew us and came to us and asked if we would adopt.
I was reading the last few posts with great interest. We had a thread not long ago about fertility and vasectomy reversals and so forth. My husband had a vasectomy a few weeks after dd was born (you know, we had a boy and a girl and it's just silly to have more than two kids these days :roll: ). Well, now we know how stupid we were and we've been praying for the Lord to honor our repentence in this area and miraculously give us more children. We have talked about usuing the $ from tax returns to have at least one side of the vasectomy reversed, but we'll see if we are needing to pay off some debt first. I was curious about adoption costs when you go through public adoption. And Crystal, we had a mother come to us wanting to give her child up, too--she didn't offer the baby to us directly, but she is in my small group and was aware we had been praying for a child. It took all the strength I had to councel her through her situation. She decided to keep the baby and it was born yesterday, on my mom's birthday. I know her troubles are temporary and in another year when she is done with college she would not feel like her situation is dire anymore. She has three other children already who had been watching mommy's tummy grow and it would've been extremely traumatic for the whole family if she would've gone through with the adoption. Is anyone familiar with this Proverb?: Proverbs 30:15-16.......There are three things that are never satisfied, yea, four things say not, It is enough: The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough. I thought that it was interesting that among death, drought, and fire, the barren womb is considered of the same devastating magnitude. My heart and thoughts (and prayers for those who covet them) are going out to so many on this forum who are having trouble becoming pregnant or carrying to term. Please let me know who all I can add to my list of people to pray for on this matter.
Now Crystal, that mother is the one who is still involved right? Isn't adoption difficult due to parental rights issues? I think someone said earlier it's easier to adopt abroad.
Brooke I wish I would have seen that thread on fertility and reversals. Your post was really nice. Thank you for sharing that verse with us. I want a baby so badly but I know it will be in His timing. I would very much appreciate your prayers on this matter. Thank you! Becky, Yes this is the little girl that we allow the mother to be involved. It was a hard decision, but one that we felt lead to do. It is by our choice NOT the legal system. There is nothing legally binding us to the bio mother. Just our word to her that we would involve her. We have set up "rules" and thus far she has respected us on them. Our little girl we adopted just turned 5. She knows she is adopted. I wanted her to know where she came from. I did it for her. I also respect her bio mother for her choice to do what is best for her daughter and to trust us with this precious gift. Its not a daily involvment. We are able to conduct a "normal" family life. Periodic visits that are set up in advance, usually at our home. Like I said, she - the mother, is very respectful of my husband and I.
I'm not sure of the cost in the states to adopt. In alot of cases it is easier to adopt from other countries. Which if we adopt will be how we have to go. DH is twice my age and adoption agencies here in the states frown upon that. Also I went through a really rough teenage rebellion and I'm afriad that would be held against us because some of it occured when I was 18. Course if you knew me then and saw me now you wouldn't believe I was the same person but most agencies don't look at how much you've grown and changed they just look at what your record says. My mother was 52 when her and her dh (34 at the time) adopted. At first they went to china but were turned down, after they had their referal and pics of the baby, because my mother has been married too many times. They ended up in Guatemala. They got a referal for a little girl, went to visit her, and then the mother changed her mind. Then they got a referal for Dakota and brought him home a few months later. I think all in all it cost them like $30 grand but that was including the China fiasco.
I know they have to be careful, but it seems like they want you to be Super Parent. Who of us is? What if you have the possibility to be a Super Parent, but you simply don't have the money it takes? It must take a lot of stamina to go through the process.
Yeah it takes alot of stamina, money, and emotional stability. It is a very long and difficult process and can at times be very heartbreaking. I remember how my mom reacted everytime they got bad news and it reminds me of how I feel every month when "the hag" shows up. But I also see how much joy is in her life now that they finally have my little brother. Honestly you'd never know that he is the youngest of my mom's 6 kids. You'd think him and I were her only kids.
Not all adoptions in the states even cost money. I have two friends that adopted a child or children out of the foster care system and it is free! They even recieved a supplemental income from it. It has to be done in your own state from what I understand. It is called the SWAN program. They have a website if you do a search on SWAN I bet it would come up. Although that may just be the name of the PA program. I will look into it. Like I said in an earlier post, my brother and wife are adopting from China. There was a very - I mean very small "something" on his record. The amount of paperwork that he now has to do is incredible and not fair to boot. They check you out with a fine tooth comb!! Any spot on your record will be investigated and followed up with more paperwork. When we adopted our little girl we had to have the home study done and all kinds of background cks on my husband and I. The child was already living with us. If something would have come up she would have gone to foster care. Becky - I forgot to say something about a question you had earlier about it being easier to adopt abroad. If you mean with the parents changing their mind, then yes. There are no parents involved when you do an international adoption. You are only dealing with the agencies. A case like mine, which I know is not common to just have someone ask you to raise their child. Once we filed the paperwork with our lawyer our little girl was safe with us. No one could come take her. Once we appear in front of the judge there will be no period of time for the mother to change her mind. Not in a case like ours where she willingly handed over her rights. It might be different in a "regular" adoption, but not ours. The bio mom lives out of state, so its not like she just shows up. But our daughter is a little older then a baby, she knows who her bio mom is. I didnt want her to think she abandoned her. We have all sat down together in a room with the entire family to discuss what was happening. I just think it was better for all parties involved to do it that way. We do call it an open adoption, but in the state of PA our lawyer said that do not do that. It is up to the adoptive parents what kind of involvment you give, if any to the bio parents. In a case like Brooke had I think she did the right thing. The mother had a temp. bad situation. I know that must have been hard, but right. My daughters bio mom's situation is not temp. It is a life long illness, sadly.
Afternoon ladies, Just wanted to jump in and say that depending on the country you may have issues with the birth parent. In China you don't have to worry about dealing with the birth parent but like I said earlier when my mom got her first referal from Guatemala they had gone over to visit with the baby, bought her a few things and left them with her, and were planning the trip to bring her home when her birth mother changed her mind. According to what we were told, her parents didn't know the child exsisted and told her that they would help her raise the baby so she decided to keep her. One thing about Guatemala is that they make the parents do a dna test to prove it is their child before the adoption can be completed so the parents still play a part in the adoption, unlike china, and can change their mind at any time up until they sign away their rights which can't be done till the test results come in. I'm not sure about other countries though.
I posted and it disappeared! Let's try again. Getting back to ADD- my son was medicated from 1st or 2nd grade until this school year. He's been out of school nearly two months, meds free. I see no ADD symptoms whatsoever. Nothing. Do any of you use the Instead cups for menstral protection? They seem like they would be difficult to use and unsanitary. When they first came out, CVS here was giving them away, and a cashier told me no one would take them.
Becky thats great about your son. :lol: Until Moondancer wrote about them I never even heard of them. I think I will ask my sister in law who is a OB/GYN nurse and get her input on them. Let me know if you find anything out about them.
I've seen them- I think the resemble an unrolled condom, only they are around the size of the palm of your hand. You squeeze the sides together, put them in and they are supposed to stasy there if you follow the directions. Once they are full you slide them back out and throw them away. I can't picture that being anything but a mess.
Becky that's great about your son. Mine has been off his meds all summer but then again he's been at grandma's so I haven't had to deal with it but I've been told that he's still bouncing off the walls no matter how busy they keep him. I've used the cups for my cycle before and I just don't like them. I think it's gross. Someone suggested buying latex gloves to wear when removing them then just leave the cup in the glove when you take it off. But I still don't like it for that. They do look big but I don't even feel them.
I was away for a couple days so that we could get moved into a new home and when I checked in last night, I laughed my head off to see this thread go from diets to condoms (interesting combination). :lol: I'll have to go back sometime and read through all the posts to see what got us here... Always something to be learned here. Leave it to us... never know where somethings going to go... :wink: Brenda
