We've been homeschooling for 3 years. I'm on and off this forum Right now I'm facing the onset of the tweens! I have a 9-year old. Her new thing is to argue whatever has been written. If the page says "people used to think the world was flat" she will say "no they didn't!" I will then ask "what makes you say that?" or "what led you to that answer?" like I usually do. I try not to make any answer wrong, but rather find out what kind of thought pattern led her to the answer. Usually through discussing it she will come to the correct conclusion on her own. Like if she says 4 x 5 is 25 then I'll ask her what led to that answer, and when she counts it out she'll laugh and say "oh wait, it's only 20." Sometimes her conclusion is sound, so I will tell her that her answer is good, but we're looking for the commonly accepted answer. For example she said red and blue make black. It's true when she colored over red with her blue crayon it turned almost black, so her answer was a good one. But the commonly accepted answer is purple, and that's what usually happens. But when she's arguing her textbooks (or something I've explained) her answer is "it just ISN'T!" Then we're at a stalemate. If I have her re-read then she reads it, and argues it again. If I show her a different reference or book that says the same thing, she'll still argue. I've tried "Okay, so you think no one thought the world was flat, and that's fine. But let's pretend that it IS true just for now, and let's go on with our lesson." That works SOMETIMES. Still, she reads on, shaking her head and acting like the textbook is SO WRONG. I don't feel like any lessons are being accomplished. We have award systems, sticker charts, etc. "Believing what's in the textbook" is NOT on my sticker chart! I don't even know what to do with it. Any suggestions? Oh homeschooling mamas?
I was going to respond, but then I read the quote in your siggy and felt that might be a good enough answer. :lol: Have you tried having her look up and verify her story from several different sources (to prove herself wrong)? Have you asked her, "Who told you that?" Perhaps she's repeating what she's seen/read/heard elsewhere?
Ask her why she would think the book is misrepresenting the facts or why she would think that you are telling her a falsehood. Which is essentially what she is saying. But then realize it likely is her age. I recall being in disbelief over some things, as my perception was just a little off on certain events. I could swear something was when it wasn't. The behaviour will likely clear up on its own. Although I am sure it is very frustrating to listen to and deal with. I have a similar problem with my DS who is only seven. He will argue endlessly if he's in the mood. I have made a point to 'agree to disagree and move on' sometimes the only solution to a problem is to not have a solution.
Ok, I have two thoughts on this. With my own 9yo.. I hear ya on the frustration!! To a large extent I'm trying to put myself out of the education equation. I'll let ds argue with his textbook... LOL. Honestly though.. I find myself saying, "Because I told you to do it that way," or "Because I said so," (and apparently my own mother is coming through ... yikes!). I don't mind discussion, but not ARGUEMENT... OTOH though.. it isn't all bad and here's why: as an older college student, I am HORRIFIED at the political and other agendas in benign looking textbooks. And the 18-19yos just eat that stuff up.. they believe EVERYTHING in those. They can't see when opinion is offered as fact AT ALL. I find it, honestly, very disturbing. So do what you can to help lead her to the 'facts', but don't totally discount her questioning nature. She's going to need that when she gets older.
I have an arguer in my house too. I learned that it takes two to argue. She will quickly get tired of arguing when she realizes she doesn't have an audience. When ds gets to being contrary, I just say, "moving on, now" or "whatever" and then continue on with what I was saying. If he continues trying to argue a point, I send him out of the room or I remove myself from the room. then he feels silly just talking to himself. Rebelliousness or disrespect is quickly nipped in the bud in this house.
I think it is just phase. Hopefully a short-lived one. I, too, am dealing with the same thing in my 8-yr-old. He just couldn't understand how building would fall and break during earthquakes, and not just slide off their foundations onto the ground. I tried showing him multiple different ways why they would break and such... no listening. So I just moved on and told him he could think it over in his own head on his time. He forgot about it quickly and we did other stuff. Kids!
