http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/04/18/kaye.bullying.suicide.cnn This is just one of many many articles. I am very concerned over this and other such incidents. Bullying was so extensive in my children's school and even the principal herself was a bully. Most stories never even hit the news. I know nothing here is ever in the news even though it is very common. I just wanted to share.
Our local ps has lost over 25 students this year who transferred to another school due to bullying issues that were ignored by the administration and the board. My dh is now one of the board of education members and he is looking into the issues at hand and would like to make the ps a more friendly place. The problem stemmed from the admin and board not having the back bone to stand up for the rights of the bullied.
ugh...that made me cry and it made my stomach turn. I hope and pray that not one more child dies because of bullying! I know logically that's not realistic though. In my son's former school the victims and bullies were put into social skills class together for 30 minutes once a week with the school psychologist or her student teacher/intern. That was all they did really. I found the principal and my son's teacher to both be bullies. At first I didn't think about it that way or I didn't realize it until someone mentioned that I was being bullied by that staff and that came from a public school teacher in another district.
The principal at our local school is rumored to be a bully. I can see from my contact with him he would have those tendencies. I think when students are unable to speak up (as in this case) when asked their opinion, there is a reason behind it. I feel people who bully feel powerless in their own lives, feel powerful when they bully others. My neighbor is a bully to his kids to the point of when they get out of the vehicle he is always screaming. The father went outside in his underpants calling the boy the "F" word then picked up the running garden hose and sprayed him in the face. His kids are quite hateful and angry kids. My ds saw the one kid shoot a cat with his gun and throw the kitty in the dumpster like it was trash. My son was really distraught when he saw that. We suspect the one boy poisoned two of our pups.
Too often, the victims are put in to counseling while the bullies are left alone and thought of as normal. That just makes everything so much worse.
Stories like that just affirm my decision to homeschool was the best decision we could make. DH's family told me when we pulled DS due to being taunted / bullied with PB (he's highly allergic and had a girl in his class who ate it daily taunt him with it, touch all over him after eating it even though he asked her not to). Anyway DH's family told me basically that we were wrong to pull him from school because it, because bullying breeds character.
So very sad. Stories like that make my blood boil! That poor child was the same age as my oldest. Bullying was one reason we finally decided to bite the bullet and homeschool. It was the same way in my DS's school; despite being a "good" private school, they did NOTHING to curb the bullying. They put all the blame on my son, as is so often the case. Blame the victim and let the "criminal" go free, despite the fact that any child who is abusive to other kids needs counseling equally, or even more, than the kid being bullied.
I do think that adults are as often bullies as children, but that they have more checks on behaviour...and an adult being bullied has more resources. We have bullies where I work. They run people off on a regular basis, while I don't think the boss is a bully, she thinks these women are her friends. I do NOT think that being bullied as a child "prepares" you for being bullied as an adult. I think if you are a victim of bullying, you are more prone to be a victim... they can scent a lack of self esteem from miles away. My younger son is talking about being "teased" and I know the kids...and they are bad ones. I am feeling pretty good about keeping him home next year, I get the impression that he is starting to hold back in his work so as to not be the "smart" one. Plus both my boys are very small. That is so tough for a boy. I just don't see any reason to let them go into an invironment that is so hurtful. We also talk about suicide with the kids, because it seems to be so much more prevelent. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We promised them that we will work with them to find a solution to ANY problem that they are having.
My SD was getting bullied in 1st grade! And when she retaliated SHE was the one who got in trouble because the bully was much more covert. He'd taunt her until she lashed out...and then got in trouble. That just taught her that she couldn't do anything about it. We were able to get it handled, but that was a contributing factor to our decision to homeschool!
Sadly, a lot of kids learn to bully from their parents, they learn that aggressive and thoughtless behavior allows them to have their way. The kids that I've seen who are bullies have parents who are bullies. Of course my experience is in our wee little town, I am sure there are exceptions to the rule though.
That happened to my son, too! Bullies aren't just mean, they're sneaky and know how to get away with stuff. The two boys that were the worst to my son were so charming with the teachers...snarky little devils knew how to play people to get what they wanted, and how to play innocent. I can't believe that more teachers can't see through them.
Bullies are our number reason for homeschooling. What is wrong with the almighty schools that they cannot handle this one problem?
Only thing bullying breeds is victims, low self esteem, and suicide. There are children, who as adults cannot function because the bullying was so bad as children and there is only so much someone can just "get over." Abuse is abuse is abuse. Whether it comes from a parent, a grandparent, a stepparent, or another child. It is still abuse. Bullying is just a word that is there to attempt to whitewash what it really is..which is abuse.
