...like I need some words of wisdom from you. Here's the problem: Lately the big deal among my group of friends (and by association, their friends which we end up hanging out with frequently) is to pull the kids out to "homeschool". There is a local charter school that 'everyone loves' that offers a 4-day on-site program, 8-4p. Looks good, if you are into that public school vibe. The moms I know love to call it Homeschool. Well, let me define homeschool. It's not taking your kids to a charter school 4 days a week for them to sit in a classroom and have teachers and recess and homework. Uhhh, that's SCHOOL. Last night I was at a dinner party where the hostess (a new friend of mine) and my old friend were GAGA over this new school. I endured a 2+ hour discussion of how SMART their kids are, how WONDERFUL this new school is, how GREAT it would be for me to put my kids there, too, so my kids can "be prepared for life". Listening to all the hype about the program made me feel very inadequate and under-achieving, like I am not doing enough. Actually, I am feeling a couple of things: 1) The kids would go to school 8a-4p daily. That's not homeschool because (shock!) they would not be at home. 2) Feeling left out that I am not interested in being part of their 'crowd'. 3) The feeling they insinuated that somehow I am WRONG, doing homeschool WRONG, and my opinion is WRONG. I am by no means new to homeschool. This is my 12th year. Why am I being so sensitive? Why do I feel like I am not doing enough? We go to art, music, gymnastics classes, read a lot, go places. I tailor the curriculum to each of my kids, buy the best I can afford. And the last few years, we have even been with a local charter school program (not the one I am complaining about) and it still feels like it isn't good enough. I feel like, ok, I am not independent anymore, which seemed to make me weird. We are with a (flexible) charter school that is very hands-off but still has some features I like. I should be accepted by my peers now. Why am I still not accepted in this area? I am still different since I won't jump on the same bandwagon as everyone else. Again, I am an outsider-different. Looking into a club I cannot join. I really hate being different. But I can't go along with being part of the crowd, does that make sense?
I can certainly understand the feelings of being an outsider by making a different educational decision. It's not easy. We just have to remember that each family has to make the choice that is the best fit for their family. It would really annoy me to hear people calling a school that meets 4 days a week homeschooling. Hang in there and do what you feel is best fro your family.
I agree. Being that you're 12 years in, you must be doing something right. I wouldn't think too much about their school "fad". I say that because I know all too well how a "great" school can make changes here and there and before you know it you're miserable. Hopefully that doesn't happen for them, but why chance it when you're doing a fine job educating your children at home? I have a friend who has her children in a school I would not even consider for my kids (if we were looking for a school), but she is always bragging to me how great it is and how my kids should go there. She isn't fooling me... I know better! Plus, how do they REALLY know what's going on and how amazing it is unless they're in the class from 8-4? Also, I don't know how things are there, but in my area a "charter" school is a glorified public school.
This is the problem. You hate being different, and you are. Embrace being different. I do and it sure makes for less headaches. :angel: I do not know if they are intentionally trying to make you feel a certain way, or if you are making yourself feel that way. Have they directly told you anything that would make you believe they do not accept you? If they have, then I would say goodbye to the "friendship". If that isn't their intention, then you need to examine why you feel the need to be the same. I have friends who do things differently. Sometimes they brag about how their way works, and it probably does for them. This is okay. We all make the best choice for our children, at least we should. If a charter is what they want, so be it. I think the main thing is for you to examine if they really do not accept you. Find people who accept you for who you are and what you do. In turn, accept them for what they do and who they are, even if it means them sending their kids to a charter four days a week to be "homeschooled". ...and the next time anybody mentions, innocently or not, how the charter can help your kids "be prepared for life", you tell them that your children were not born to prepare for life, they were born to live life. With that thought alone, you are doing right by your children. So feel goooood about it! Oh ya! I, too, think the idea of a 4 day a week homeschool that takes place at a charter from 8-4 pm is the silliest thing I ever heard. :lol:
Thanks everyone. And for what its worth, my DH said the same things. I guess it's more just me feeling different. I have always 'marched to the beat of a different drummer' in one way or another. I wish I wasn't so sensitive to what others think. Thinking back about the evening, I guess they weren't insulting me on purpose. I was being too sensitive. These two friends aren't like that normally so I guess its me. Thanks for the pep talk. 12 years in and I still need one sometimes!
Unfortunately homeschooling is becoming "trendy". We are going to see more and more moms taking the easy way out just so they can say "oh yeah we homeschool too".
