This year, I'm director of our children's ministries for one last time, before I step down from teaching at church altogether in August. I've been a teacher since about '95, and a director three times since '96. Jeannie is all finished with our children's ministries in August, so I thought it a good time to 'retire'. Recently, and for various reasons, I lost all the teachers for the grade 1-5 class. I'm the only teacher for that class. A few weeks ago, a father new to our church told another member he was interested in helping. He never came to me, and having been teaching each Sunday since October, I'd never met him. One week, he comes in with his two kids, and stays for class. He cut in here and there when I spoke, questioned things I said, and when I started to move on to the next activity he said I should stop and be sure the kids understand the lesson. This class has huge behavior issues to start with- one of the reasons I lost teachers-and his presence there exacerbated the problem. I barely got through half the story that day. At the end of class- it was finally over!- he came up to me, asking to take my lesson home and read it. I then asked if he was the dad I'd been told about, that wanted to help. He said 'Honestly, I'm only here because my kids can't tell me what they learn each week. I wanted to see what was going on.' He took my lesson, gathered his kids, and left. Going down the hall, he was loudly telling his kids the story, in his own words. I was stunned and insulted. This class is a huge handful to start with, with an ADHD child, another child that thrives on negative attention, and the remaing few that get led into joining the melee. I have two that behave, and one is Jeannie. For this man to first lie to another member about wanting to help, then come in and add another layer of disruption to the mess, just gets my goat. Now everytime his kids are there, his 7 yr old son starts in with 'I don't get it', as soon as I start the story. His 8 yr old daughter is snooty to the other kids, commenting to them after I say something to get them to settle down. For example, Sunday my ADHD child kept yelling he was hungry. I told him after the story, we'd do snack. This girl snapped at him 'I don't caree if you're hungry!' I assumed her daddy told her to help the teacher control the class.:roll: This dad now sometimes stands at the bottom of the steps that lead up to the classroom, and just listens. Once he did this, and cleared his throat after my ADHD boy went off. His daughter said 'That's my dad!' It was almost like he was signaling to her. The door is completely wide open during class, he doesn't have to stand at the bottom of the steps. I'm seriously rethinking my committment. It's a long way to August when you feel like you are under a microscope. I love teaching, I love our material this year, but these challenging kids, plus this dad, are taking the joy out of it. I want to hang in there, too, so Jeannie can finish out her last year. Sorry so long. .
Maybe you should ask him to teach the lesson one Sunday all on his own and let him see what you are up against. If he somehow does a great job and maintains control then perhaps he will be able to help out in the class even if he did go about this in a sneaky sort of way. I am impressed that he asks his kids what they learned that day. I don't think many of the parents of my S.S. kids even know what we do in the class. I don't like for parents to stay in my class with the kids because the kids act silly when mom or dad is there, but they are welcome if they really want to, but please let me do my lesson! Praying it all works out for you soon.
I'd have handed him all the materials and told him...you're on next week. That would be really tough to swallow! Of course, he sounds like the critical type that won't be in the church long, because he finds fault with the pastor, the elders, etc. You should have a helper though. Not like this man, but a friend who will handle the crowd control while you are teaching.
You should definitely have a helper! If you feel that you are supposed to be teaching the class, don't quit. You will be blessed! I do think I'd ask him to step in and teach one Sunday.
Is there someone above you that you can speak to about this man? You have to decide if his interruptions are worth the hassle. Why are you teaching? Did you enjoy it before he came? Sometimes its better to just walk away than to deal with ugly people. I would be cautious because you dont want someone like that to cause you problems by way of lying about what goes on in the classroom. Not trying to scare you, I've just met that type. (((( ))))
I'm totally with approaching him and letting him know that since he feels he can do a better job, he's welcome to try and hand him all the materials for the following week's lesson. Make sure to stand at the doorway and clear your throat often. AND...btw...his kids not being able to parrot what they learned in Sunday school with him has nothing to do with how you're teaching, but how much they are listening.
I was later told this family has been coming for two months at that point. Who does that, go into a new church and find fault right away?? I was told Sunday that they have now joined our church, so who knows where this will all go.
I'd rather have the parent there in front of me than hiding somewhere, listening. Over the years, other parents have done that at various times, and even though I was never listened to, I found it insulting.
Wow that would really bug me! I have never had a parent stand around listening outside the door. My kids parents are all in the adults class if the parents come. Some come on the bus so they are alone. If a parent wants to know what we are doing they are welcome to come in or whatever, just don't distract the kids once we have started our lesson. I have some hyper kids in class too and it is hard to keep everyone's attention. I love teaching the class though and love the kiddos. I teach K, 1, and 2. We do not have a lot of kids so it is a lot of fun. AND I have a partner teacher who is easy to work with and a real friend. You really need a partner teacher to help you out.
The door is W I D E open during class. Sound carries, too. I don't know why this dad lied about helping. In fact, I'm wondering if I completely misheard him when I talked to him?
At our church, we don't allow parents to teach who are not long-term members and are known to be faithful and solid teachers. Second, we don't allow anyone to teach alone; it must be in pairs (usually couples). This is especially true when it's a man. You can't be too careful when children are involved, and churches can get in hot water if they don't put in place processes to ensure no abuse. So, I would not ask the father to teach - for both of these reasons. As Ronald Reagan used to put it, "trust but verify".
I'd tell him if he feels he needs to re-tell the story in his own words thats fine(and that should be on his own time) , but while you are the teacher of the class you need to do it your way.
First, I'd talk to the director of the whole SS dept. about this man. If the answer you get is something like "I'll take it under advisement" then I'd hand him the materials, tell him how much you appreciate his help and tell him next week it's his turn. Then I'd be present in the classroom as HIS "assistant" (and supervisor), and occasionally interrupt with questions and suggestions (not to the point of extreme obnoxiousness, but just to "help"...). If it works out okay, great, but if it doesn't, I'd suggest that he not interfere with your lesson the following week... and CLOSE the door!
First of all there should always been two people in the room for lots of reason. Just to protect your self if one child said something. Even if its a high school student in there helping. Second I would look at him really nicely and say you are doing a good job. I need a break I will be sitting right here if you need help. Why don't you do next weeks class for me. Thanks alot. But, If it was me I would never be a room with that many children with so many differnet things going for them with out help.
Since he's already standing there, put him to work. You can very nicely tell him that you could really use a helper and, since he usually hangs around anyway, you'd like him to help. Give him a specific job and hold him to it. He obviously cares about what is being taught in Sunday School and he's not doing anything else productive during that time. Hopefully he'll either become a helper for you or, if he really doesn't want to help, he'll go away during class time.
And to do it as loudly and while going down the hall! It was like he was trying to get everyone to notice him. I'm still not sure what the motive was there.
I'd never close the door, for my own comfort as well as so everything is transparent. This room is at the top of some steps, so the door being open allows the sound to travel and anyone passing in the hall can esily see in.
