Today is our second day of school, and already I'm wanting to throw in the towel! My kids are 12 and 10 and I started homeschooling them 1 1/2 years ago. I pulled them out at Christmas and so the 2nd half of the year we kept things low key, on advice I read to detox from public school. Last year was our first full year and we signed up for Classical Conversations, and I tried to do what I could to make school fun, but they complained daily, wanting the easy schedule they had the prior year. Everyday I heard constant "Can we skip today?" "Can we skip math?" "Can we be done early?" Over the summer I worked HARD at putting together some fun curriculum, and building a schedule that would be easiest for the kids. My kids like schedules and like knowing what's coming up, so on Monday they had fun writing the schedules in their planners and talking about the rewards they could earn. Then Tuesday came and they complained about every assignment (and we didn't have anything hard to do) and today they keep asking if they can skip school today. I work from home full time and they know I need them to show some independence on some of their work. I can't stand the lousy attitude they have about school. I explained that they are getting older and need to work hard, whether it's at home school or at public school. I'm thinking of just losing out on the $1700 I paid for Classical Conversations and just put them back in public school, which doesn't start until Aug 26th, so I still have time. I just wanted to vent, and I'll listen to any advice anyone can offer. Thanks for listening.
I'd say hang in there, too. I would sit them down and go over expectations. Explain why the first half year was a bit easier. Offer a fun activity after work is done, and have a consequence for whining. (I add more work for those who whine.) We have days at my house when school's just not working. I can recognize that, and occasionally, we do just take a day off. I make that decision though! And, sometimes, we take school to the park or the beach.
If they think what YOU"RE doing is hard....going back to school is NOT the answer. Makes it someone else's problem, but doesn't fix the root problem. I'm not sure I have advice. My kids have always been homeschooled and have no idea what it is like in school, but when they get up at 8:00, finish school by noon or 1 and are onto their own thing in the afternoon...when they look out the window and see neighbor kids dropped off at 4:00 or later they are SO THANKFUL that they are homeschooled. In our district, my kids would be bussed, and my oldest's bus would leave from our driveway at 7:00 a.m. and she wouldn't even GET to school until 8:00 - could you imagine riding around in a school bus for an HOUR???? And same for coming home....she'd leave the school at 2:30 and not get home until 3:30...YUCK. I would agree 100% with Six on this....
At their age, it's "their job" to whine. And your job to teach them not to. If they don't want to do schoolwork, have a long list of deep cleaning chores to be done instead. They need firmness from you.
I think there are two different approaches to this problem. If you are going to stick with a solid curriculum or plan then you need consistency in your expectations. You will have to get through a period of whining and NOT giving in for it to work. I have no idea how long it will be, but the more consistent you are the better. If you can approach learning and education in a different way, you may be able to "do" school without doing "school." I am speaking of unschooling. I don't totally unschool here, but I have relaxed my approach to learning and our experience is much different than when we started out. This approach takes what kids do and what they are interested in and goes from there. Now, I am not saying you have to do either of these approaches exclusively. You can find a place in the middle of the spectrum or lean towards one end or the other. However, a lot of people have a hard time following a prescribed curriculum. It sounds wonderful because a lot of the planning is done for you. I wanted to find a plan like that when my son was younger. I quickly realized that it would be torture for both of us. Now, we do things like this: History- mostly just reading from different sources- textbooks, library books, magazines or whatever. I don't give any tests or quizzes. I have him write a paragraph occasionally. Science- we only did half a chemistry book, but it took a whole year. It was hard. I am counting it as a full year. I know the homeschool police might get me, but I am not going to fret. English - we have used many different textbooks, but not everything in them. Diagramming? I love it, but it is not necessary in my opinion. However, my son only wants to write in posts on his forums in correct grammar. Now that is what learning grammar is for, not for filling in mounds of worksheets. We did a lot of worksheets early on and we might do some this year, but not nearly as many. Math- we used mostly Math U See and finished usually about 90%. Now we are doing consumer math and a lot of that will be balancing his checkbook and using some MUS stewarship to accompany it. I guess I am trying to say that being bound by a curriculum's expectations can exasperate the best of us. I would suggest that you find a source that you can use how you want on the schedule you want and throw in some day to day life stuff that can be counted towards different subjects. Heck a lot of science happens every day. Discussions and reading can be counted towards a lot of subjects. Watching documentaries are an excellent way to supplement history. I hope you see where I am coming from. I hope it made sense.
Also not to be dismissed, even at public school the beginning of EVERY year I am sure is hard for the teacher. She has to stick firm for a few weeks til every one is settled in. I'm not trying to sound judgmental or mean...but just a thought as well...you say they know I need them to show independence on some things because I work. Children are still children.....they may need you more the first few weeks till things are settled in, then maybe you can put more time into your work after that. I would also suggest not taking as long of a break for next summer so it's not so hard to get back into routine.
This year, for the first time in 8 years, I decided to ease into school. We began with just 2 subjects. Language arts and science (though I planned on history, Discovery Chanel's Shark Week changed that for us). Our first 2 days were HORRIBLE, I quickly learned what I had chosen for LA was NOT going to work for us and had to change immediately. I went to my back up plan and by day 3 things went smoother. This week we added in math and history. Next week we will add in some more, and then the following week even more. We should be up to everything by then. It's worked way better than ever before! Just hang in there, don't be afraid to change things and don't be afraid to do things differently. My kids prefer videos and learn great from them, they hate read alouds... so I have decided if videos work, then videos it is! It's ok to be different, and it's ok to change what isn't working for you.
Thank you all! I can tell how frazzled I was by all my typos yesterday!! Oy! Today is going much better. We are on track, and there was some whining, but it wasn't bad. This morning I went over the few rules we have, and told them if anyone asks to play video games or watch TV sooner than 4:30, they'd lose them for the day. That helped, although talk about pushing boundaries, I have fielded the following, while in the middle of school work: "Can we watch educational TV?" "Can I look up something on the computer real quick?" "Can I watch the news?" "Can I just email my friends that I'll be online at 4:30?" "Can I email dad?" Anything to get back onto the electronics! I really was wondering if they'd be better off at school. I'm teaching similar topics (I like the idea of unschooling, especially for younger kids, but mine are in 7th and 5th grade and we have to work on the main subjects too, and I don't have the flexibility to be by their side all the time, or even to leave the house often). I sometimes feel like I've brought public school into my home. But, I know they are getting a better education. We use Sonlight and we read the books together, and they are learning SO MUCH history that I know their public school peers are not. We use Apologia and they both seem to enjoy this the most. And I too love that they are not bused an hour to and from school (bus comes through our neighborhood at 6:20AM!!!), and subject to all the issues they'd face in school. But, I wish they understood the sacrifice it takes and appreciate what they have a little more than they do. I can't stand how they complain about everything! Thanks again for listening and for the advice! I'm going to read through it all again, you all are great!!! Laura
LOL, I did that once. They thought it would be easier to spend the day cleaning. They haven't wanted to do that again.
LOL Works every time. I will say, one thing that worked for us...I think my middle was in 1st and my oldest was in 3rd, and they were bucking the system quite a bit. Even my "angel" easy to teach oldest daughter! :shock: I told my husband I was going to put them in school. He said "No", and further explained if they were giving me that much trouble that HE would teach them when he got home from work. Within a couple days, we sat down with the kids AS PARENTS (not just me) and explicitly laid out the rules and the consequences and reaffirmed to them our commitment to homeschooling and that going to PS was NOT an option and NOT going to happen. Period. And that they needed to get on board, or they were welcome to be miserable, but it wasn't going to change US. NIGHT AND DAY, let me tell you. About two years ago my middle started bucking it, and dawdling all day on work, etc. My husband clearly laid out consequences for him. 1 day not being done by 2:00 - no computer, a 2nd day - no computer, no TV, 3rd day - no computer, no TV and no Legos. He never got past two days in a row! LOL He did push it a few times, but he really just needed a reason to focus. We have since discovered that he probably has ADD or ADHD (we do not want a diagnosis b/c we do not want to have to jump through the school district hoops). Now, if I let him drink coffee in the a.m., he's usually quite alert and focussed. He's 7th Grade, and he loves coffee, so he's allowed ONE CUP on homeschooling days. Pediatrician said 1 cup will have no ill effects. YAY!!! It is hard to be firm at first, and reinforce the rules. But they WILL stop eventually trying to push the limits. Especially when they realize that it WILL NOT change YOU.
I've been homeschooling since the start and my youngest two demand school and whine if I don't plan to do school with them each day (kindy and pre-k) my oldest has whined about school for years now. lol I try to ignore him and push through. One day he HATES math and the next he's telling me it's his favorite subject. He's moody and emotional and reminds me so much of myself that I do an ok job of rolling with it. It's very familiar to me. I tell him I'm not listening to it, if we start early enough I expect him to be finished with math and language arts before lunch. If he's worked diligently and just isn't done there's no consequence, he gets lunch and then goes back to work, if he's been dawdling he isn't allowed lunch until he finishes. I LOVE the deep cleaning idea! Totally putting that in reserve. He's only 7 right now so I can absolutely see having more struggles in the future.
When we're at school and DGS just "doesn't feel like" doing his work, and doesn't come around in a short time, I put him on his knees and ignore him, telling him, "When you're ready to do your work, let me know." It usually doesn't take more than about five minutes. The ignoring (while going on with my day and teaching the other students) gets to him more than the kneeling does. Our rule for the school is that whatever doesn't get finished is homework. But most of the public school kids just don't do homework either. So undone homework - I don't care how old you are - is completed while kneeling next to your desk with your books on the seat. I don't usually have to impose this more than twice per kid. At home our rule is that homework is done as soon as we come in the door. No tv, no playing (he's not in the habit of computer), until it's all done. On occasion, he has done nearly an entire school day in two hours.
