Sorry for the vulgar subject there, but I'm still pretty steamed. Jeannie has been in gymnastics since April. She had been asking for months to go, so when Kindermusik ended I signed her up. In this class you begin whenever you sign up, but they count their year as January to June. Kids who have been there all year got a trophy Thursday, and others, like Jeannie got a certificate of participation. Several things burned me up. First, I found out a group of moms had gone to the director to get newcomers like Jeannie out of the class, so kids who have been there since January- like their kids- could have more one on one with the teachers. One of them told me to my face what they did. When you join this class you know going in that there's no cap on how many kids will be there. You know new ones can come in at the beginning of each new session. The second thing that burned me up was the ceremony itself when trophies were handed out. Instead of explaining that trophies went to kids who had been there since January and that others would get a certificate, thus making both seem worthy, the coach goes into this speech about how the trophies are more special and if you weren't there long enough you weren't getting one. Extremely poor choice of words to use with three and four year olds. One of the teachers told Jeannie I should have signed her up earlier in the year, like it was my fault she didn't get a trophy. The kicker- Jeannie was first to get a certificate. Not one parent clapped. Only I and one of the teachers clapped for her. I only heard clapping here and there as we left, and I assumed the worthy kids were getting their kudos. Certainly not all the kids got applauded. Needless to say, we're done with gymnastics. I'll be facing one of thgose moms at swimming tomorrow, and I'm wondering what comment she'll make. Hen. I'm just caught off guard by this parent behavior at a class for kids this young.
Speak in love to them - if they're mean and nasty to you as tempting as it may be for you to react the same way (it's hard no to), speak to them with love and a forgiving spirit - that will do more to them than being hateful (and being nasty to them does nothing to help the cause). It's sad that the person presenting the awards and trophies missed a golden opportunity to make the best of a good thing - and they'll be remebered for it - not only by you, but by the many other parents simialrily treated this way and their children. This is why when we do our awards with AWANA that all the kids are given something - some of them a certificate just for being there - but they want to be recogonized - they've worked hard and deserve it. Brenda
Phillip has a December birthday. The year he turned three, I asked if he could start AWANAS in January, and they said yes. So he started in his book in the middle, and finished the last half. On the day of the awards, the Cubbie director told me that she went ahead and was giving Phillip the First Book Award for "finishing" his book because he had completed it from the time he started. I was very pleasantly surprised! All the young people, even those who don't "finish" are given some kind of recognition. ALL are made to feel like they accomplished something. I am sorry that these people can't seem to dwell on the accomplishments of each child. I think I'd be dropping out, too!
I'm wondering why on earth they accept new students when they don't intend on encouraging them to succeed?! Why don't they just wait till their trophy winners are done getting prizes and then start a new group? My dd took ballet/tap and at the end of the season there was a recital and everyone got a long-stemmed rose. Very nice and appropriate...it's not as if any of them were going on to Julliard, you know? Jackie.....when my dd was in Cubbies, the teachers would spend 1 on 1 time with the kids who started late so that they could actually complete the whole book. It was very nice for all of them at the end of the year to earn their Cubby Bear. I remember them helping a child earn that who only attended the last month! :shock:
And this is why I say these people have missed a golden opportunity to make the best of something that so profoundly affects a child. The opportunity to bring them up was there - to acknowledge something about them - but they were too blinded by the petty stuff to attempt it. In doing so, they may have put a bullet in their backs (so to speak) by shutting doors of opportunity to many families - from this year like Becky, to others - by word of mouth and poor publicity. Becky, I don't blame you for being upset, I would be too - but in the midst of a tempting situation to respond with the same attitude as what they did to you and yours, go a step above them and treat them the way you would have wanted to be treated - that's the heap of coal on their heads that would hurt far more than words or actions (or the actual coal itself). Brenda
Oh, I didn't react to the mom who admitted she tried to have newcomers removed. On the contrary, I made a fool of myself right along with her. At first she said to me she wished they were divided up by age. I agreed and sent an email to the director saying so. That would have instantly reduced each group size. It was later, at swimming class, when this mom was telling another mom that the newcomers were taking time away from kids like her son who had been there all year, and it wasn't fair. BOINNNNNGGGGGG! She realized I was sitting on the other side of her!! She tried to smooth it over by saying- get this- that the new ones like my daughter shouldn't be expected to perform as well as her child who has been there so long. I'm like, okay, my kid is an interloper and an unskilled one at that. The sessions run 8 weeks at a time. You are able to enroll at anytime during the year, during signup. There's no mistaking that all the kids will be put together. You just know it from the getgo.What I think is hilarious, is the fact that the Y has this invitation only class for highly skilled 4 yr old gymnastics students. Guess who's kid isn't in there?? Yep- hers!!! I didn't put her in there to compete, she's in there to be active and enjoy herself, for pete's sake. These kids are 3&4 years old, it shouldn't even be a competetive side to this. I've heard of parents like that, i just never met one.
And let me say again I think it was awful that these parents didn't applaud all the kids. I think that was such a poor show of character. GGGGGGRRRRRR...... I hate to think of swimming class later!
You have to feel sorry for these families. First for the parents that think so little of themselves that they must succeed through their children's activities. Second for the children that won't be allowed to enjoy life. My area is extremely competitive so I know how you feel. I've encountered it in many arenas...soccer, gymnastics, karate, swimming, even choir. Just remember that you've paid just as much for your daughter's tuition that they have and your daughter deserves the same acknowledgement as the others. I'd find another gym.
Really, I could understand if it was older kids, but these are 3&4 years old. Am I the only one that sends my kid to exercise and have fun?
Right, Becky, it should be for fun. Why do any of them need trophies for the fun of participating? Missy
understand I don't understand that uglyness at any age. You should have been told up front what to expect. That way you would have know about the certificate. Hunt another class for her and ask questions up front to prevent this maybe. I hate to see the child hurt. That gym must love hurt kids.
I knew about the trophy, but I misunderstood at first who got them. No, I'm cool about all that. What irked me was how it was done, and the attitude of those other moms. I'm glad it's over with. Now she's only in swimming and a gym class. I'm looking at an art class, too. Hopefully there's no preschool Picasso's there!
