Hi! I tired to post in the intro section but it wont let me. I want to do homeschooling for my 3rd grader. I however am having problems with dh because hes worried about the friends issue. I explained to him that well keep in touch with the friends (we live in a town of like 7000 I think we can handle it) shes also in girlscouts. Hes having a hard time accepting it. I think hes afraid of what ppl will say and the friend factor is a big thing. He also isnt quite sure how it all works i dont think...any suggestions would be great.
We hear that a lot here, so your DH is very typical. And I do think it's a fair concern for someone who really knows nothing about hs'ing. You might consider asking him to lurk here for a while. He will quickly see how social our children are! Mine take part in 4-H, organized sports, church/AWANAS, classes at co-op or the rec center..... Of course, this varies from family to family, but our children don't live in a vacuum! Do you know other HS'ed families? Perhaps you can have him talk with one of the dads. I know my DH had some concerns at first, but after nine years, he is my biggest supporter. Anther possibility is to see if he'll let you "try it" for a year. That way he can see how your children aren't really isolated.
Well I didn't have to work too hard to convince my dh even though he was a little worried about the social factor. Maybe make a list of things your dd will be doing outside of the house. List all the pros of both homeschooling and regular school, have a family meeting and get your dd's feelings on it. I know a lot of people say it's up to us what we do about our children's education- which to a certain extent I agree with. But I think at that age it's important that the child has some input also. What is your reason for homeschooling? Maybe you can talk to him about that.
Are there any support groups in your area? What I find works well with hesitant husbands irl is meeting other dads that are doing it. My dh convinced my bil that it was a good idea and I've seen it work for other dads too. My dh is a teacher by trade (not in a school anymore though) so there were no problems but he also is very knowledgeable about education and makes some good arguments for homeschooling from the fatherly perspective. :love:
I took my youngest out of public school at the beginning of 3rd grade and her sister who was starting 8th. They were both below grade level at the time and now are on track and maybe even a little ahead of where the public school kids are. We did fine last year, our first, and this year is just amazing! Both girls are doing great. I am less stressed and my husband is home Mon. through Thur. to help. He loves doing science with them. They are so much closer to us and each other now. I just can't begin to tell you how much their attitudes and behaviour have improved too. They were never bad kids but the stress of trying to keep up at school was getting to them. And don't get me started on the school bus fiasco! Foul mouths and nasty behaviour and screaming bus driver! I hope your husband will agree to homeschooling if you feel it is what your little one needs. Best of luck to you. Beth
Perhaps the articles I posted here might help a touch. Just remember that unless both parents are on board with this, it probably won't work well for your family. Don't approach him in such a way that will put him on the defense. Be polite and offer to show him some solid evidence that suggests that you can overcome those "social" obstacles. There are also a lot of websites written by homeschooling dads. Perhaps reading from a man's point of view will help set his mind at ease. Confessions of a Homeschool Dad is one of my favorites. Here is a list of several HSing Dad's blogs. This one is not a blog, just a website for HSing Dads. From what I can tell, there is a wealth of fabulous information here. Remember, his concerns are valid from his point of view. You might need to show him a more concrete plan than 'you'll keep in touch with friends'. Find lists of field trip and support groups in the area. Learn about co-ops. Find out about playgroups. Arm yourself with information. When you can show him that you could have your child with other kids everyday if you wanted to, his concerns might be allayed.
Here is a snip it I wrote for my website about the friends issue. Quality over Quantity: How many friends does my child need? What do you say to the people that insist that a homeschooled child will not have as many friends as a public schooled child? I would first ask them to define friend. This is a very important distinction. I think there is an important distinction between quality and quantity in many aspects of HSing. I don't school for the quantity of hours as PS but there is higher quality of instruction during the hours we do school. I don't have the same quantity of experience as the teacher's in PS but the quality of our (the children and I) experience is greater. I think the same goes for friends. You may have a child that is social and will claim all 25 students in his class as "friends". (Quantity) Drake was like that and he is very social. Now he may only have 4 or 5 friends but they are real friends that he sees for a variety of activities and has a bond with them other than the class roster. (Quality) He has not expressed any need for more and anyone that knows Drake (and tried to get a word in edgewise) knows he would say something if that was the case.
My hubby had quite a few concerns last spring when the topic came up. He spoke to another hs father whose girls were now in college. Following that conversation, he immediately pulled our daughter out of ps and took her home! I would strongly encourage him to talk to other families and visit our spot here. With the friends issue, we've had to set a limit on how many friends she can have over each day or my house would burst at the seam! Couple days ago was a 1/2 day for the ps, and my doorbell started ringing at 1:00 pm. My dd actually sent them away till later because she wasn't done with "her" school. We also keep her busy with church activities, gymnastics, and outings with extended family. Lately my dh has been begging me to cut back as we're always on the go! See if he can commit to just trying it for one year and than do an evaluation at the end. My hubby started out saying "just one year"; now he's saying "we'll homeschool, till it stops working!".
My hubby actually brought it in to a conversation ...HE was the first to mention it. He was talking to a guy he used to work with and he told him that him and his wife decided to homeschool and was telling me what you would need to do and such but NOW when i mention it he just kinda blows it off.....My daughter is having some troubles in school mostly with the teacher....she assigns work but than wont let them bring home their reference book..:x and shes just not doing to hot this year. she did AWESOME the first years. They also have her do work that they havent even covered and than she said sometimes when kids have questions all they tell them is you need to do it yourself...I can understand that to a certain extent but come on now. I think hes just concerned with her friends and the fact of "what if thisisnt for any of us in the next year how do we go about getting her in like 4th grade because she was HS in 3rd...... I guess I dont have the answers for him because im kinda confused myself.
I agree with the others about letting him talk to another hs'ing dad or read books/blogs from other hs'ing dads. That really helped my dh!
Thanks for all your replies. I hope he really considers letting us do this. I asked DD the other day and she said it would be great to learn at home but what about her friends..... I told her that nothing will change. we know where they all live and have their phone numbers. Now how do you go from HS to back to PS if that should happen? like for highschool. i have been trying to read all i can on it but when it comes to this stuff its really vague. kwim?
Some of that depends on your state. A few states have transfer requirements. Around here, you just fill out the enrollment forms like you would for any transfer student and check the box for what grade they are in. That's it. But SW Missouri is VERY homeschool friendly.
Y aknow, that one article that was posted (I think ActressDancer posted the link to the post) was really compelling. Students do not go to school to socialize. They are there to learn. And usually punished for socializing at inappropriate times, etc. I, personally, feel the social aspect of school (public, christian or private) IS a HUGE problem in the schools. It's also not "real world". How many of us have been in a room with people our EXACT age, doing the EXACT same thing for 6 hours a day? I never really had a choice but to homeschool. We made the decision before we were even married, based on the homeschooled kids we had met and seen. How bright and articulate they were and how they could converse with ANYONE not just their peers. My stepmother - who's still relaly on the fence ALWAYS comments on how polite and wellbehaved and smart my kids are. She still harps on the social issue - but we DO get out, my kids DO have friends and I know all their parents! Anyway...stepping down of the soapbox. Hoping hubby is open to reading, looking, and hearing the argument.
We started this year and my husband usually yields to my judgement in regards to the kids - but did say he wasn't all for it. Now we are 1 month into it and I don't think he would change it. Granted we have some serious issues some days with behavior but I think it's just my kids having "days" - other days are like dreams! We live on a farm - kids aren't close anyway so we have to go places to socialize. They chose 4-H, my son does homeschool PE and my daughter does swimming. Both are very happy with it and it seems to be enough. My husband's first comment was "just don't screw up the kids" but I think once everyone learned of things that my 5th grader didn't KNOW they are slowly coming around to the knowledge that the public school wasn't doing the job they used to do.
well i just got done looking up Kansas legalaites of this and theres really nothing I NEED to do. I am going to register with the BOE just to have that security and it answered many questions i needed SOOO im going to set hubby down and have him look at it. We dont even have to follow a specific cirriculium. I did find out though that the PS doesnt have a specific cirriculium either they have to follow so the next time a teacher pulls that with me im going to knock them out. J/K My daughter is sooo smart..she knew how to count to 200 when she left pre school(that teacher was awesome) and she was sooo bright and this year it seemed to go down the drain. I sometimes wonder though because I do run a daycare if thats going to be an issue but I really dont think it will be. Please pray my hubby will get on board.
I do daycare. About how many kids do you have as your "extras"? It can work with a great deal of flexibility.
