My 4 yo has been enjoying our curriculum, but all of a sudden he has just become super stubborn about doing anything - even the subjects he really enjoys! We only have "school" three days a week for about 2 hours. I try to vary the things we do. He's always loved reading and math, but now he's reaching the point where he has to learn to form the numbers and letters and HE HAS STUCK HIS TAIL IN THE GROUND!!!! He can do it. If I force him he will, but it can take a half hour to bring him to the point of making a halfway readable circle. He just doesn't like doing it! I've posted before about his fine motor skills. He hates working on them at all. Any suggestions as to how to get him through this? I end up finding myself yelling and I don't want to do that. I get so frustrated. I try to tell him that if he'd just make three nice (circles, humps, diagonal lines, etc) that we could do the fun things. But no, he has to fight about it. What to do????
What does a 4 year old need to know? I suggest this article-it pretty much sums it up. http://magicalchildhood.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/what-should-a-4-year-old-know/
Four years old is still very young. What does he like to play with? If it is cars, play dough, paint, use these tools to teach his lessons. While working on his motor skills is important, it is a process and takes many years. Let him paint the circles, humps, lines, letters, numbers. Do not correct but instruct. I believe there is a differece. While correction is needed, academically speaking, at this young age, you will hopefully get more out of your kiddo if he doesn't know he is learning. School work will become more difficult with age. Let him have fun learning. So instead of holding off the fun until he completes his work, incorporate the fun with the work. You will kill two birds with one stone. Invest in sidewalk chalk, finger paints, and let him explore letters, lines, and numbers, in a hands-on, colorful world. Have fun. You will enjoy it and he will enjoy it more.
He is only 4!! Let him be 4. I love the link that Sonita shared, it's one of my favs! I would throw a fit and fight every bit of the way if I had to do 2 hours of school at 4 or even at 5 or 6 or 7 and probably even at 8 and 9 too.
I can't remember what you've posted before about motor skills, so let me start on the preface that I don't know what you're talking about. First, I know about delayed motor skills. My oldest has been in therapy since he was born... physical, occupational, and now he's starting visual as well. I know what it's like to see all the other kids riding bikes while yours can't even run or jump. Second, it's completely NORMAL for a 4 year old not to be able to, and not to even want to, form letters and numbers. Letter and number identification usually begins around age 4, but being able to form the letters with a crayon or pencil is more like 5 or 6 for beginners and 7 or 8 for late starters. Try not to get frustrated over that. If he's able to identify them, he's ahead of the curve. If not, he's a normal 4 year old. Next, I'm not sure what you mean by "2 hours" worth of school, three days per week. Are you trying to do 2 hours all at once? How much do you expect in one sitting? What exactly are you doing during those two hours? My son (5 years old) is very advanced cognitively, but still, we spend around an hour, usually, on school work each day at the 2nd and 3rd grade level. He's (of course) behind in his motor skills, so he spends only 5-10 minutes on writing skills, and never more than what his therapists have told me to do. On days that he's at therapy (for only 45 minutes, by the way, with varied activities), he doesn't do anything like that at home. It's just too overwhelming. Two hours of learning, whether it's motor skills, cognitive skills, social skills, or whatever, is too much for one sitting for a four year old. If you're breaking this up into 5-10 minute sessions over the course of 8-10 hours, it's not a big deal. Frustration in any child, regardless of age, means it's time to back up and re-evaluate what you're doing. Either the material is too hard, there's something wrong with the child (sick, hungry, tired, etc.), or you're teaching it in the wrong style for the way that child learns. If you continue teaching the same way as you are, you'll teach him to hate school, and you'll teach him to feel he's stupid. He'll feel as if he's no longer worthy of your praise simply for being your son. He'll associate output of school work with output of love. It shouldn't be like that at all. Take a step back and ask him what he wants to do, then turn it into something fun and educational at the same time. Unless you're planning to put him in PS later, there's nothing you need to prepare him for, other than to trust that you'll teach him as best you can without making him feel inferior to your standards.
Our eldest has not long turned 7 and we're only just starting to do "formal" stuff now. That is not all the time either. Saying that, that doesn't mean we haven't yet done anything but just not totally structured or written down. I always try to remember that a child's "job" is to play - learn through what they do, live what they do and do what they live. Play your lessons on a chalk board perhaps that would be a change of tack or get a tray and squirt in shaving foam and have them do lessons in the foam....just turn it round and think about things in a different way perhaps. Bake a cake - instead of seeing cookery see, maths, english, science, geography, etc... Hope it helps. SS
I am so glad I am not the first one to feel the same way when I read the post. He is only 4. Some people mistakenly believe that the younger you start, the better off he will be in the long run. I don't think that is true. In fact, I think it may cause a "hatred" of school type stuff for a long time if not for the whole time he has to be in school (home or otherwise). When we rush to put our kids on this scale and keep up with who knows who, we project those expectations on our kids. They know-we can't hide it. I think delayed academics is the way to go. The Moores have a website that explains this: http://www.moorefoundation.com/article.php?id=5 Then I suggest that you read up on relaxed homeschooling, delight driven schooling, and even unschooling. I am not saying you should go all for it and unschool-I don't. But reading about all these different approaches to learning taught me that learning doesn't have to look like what we went through. I am willing to bet that he started off with more enthusiasm because it was something new. Now the excitement has worn off.
I would keep it fun at that age. I don't believe any 4 year old needs structured instruction though. If you do want to instruct him in writing skills I would spend the bulk of the time building his fine motor skills on things like playing with Play Doh, doing fun mazes or dot to dots, stringing beads, or coloring. I think it is helpful to consider that at age 4 and ideally at any school age a subject should be fun and not something that has to be completed to get to the fun stuff.
Do not push through, take some time and wait on the child to be ready to move ahead. thats what we did and my kids are great! I think, other people admire how we schooled our kids and how well they are 'turning out'. Okay that sounded like a brag, and maybe it was but I think that letting the child lead for the next level if they are a little ahead of themselves is good. Most of the time1`
Oh, how I wish I had read this article before sending my son to pre-k when he was young. It was a private school. So here I was thinking that I was giving him a great head start to be an academic genius. WHAT? My son does NOT like rigorous academics and he is 16! Oh NO, what shall I do? I will enjoy him as he is and not even try to think of making him like those burdensome academics.:lol: I just wish I had kept him out of school and delayed any formal learning.
Thank you for all of the ideas and the link. Perhaps I didn't give enough information. I started schooling my grandson because he wanted to learn to read. He is quite advanced in the language area - I can't seem to keep up. He also gets bored very easily and since he is being raised by an almost 60 yo grandma, there are some things we (I) don't do that a 20 yo mom would. During the summer we don't have much of a problem because we are both outside almost constantly, and when the weather is bad we're almost happy to spend a day inside, but the winter is a different matter. There is nothing to keep his very active mind busy. He scorns toys, including building toys or art toys. He loves thinking things, like games, books, reading. I try to spend as much time as I can doing these things, but I am single and also work so I do have other things to do. His favorite toys are his leappad and his computer. So I started school just pretty much for something to fill his time and he does love it. But the writing has really given us a roadblock. Thanks for all the input. I think I'll just quit on the writing for now and use other things to work on his fine motor skills - games and such. While the 4yo curriculum we are using calls for it, I think you are all right and I am not going to push it. I am going to keep up the rest of it, however, as he loves it. btw - he will be 5 in one month.
Great plan! Go with what he enjoys, the only thing I would encourage is to get him involved in wanting to play Lego, it would also be a great fine motor skill builder. This will help with writing when he chooses to do so, or when it comes to the point that he must do so. I understand the advanced learner, I have a teen in college. Really in college and about to transfer to her university in the fall if she gets her way. She was planning a two year then transfer but is bored with her college choices so we are looking for more challenge for her. That said, keep the finger play stuff going, let him play with lego and even play doh at his age in ways that would be creative. Make it a lesson if he wants that, "create a scene from the book you just read" My younger ds loves to create the whole set and play out a movie we watched, even still!
There are lots of ways to "write". Fingerpaints, sidewalk chalk, markers on whiteboard, brush on paper, large paper tacked to the wall for writing with whatever, those little easels with chalkboard on one side and markerboard on the other, magna-doodle, even those crayons/markers made for bathtub walls... Doesn't have to be alphabet or numerals, can be freeform drawing or making pictures or just doodling. Put a few drops of paint on a paper and fold it in half, then add details to make it a picture. Put a piece of string in some paint, then put the string on a paper and fold the paper over the string and pull to make a design.
I remember reading a news report about a 4-year-old in Florida who had been accepted into MENSA. Looking it up, here's the advice given by someone who helps teach the child: "My advice is to encourage. Rather than push, encourage. Give her the tools to learn. Encourage the love of books." To my mind, this advice is relevant no matter to which child we're referring.
I haven't read the other replies, but really? 2 hours for a 4 year old? That's asking way too much. And "subjects"? His subjects should be playdough, legos, finger paint, and being read to.
I read somewhere that boredom can actually be good for kids. I don't remember what it said exactly, but it is something to think about. I don't think the boredom should be filled up with the computer or TV all the time. If they are forced to face it and come up with something-they eventually will. Do you like to read to him and does he sit still or play quietly while you do that? That can be a great way to spend time together. I would also try to include him in your daily activities. If you are cooking-let him measure or stir. If you are cleaning-let him clean alongside you. And let him do the "learning" stuff as long as it is not overwhelming him.
I agree. Make the legos into a challenge for him if he doesn't like to build on a whim. Find a truck, building, etc. and make it into a game for him to try and replicate what he sees. This will tie visual into fine motor as well. Maybe just letting him color, paint, etc. letters instead of actually trying to write them would help too. Print off bubble letters and let him glue beans, feathers, or paint with different brushes to fill them in. He will decide when he's ready to put pen to paper and begin writing them soon enough.
Thanks for all of the great ideas on things to do with dgs. The legos, the writing ideas - all really great! I had forgotten all about all those creative ways to "write" I used to use a sand box with his dad, I never even thought about something like that. I do plan on painting a wall in his room in the chalkboard paint for his birthday. I know he'd love that! Love all of the creative ideas! I do read to him a lot and he is included in anything I do normally - if I bake, he is helping. When I decorated for Christmas, we did it together. He even helps hang clothes on our clothes rack and puts his own clothes away. There's only the two of us so we are always together and anything I do he is pretty much doing it with me. Actress dancer, normally I would agree and would be giving the same advice, except that he is the one wanting to do this stuff. I am not pushing it on him. He begs to do his school. We just have had issues in this one area. Honestly, if this kid is not gifted he is defintely in the "advanced learner" category. But I also agree with what Steve said. That's why I was on here right away when we started having problems. I felt like I was pushing and I knew I didn't WANT to do that. If I hadn't seen a problem, I wouldn't have been asking for other ideas. Sometimes a person knows the answer, they just need to hear it from someone else. Thank you everyone for your responses. Each and every one of them were valued because you took the time to respond and gave me your honest input! Thank you!
