Good Morning! First some background on me: I am a stay-at-home Mom of triplets aged 4. Two boys and a girl. We have been researching homeschooling for a couple of years now and have fallen in love with the idea. We have a school choice system in our county that basically means you list your choices of schools in order of preference and there is a lottery to see where your kids are placed. It may be your neighborhood school, the A+ school 40 min away or the struggling school nobody wants. You simply do not know. I turned in my choices a few weeks ago. I chose a school for the arts that has ballet, violin, daily recess and drama. When bringing up the distinct possibility that we may be homeschooling with close family and friends I have been met with mild interest. I am surprised that most seem to question "Why?" We are a normal, middle-class family. We are not religious, our kids have no learning issues, physical issues, etc... We love to travel but due to cost we cannot go enough to truly impact a school schedule. We have not attended school yet, so the public school system has not failed us. What is my reason for doing this? I feel there is too much emphasis on testing and not enough on critical thinking. I feel school is no longer fun and engaging. I am worried my kids will learn (like I did) what they need to do in order to pass the test and then discard that knowledge in favor of what is needed for the next test. The problem is that all of this is unproven. I don't *know* if this is true because we have not tried public schools. I am scared now that the decision to either homeschool or attend traditional school is upon us. I realize that you all will give me biased answers because this is a homeschool board. That is kind of why I am asking. I need inspiration. I need strength. Why should I make the leap? Please help! :love: Tara
Tara, first of all, WOW, triplets! I bet you have some super fun days and some super frustrating ones. lol. The reasons you gave for wanting to homeschool are the exact...exact same reasons my dh and I decided to homeschool to begin with. My kids have never been in public school, so I cannot say the schools have failed them. However, I based my reasons off my own experience and the experience of my fil, a public school teacher. Of course people will question "why" when it comes to homeschooling. I used to think the idea quite batty myself. lol. Don't be too hard on them or yourself for feeling like you don't have concrete reasons. Yet, I think your reasons are perfect since we came about the decision in the same manner. LOL. Anyway, as the years have passed I have developed such a love for homeschooling. I enjoy seeing my kids learn. I enjoy really knowing my kids. I cherish the days where we can explore topics together even if it gets us off track a bit. Seeing them think and not just repeat what a book says gives me a real kick and reinforces my decision. I feel I would have really missed out on so much if my kids education was directed by someone else. I feel my kids would have missed out if their education was directed by someone else. Now, we are a Christian family so our decision has been reinforced by our beliefs even if that is not where it started. Homeschooling is not for everyone and that is ok. There are good schools out there. There are good teachers out there. I went to school and loved it. Many schools offer wonderful things and opportunities. There is nothing wrong with a parent deciding to send their child to school. So, if that is your decision in the end that is perfectly ok. I do think that if your heart is turning to homeschooling and you feel you are up to the task than that is reason enough to make the leap. You can start right now with preschool. See how it goes. See if it works for your family.
I agree with what Ava Rose said too! I have a question: What if they are picked to go to the school you requested? Would you send them, or would you still homeschool? I'm not sure where you live, but often there are homeschool groups, and plenty of way to get them social interaction and learning in a variety of ways! I love my children so much! I just don't know what I'd do if I had to send them out for someone else to teach! I love being with them (well, most of the time! ) and I've soooo loved seeing them learn and grow! Our family bonds and family values are so much stronger than they would've been otherwise! I have two teenagers and one that just turned 11---and they all love their parents and have close bonds (not that they don't argue and tease each other sometimes. They DO do that!)with us and each other! This is our 10th year of homeschooling, and I wouldn't trade away the time spent with my kids for ANYthing! I LOVE the fact that when they ARE older and out of the home, I will never have to have the regret that I did not spend enough time with them, or really get to know them! I encourage you to try homeschooling if you and your husband agree that it's a good thing! And guess what? Homeschooled kids often excel at learning because it's done in a MUCH more interesting way than many schools do it, and they get one-on-one attention! Best wishes to you as you decide what is best for your family!
My oldest was in ps for 2 years. I cannot say that it failed him, but I can say that it did not nurture him. When my dd9 was 4, we began to notice fine motor problems, so we had her tested through the school system. Her IQ was normal, and I was assured she would catch up once in school. We decided to keep her out another year. By this time, dh and I had decided to homeschool. We were afraid that my dd would get lost in the ps system. I worried that I was not providing well for my dd, as she seemed to fall futher behind. So, I had her tested again, through another school system. I was again told her IQ was normal (it is). It was also recommended that I have her tested for ADD, and that I enroll her in ps immediately. Basically, I was told that I could not give her what she needed. I was turned off by the labels being tossed about. My dd does have an problem- a visual perception deficit (eye tracking, focusing, discrimination), but it was not the school system that helped me find that. It was testing dh and I did on our own. So, in her case the ps system did fail us. Although I started hs'ing because of my dd, there are now so many reasons that I continue. Most are the same things you are concerned about.
Deena, Up until now I had said that if they got into that school we would give it a try. Be 100% committed to it and see if it fails us. Now that it is looming closer, I am hesitant to do even that. It is hard, I think, partly because everyone around here talks about that school as being the best. It does have amazing art programs and opportunities for the kids. Ever since they were born I have heard "Do whatever you can to get into ____ school." Because we are triplets, they are placed as siblings. This gives us an unfair advantage in the computer system because siblings are placed first. It was set up that way so that families with one child already at a particular school would have a good chance of getting younger siblings in as well. So, even though there are only 18 spots open for the '08/09 school year -- I think we might just luck out and get three. DH and I talked last night and we would like to come to a decision regarding homeschooling independent of where the school choice places us. In other words, I would like to decide before I know.. Tara
I'm not currently homeschooling, but will be starting in June - can't wait! We did homeschool last year while on the road, and we really enjoyed it. That being said, I am a public school teacher right now, and a lot of your concerns are well-founded. I don't think the public school system is a horrible place, but it has its faults. There is definitely more emphasis on the testing these days (thanks NCLB!!), but it may not be all that bad - really depends on the school. The school my twins attend is fine - the kids take tests in the fall and spring, but it doesn't impact their teaching all that much. Basically, if your kids go to a "good" school where most kids are proficient, the teachers are mostly free to teach as they want. There are a few more constraints, but it's not bad. On the other hand, if your kids go to a "failing" school (like the one I teach at) then things will be impacted a LOT by those tests. Almost every single decision we make here is based on the tests. There is an enormous amount of pressure on the kids who haven't "passed", and that means teacher time is directed toward those kids. The kids at my school who are proficient don't get nearly the teacher time the failing kids do. I have to say, that's my major beef about NCLB - the good kids are getting the short end of the stick (at the failing schools anyway). So - should you homeschool? It really depends on you. There are some reasons why I'm thrilled I have my kids in school, and other reasons why I am thrilled that we will be homeschooling for hte next three years (at least). It is wonderful to spend the time with your children and to be there when the lightbulb flashes. It's great to be such an integrap part of their lives. But my kids really do enjoy being with the other kids all day and they enjoy the social aspect of school. They have teachers with strengths that are different from mine, so get a wide variety of info. Good luck with your decision!
You hit it right on the head!! Among other reasons, I want my kids to LEARN HOW TO LEARN --- not how to memorize.
Well said! Well said! We have a 1st grade dd who we've been homeschool since middle of last school year. She'd been to preschool since she was 3 1/2. Went to ps K for the first half of last year. Due to LACK of challenge for her in the ps she was, no way to transfer to another, and couldn't afford private, we pulled her. When we pulled her we knew it wouldn't be permanent. Only till we transferred in hopes we'd transfer to New England. The experience has been amazing for both of us depsite or rough days- or weeks. She's an only child and having been in the school enviroment, that part really took some adjusting on her part. But she's learned so much she wouldn't have learned otherwise. After a TON of research, conversations with the principal of the school she will be going to up in Maine, and corresponding with a teacher who works closely with homeschoolers up there, we decided to put her back in school. But there is always that option to homeschool if it doesn't work out and we know we can do it. When we were faced with the same question of "why?" it didn't take much for people to see why. Dd went into K reading at a mid 1st grade level and doing 1st grade math. She was bored, not happy at school, and we were afterschooling. Figured she was learning more at home after school in an hour then she learned in a month AT school lol.
I also have a 4 year old (just one thank goodness!) who I am homeschooling. We've never been in ps either so our reasons for homeschooling aren't really related to that. My daughter is very bright and curious and working at a grade level way above her age. If I sent her to school this Sept. when she should be starting Kindergarten she would be working on stuff she learned over 2 years ago. I couldn't do that, I don't want to kill her desire to learn. Also, I want my family to be close and loving and to do that I think we need to see more of each other than 2 hours every night. It's funny of my son Eli had been born first I might not have ever discovered homeschooling. I love it though! MY kids and I have so much fun together. Remember that it's not absolute, you can put them is PS and then take them out later. Or you can decide to homeschool and then change your mind later and put them in PS. If you decided to go for it, let me know and I'll recommend some great kindergarten curriculum. Amy
I agree that I want my kids to learn how to learn & not just memorize things to get through the test. That is what I did. I was a good student but I didn't retain most of the info. The main things I remember were when things were made fun & those were very few. My husband wanted me to HS but I said "no". God had other plans! I lost one year with my daughter to PS Kindergarten & I could kick myself for being so stubborn. I had too much time to re-think my position on HS while the public school had my daughter. We have a list of reasons why it works for us. Mostly, I like that my kids can learn at their pace. We spend more or less time on certain things. I like the control & I know it's better for my shy kids who would be too scared to ask for help or admit they didn't "get it". We like that we can teach about God,fun field trips,no worries over sick days,only our own schedule for everything like waking up & vacations,controlling what is & isn't taught, no negative peer pressure,no bullies,no lockdowns,& a bunch of other reasons I can't think of right now! We belong to a great HS group for P.E.,HS sports league, & filed trips so socialization is not a problem. We have to limit some of our activities because there's so much to choose from. It is a lifestyle I never envisioned for myself until I lost my daughter 8 hours a day. My family doesn't get it but they are not horrible about it. I have had former PS teachers tell me I'm doing the right thing. I know now I should have listened to my Hubby!
Our reasons for home school are hopefully ones that you guys will never have to face. I was raised in strict religious home and never allowed even the discussion of ps for me once I hit junior high. When my boys were born I thought all hs children were very strange and rather inhibited around other "normal" children. I decided I was never going to make my kids into recluses and they would definitely go to ps! Our boys attended wonderful ps until we relocated to Baltimore from small town Idaho. They were both A students and our youngest had even been provided an excelled reading class by his very enthusiastic first-year teacher! (I loved that teacher!) The differences between the schools and cultures themselves were enormous! After both boys began failing class and the youngest got to the point of refusing to go (faking illness to stay home), I visited the school to find out what was going on. The information gotten there was horrid. In a nutshell - the teachers viewed the children as annoyances, there was no classroom control whatsoever and the 1st grade teacher flat out told me she blames the parents for her lack of control in the classroom and she couldn't wait for her transfer to come through! We pulled the boys that same day and survived a short notice finish at home. We moved to a different area and our boys returned to ps in the fall and they loved it. They both returned to being A students and had a fairly active social life. - Fast forward 2 years - We decided hubbys income was not worth the hassle of being out of our comfort zone and with the boys whole hearted approval, returned to Montana. Boys went into ps. Biggest mistake we could have done, ever. We should have just hs them from that point on. Oldest went from A student to barely getting by by the time he was a junior and the ps continuously blamed our son for everything. We did not hear about a lot of what was going on because we were very naive, truly. Our oldest would tell us he had it figured out and everything was going to be okay and then it wouldn't be. He is very mild mannered and didn't want to "make waves". He has always been very responsible so we felt we could take his word. Not once, ever, did the school contact us regarding his grades! We thought they would do something, let us know if he was going to fail a class... no, just sent home the report card with a new schedule so he could retake the class. Unfortunately we let him down by taking his word for it. He graduated with a 1.8 gpa in summer school this past summer. It breaks my heart. Our youngest is now being hs because he began using drugs and skipping class. The same school refused to take any responsibility for the kids actions even though it was being done on school campus and at homes directly across the street from the school. We have been a lot more aware of happenings since the oldest had troubles with the school and it has paid off. He went from an honors A student, prime baseball pitcher (who has been planning to be a big league player since he saw his first game at age 2) and over all great kid to be around, to a kid who skipped school, was drugging and partying and decided that he wasn't going to play baseball anymore. Lying about where he was going etc. We pulled him out and cut off all contact with anyone except us, his online game and those at church for a month. He is an extremely social kid and always has been so this was utter torture for him. He made the choice to hs over transferring to a different ps so we felt we had been able to catch the situation before it got completely out of control. Time will tell. He is now back to being the son we know and everyday we remind him in different ways that his choices in life now are detrimental to his future... just look at his brother If I had to do it all over again - I would hs them completely from day one. I had been raised in such a manner that caused me to have a very distorted view of hs and what it truly is. As a few have said before, it is about learning and what you want them to learn, not about memorizing to get through the next test. Socialization should be what you want for your child, not necessarily what everyone else's children are going to contribute. Arts (be it performance etc) can be found through other resources in your area. Sports can be found through little league, local ymca and gyms etc. Not all ps are "bad" obviously but there usually is a lot of input that you may not want your children to be introduced to. Ummm....the question of "why"? - I homeschool because I can't bear the thought of letting another of my children suffer because I assumed our ps teachers cared since they chose that profession. Darby - who needs to figure out how to keep from writing novels
I just had to say I love your insight!! I taught for only one year, but was shocked at the first meeting of the year when our super. said if it's not on a test it doesn't need to be taught. Oops I guess that silly dancing we did didn't need to be taught. The more & more I "talk" & read what most the ladies are saying the more I'm interested in hs. Because I'm wondering if my lil' one would be bored in ps? It goes back and forth. I know I could teach him here. I know the elementary portion of it quite well...used to teach elem, but the middle school & high school years scare me. Then I think you know there will probably be soooo much more offered online and what not in the coming years what would I really have to worry about. I'm with you sister on doing the right thing for the kiddos!!! Good Luck & Pm sometime....
I, too, based my decision on the amount of testing involved in the ps system. I was a school teacher and then a counselor. I saw first hand (at least in my area) how the focus of learning shifted from learning to passing the silly test. I also saw that either the slow learners or the quick learners were being short-changed. It is only logical to assume that trying to teach to 18 children (all on different levels) would be more difficult than teaching to 2 or 3. This is one of the main reasons I have chosen to stick with homeschooling...even through doubts and fears.
Wow, thank you guys so much for your insight and honesty. There are some really well-thought out responses here that I can let my mind dwell on for a while. Nancy, I agree that there are public schools that are doing the kids justice. There are amazing teachers out there too. I appreciate your comments being a teacher and homeschooler. I have poured over your blog and am so excited to keep up with your family on their journey. What an amazing experience. Your children will never forget it! Before we had kids, DH and I had the opportunity to travel around the world. It is a gift I hope to give my kids when the time comes as well. Life changing!! I think after reading all of your responses I find that I seem to forget that choosing ps or hs is not a final decision. It is possible to make changes when one or the other is not working. I have a tendency to think in absolutes I guess. I worry that by choosing hsing now, we will have a tough time ever integrating back into ps if needed. I appreciate you all taking the time to "talk" to me. Thanks! Tara
I didn't plan on homeschooling for all 12 years. I planned to put my kids in the school system at some point...junior high or high school. As time goes on, I am not sure about that or what. lol. See, so you can go year to year and still do ok! LOL. I have known quite a few kids who went from homeschooling to ps and they did fine. There is always an adjustment for any change in your life but I think it can work.
All this talk about testing reminds me of a song I heard entitled, "Not on the Test". I can't figure out how to place a link here...so I am linking to my nook on thehomeschoollounge...click on the lounge music playlist on the left and listen to this song when you get a chance. Funny thing, I actually received this song through email when I worked at the ps. http://www.thehomeschoollounge.com/profile/Lisa22
I'm sure you will end up doing what's best for your kids Tara. The decision seems difficult now, but I honestly don't think it will be for long - you'll somehow "know" and feel comfortable with it - whichever direction you end up going!
Well, I'll add our story to the mix :lol: My kids have all previously been in a Department of Defense school in Kentucky. My oldest started about 6 weeks into her K year and we moved with 2 months to go in her 3rd grade year (so almost a full 4 years)....it is a great school with wonderful teachers (all hers were wonderful Christian ladies). I was active in the school both in their classrooms and on the PTO. When we moved, I had one in Pre-K, one in 1st and the oldest in 3rd. I had always pondered HSing but with hubby deployed more time than home, I never looked into it seriously with such a good school. I think God's timing was right, because had I researched it more, I would have wanted to do it from the start and looking back, it would NOT have gone as well with DH in Iraq and Saudi for 34 months out of 53. The kids were right where they needed to be. But when we found out we were moving to VA, I started researching the public & private schools...plus researched deeper into HSing. My hubby had been gone so much I didn't want to have to plan our lives around the schools schedule but our family. If DH is off, then so are we...enjoying much needed time with Daddy. Add to it, VA's SOL testing.....and the absolutely crappy schools in the district we live in.....yep, we're HSing. Fortunately, we had decided to HS before we found out for sure where in VA we were going (Ft. Monroe or Pentagon). And fortunately (and surprisingly), DH was all for it....that came as a bit of shock...figured I'd have to convince him. Anyway, the one negative of my kids previous school experience is that my oldest especially was held back in her learning. She was in gifted but it wasn't really enough to motivate her and she could be much further ahead but wasn't given the opportunities. And sadly, she sort of lost a love for learning in some areas (although we're working on finding it again). But, I believe they were in the right place at the right time and they still are...it's just a different place. Won't say its easy teaching 3 kids at 3 different levels with 3 different learning styles....but its never boring It was nice knowing before we moved that we were at peace with our decision to HS no matter where the Army sent us. And our family has been supportive for the most part. No one has bad mouthed it (at least to us). A few expect that if we move and the schools are better then we'd send them...and maybe we would but I doubt it at this point. I think we're in it for the long haul at least for one or two of them :lol: Besides, now they're spoiled. They like to have a bit more say in what they study :lol: (notice I said a bit...my oldest would like LOTS) I'll end this novella now. Best wishes as you make the best decision for your kiddos. Rhonda C.
Well, add another school teacher to the mix. I decided long ago to home school. Two of my very good friends in college were home schooled and when we discussed our school experiences I was so jealous. They had such richer experiences. I was a slight problem child and school and I didn't always mesh quite right. I was on some meds for my issues and well, honestly traditional school failed me in many ways. I wasn't even married, I didn't even have kids, I didn't even know my husband at the time and I knew that I wanted this exceptional education for my kids. I wanted them to not just read about different things but experience them. I wanted to teach them in the best way that they will learn, and I wanted to teach them at their pace and at their level not at what the district had decided that they should be at and what the district decided they should be interested in. My DH did need a small amount of convincing which should be surprising since he didn't really like school either. It didn't help that he was an Army brat and he moved around so much that his school imparted knowledge is sketchy and scattered. He eventually decided with me that it was the best thing. I have been homeschooling my two children for the last year and a half, or really since they were born. My son is technically behind according to the school standards, but he really, really wasn't ready for school. He is doing well where he is at now. My daughter is advanced (according to the same standards) and is nearly done with much of her kinder work even though she should just be doing pre-K. I love that I can help them learn at their own pace. My son is a total sponge and soaks up History and Geography and Science better than most kids I know. He does not read yet at all. If he had been in a traditional school setting they would have held him back last year, even though the only problem subject he has is reading. He will get reading when he is ready, in the meantime, his brain is still picking up tons of other information that he would not be getting in a traditional school. I do know children that traditional school works great for. I was not one of them, neither was my husband, and my son would also not be doing well in one. I know that there are some awesome teachers out there, but I also knew of colleagues that didn't really care at all about the kids they taught and would get wasted nearly every night at a different party. It is a gamble what sort of education your child will get and my children are not to be gambled with. I feel that in many ways our public education system is broken. I feel that as a person devoted to education I should be trying to find a solution, not just for my little ones but for the masses. I keep thinking on this, but thus far, I do not have a clue what that solution is. We will see how things turn out... whether we will home school all the way through or not. I would love to home school the whole way through, but for now, I am content to wait and see what life brings. I hope what we have said here will help you on your journey. You sound like such a wonderful mom, I am sure your children are blessed with you as their mother.
