Yesterday ds hit a wall with his subtraction, and started to cry. I keep waiting for my kids to TELL me if they are struggling but they don't. BUT I have realized there are signs I can pick up on if I'm paying attention. For instance, both of my kids will act very ADD (and normally they aren't like that at all). They swing their legs, gaze into space, talk about everything except what they are supposed to be doing, play with the pets, get up for a drink or to use the bathroom, ask for a snack, drop their pencil 50x ... But ONLY during the subject they are struggling with. If I'm not picking up on it, eventually they will start to cry, but they won't say, "This is too hard!". Nope, instead they'll say they hate the subject, or they will say they are tired or sick. EVERYTHING and ANYTHING except what is really going on. Dd will deal with hard things she CAN do by really talking a lot, refocusing for a few minutes, then back to talking-sort of short bursts of work with breaks in between. Ds will do a problem, ask for feedback, do another and ask for feedback, then finish the rest on his own. It's a totally different reaction when they really feel overwhelmed. Curious what behaviors you have picked up on from your kids when they feel truly overwhelmed with something (not just challenged)? I hate feeling like I've put my kids in a position where they are reduced to tears, so I admit I'm also picking your brains for anything I haven't noticed
LOL I love this question. I think the first things I notice is with son he starts flipping out. Groaning and complaining. A sure sign he's in over his head. And DD is more passive agressive with her she just stops working and will doodle or slouch in her chair.
My son starts getting really fidgety. He starts squirming a lot and kinda getting whiny and likes to change the subject. But it's the squirming that really lets me know. If he is understanding something, he sits quietly and gets it done. If he's squirming then i know something is not connecting for him and that it's time to back off for a bit.
definitely gazing off into space, getting into each other's hair, having a sip EVERY one minute...all this as opposed to when they are enjoying and grasping the subject, where they will eagerly work, with very few breaks in between. These are the subtle signs, the most obvious in my home is simply "this is toooooo hard", in the most annoying whiny voice you could imagine
My oldest says "I don't want to do this" or "I can't do this" that's my cue to walk away. There are facial expressions and tone of voice before that-when I pick up on those I try to switch my teaching method or explain it differently. Once he says something, we drop it and come back to it later. My youngest, just gets up and leaves. LOL But he's 4, so that's cool. We unschool, so what they learn is child led interests, so if they are frustrated and not wanting to do it, it's def a sign that it's too hard or they just don't get it, because it's stuff I KNOW they WANT to learn.
When they were younger it was definitely the meltdowns. Thankfully, as they've gotten older, they are MUCH better about asking for help!!!! With my youngest now, I do watch for the cues. Dawdling, playing games, etc...I try to get her before she melts down. Once she melts down, the day is over. She has a very hard time getting out of meltdown mode!!!!
Hey Meghan, I am a former special education teacher and have worked with kids who were LABELED ADD/ADHD. In my experience working with this type of student, you have to look at what method you are using to teach the material. Are you using numbers on paper? A text book? That is what we call using the representational level of instruction, and when trying to get your child to focus on a task in math, you need to start with a concrete level of instruction. For example, you may use M&M's to show them how to group numbers and subtract and add numbers. It is called concrete because you are using manipulative s. I think it's also fun because you can eat them afterwards. P.S. Never structure a math lesson more than 15 minutes at a time with a child who is labeled ADD/ADHD.
Sorry if my post was confusing. Neither one of my children is even slightly ADD/ADHD. I was trying to point out that both of them exhibit ADD/ADHD type behavior only when the work is over their heads, and only as one step along a path to hideous meltdown over it.
Ahhh...gotcha. Well, I think that is a normal response for anyone who does not particularly enjoy learning about a subject they rather avoid.
