when did you know your family was complete?

Thank you all so much for your replys its been really tough and i do wonder if daddys can get post natal depression! dh went out last night with his best mate for two hours and played some pool and had a beer, so fingers crossed hes chatted and got it all of his chest I dont think it helps that dh had 5.5m off work and is back on restricted duties! he gets his results next week so fingers crossed hes ok, and maybe the holiday will sort him out

 

I have four and I thought with everyone it was the last. lol. We did not plan the first. However, we both then wanted a second. When had our son we figured we were done. Then a few years later we thought three was a good number. So, we had three. Then we were done. Done, done, done. I did NOT want another. He did NOT want another. God had other ideas. I wanted to stop having kids when I turned 35. I prayed about it. So, God decided that I would have my last, number 4, at 35. lol. My dh was scheduled for a vasectomy but had to cancel due to a promotion. I then got pregnant. LOL. I watched the pregnancy test praying "God no, God no, God please no..." But when it was positive a joy came over me that I did not expect. I felt so blessed and privileged to raise one more child. Then my dh finally got the vasectomy! LOL. I would not want another one due to my age and finances. We were stopping at 3 due mostly to finances. I suppose God figured our finances were not an issue. Sometimes I wonder if he blessed the wrong person as my finances are not any better...lol.

 

I honestly do not know. My husband says he is done and he is sure he won't change his mind. He claims he would have a vasectomy today if I would let him! However I am not 100% certain that I am done. Because I don't want another right now I leave the subject alone but he married me knowing that I wanted four children. He never voiced a negative opinion about it. Once our daughter was born, everything changed. She is very dramatic and high maintenance. We love her to pieces but she can be a real challenge most days. So I think that has his mind set. I am hoping that he will change his mind as dd gets older and matures a bit. We are still young (I'll be 27 in Jan & he will be 26 in Feb) so we still have some baby making years left. But I don't want any more children after 34-35. So I have to wait and see what God has in store for us.

 

I don't know if you can ever "know". I believe that that is up to someone higher up than I. I thought after 4 girls that we were finished. Boy was I wrong. And I am glad. I had my son just 4 months ago. He is a joy to the house. They all are! I am so thankful for all my children. And most of them were not planned.

 

When hubby and I got together I had a 4yo. We knew 2 things.. we wanted to be able to enjoy our live as a kid free couple at some point in our lives since we didn't have that time in the beginning having a little guy in tow. We also both felt that 4 was our magic number... it had been the number in my heart for years, but really thought Garrett would be my only (long story). We decided that our limit was 4 kids or 32 years old, which ever came first, well when I was about to turn 32 I asked hubby who was 8 months younger than me, if we could wait till he turned 32. He felt that was right.. well neither of us hit our 32nd birthdays before #4 was on the way. I got preggers in Aug and turned 32 in Oct. We took it as a sign that 32 and 4 was really our magical number and I had my tubes tied.

I do get baby-itis once in a while and I'm sure I always will.. and so does hubby. But we both know that our family is complete and our days of sleepless nights and changing diapers are behind us (ok the little guy is still in diapers but you get my point). I'm very happy with our family and couldn't ask for anything more.

Oh.. about the bonding thing, I can't help much. Hubby is a natural born daddy, even staying in the hossy with me and caring for the babies to help me recover from my c-sections. I often think he has a stronger bond with all of our kids than I do.

 

We knew we were done when my husband said he wanted to get snipped! lol

Honestly though, I truly did want one more...and sometimes still do. However, I knew it wasn't best to pressure him knowing that he really only wanted 2 children. He knew in his heart that he only wanted two, and I didn't want to have another child knowing that it wasn't what he really wanted. If something were to 'happen' and we were to conceive (although I'd have to be a miracle because he is now snipped lol), we would of course love another child like our other two. But...to actually 'try' to conceive would be a different story for us. I just didn't want him to say 'ok let's have another' just because I wanted another. If we were to have more, I want us BOTH to want another.

 

We have two girls and my husband has a grown son from his first marriage. A few years ago I really really really wanted to have another baby. He didn't. He is 7 years older than I am and said he didn't want to "start over". He said he really loved the children we had and wanted to raise them and then have some time for just him and me. It never has been "just the two of us" because we had children going into the relationship. He actually said that if I really wanted to we could but knowing that he really didn't want it I didn't push it and stayed on birth control. Looking back I wish we could have tried for a boy but now I have two baby puppies! lol! I can look forward to grandchildren someday.