what do you do. Here is the senerio. Last night while I was at work, one person said "I don't know how those moms stay home with their kids and then homeschool them" just out of the blue. Well then everyone else jumped on the bandwagon and was bashing homeschooling talking all about the normal things people really do not understand about it. blah, blah, blah. Anyway no one there knows we are going to homeschool yet, so I just stood there quietly and said nothing. I could tell none of them actually knew what they were talking about, so I just held my tongue. Then later I was thinking maybe I should have called them out on it and asked "how many of you really have researched this or really know someone who it doing it?" Well have any of you ever been in this type of situation and if so what did you do? I would like to know in case it ever arises again. Thanks!!!
There have been a few threads on this kind of thing! I wish I could remember them because they always have some fabulous comebacks and such. I have been super lucky! Our are is changing.. it used to be a quiet little area but over the past oh 15 years or such more and more city folks are moving in.. and with it come the city crimes. People here have some very open minds. I have yet to tell someone that we homeschool and they "bash" it. Usually I am met with wow.. "That is so cool. I wish I could do/would have done that." I'm sure some of the others will chime in with what they would have done.. but depending on how well I knew these people and how confident I was around them, I most likely would have kept my mouth shut too with thoughts in my head of "ha if they only knew how much damage ps is doing to their kids" or "ha wait till my kids are having fun learning and actually want to do their work!"
I probably would have stood there watching them with a grin on my face for a while and then announced to them that I homeschool. I don't get upset about things like that. It just shows how ignorant and uninformed people are when they bash things they know nothing about. When I first began homeschooling I would get all defensive and upset but not anymore. I learned that once I gained confidence about homeschooling people backed off. Ask them what they base their assumptions on. And if I hear anyone around me say they don't see how people can spend all day with their kids I ask them why they had kids if they dont want to be around them. I like my kids and want to spend as much time as possible with them.
DITTO!!!! Of course, this happens to me every year - we're going to go thru the quizzing and grilling and all tomorrow night at my folks place. They talk like that about it in front of me ALL THE TIME...and they KNOW I do it! SO.... USually shortly after hitting them all upside the head, my daughter or son will go on showing what they've learned during the year! LOL.
I knew none of them knew what they were talking about, so I really just kept my mouth shut. One lady was saying "there are plenty of great PS" yet her kids are in a small private christian school??? I told my DH what happened and he said don't worry about it, just try and educate them one at a time. So I guess as they find out that we will be HSing, I will inform those who are really interested in knowing about it.
This has really always been kind of a "No-win" situation. I mean, what it comes down to is battling ignorance, to show people that you are better than they are because you actually like your kids and actually have the patience o be around them.... At least that is how THEY will see it... See, when I find myself in a position of uneducated homeschool bashers, usually they are people whose only homeschool exposure is from Dr Phil or "Wife Swap". . . . And when I defend my honest reasons for homeschooling, it can't help but come off as insulting to their choices, even though I never chose to homeschool to insult people. So, I think that you did the right thing. My DH and I have been in many situations like that and it really does come down to WHO the people are. In line at the grocery store? Let it go, and giggle as you pass... CLOSE friends, or family: Explanation time But there again, that is a personal call. So these are just my take on it. But I think you did exactly what I probably would have done.
You know what..last year I was only too happy to allow my oldest son to be "grilled" by our family. I was a new homeschooler and I just assumed that was a normal thing for them to do. Now after months of my son being grilled I am just sick of it! Now I'll stop them....I mean come on, they dont grill public or private school kids...why make my kids prove themselves.
I solved that problem, at least on my side of the family by turning this "Grill the homeschooler" thing around on them... I grilled their child and they felt "attacked..." Gee? Ya think???? People are stooopid.
Our kids aren't trained seals- why should they have to perform to shut anyone up? We need to be our kids' advocate and stand up for them when this kind of stuff starts.
I TOTALLY agree! If they are not someone who has any influence on your opinions (other than to always make sure you do the opposite of what they think is best!), I would just forget about it. I know that is sometimes easier said than done, but you have to pick your battles and you don't want to be worn out before you even get started!
The funny thing is when my kids get together with their cousins, their cousins are JEALOUS that my kids are homeschooled! My one neice has been begging my sister to HS her...but my sister won't do it (laundry list of reasons, unfortunately the top of the list is that she doesn't like spending time with her kids). My niece hears all the fun stuff we do, bookclubs, events, etc. The other thing they are jealous of is the amount of time my kids get to spend with US, we're not always carting them off to something, and we actually sit and DO things with them even when it's not school time! I do love my kids. So very much.
What is sad is that many well-meaning parents really do believe that anyone who wants to spend that much time with their kids are well... weird.... Even if they secretly wish they could too, but don't for fear that they would be seen as "Weird".
:lol: I laugh, and yet I agree--that is soooo stooooopid! Why is it okay for them to grill our kids, but not for us to grill theirs??? See, now that's just weird! Aren't we supposed to be helping our kids learn not to buckle under peer pressure? Well then, should we not, maybe, try to be an example of that?! What's more important, someone thinking you're weird, or your children and their safety and future???!!!
In all the years we have been homeschooling I haven’t really had that experience where someone bashes homeschooling in front of me they wouldn’t dare haha. They usually just ask the same old old question "What about socialization? sigh...I have a remark for that I have said it enough. So I have it memorized. I do have problem with my family and hubbys family on the grilling part. Its constant all the time I dread next year when we leave the kids to his mother while we go on our 20th anniversary trip. He is behind on his studies because of his speech problem..I can almost hear it now Sam
Re: Grilling the kids-- I think we should all play are you smarter than a 5th grader at holiday gatherings. LOL Grill the public school educated adults! Jill
Oboy!! this isn't only a homeschooling thing but a whole way people today seem to think. It's fine and reasonable to grill and attack someone else but if that's turned around, even minutely then take offense as quick as you can. I have a native friend who was in a homeschooling group that was supposed to be inclusive but she was subjected to a whole lot of talk about Jesus and Christianity continously. When she started bringing up her native sprirituality she was rather quickly made unwelcome. I've encountered the same attitude with people regarding homeschooling as well. I figure that if you dish it then take it. If you can't take it, don't dish it. Rant, rant, rant... This is a sore spot with me...Can you tell?
Honestly, I can say I never had anyone really challenge me on homeschooling. My ob/gyn said that if he could do it all over again he would have homeschooled his kids. He said that he believes they preform better acdemicallly. My dh's boss has 4 homeschooled kids also. So, not too much opposition. I had a few people say some minor things. I don't debate it. I simply give my opinion or offer why I do it. However, my choices are not up for debate. I don't debate someone on why they choose to send their kid to school...so why do they care what I do. In fact, I have just simply asked "what do you care?" and that ends it. LOL. Now, this was in response to my dh's cousin who does not have kids...so educating her in homeschooling was on top on my list anyway. lol. Yet, for the most part I haven't had anyone really bash homeschooling to me.
What always surprises me is how many teachers are supportive. By far, they're generally the most supportive groups of people when I mention that I homeschool.
