God has shown me over and over and over again that I don't need to worry because he always has a plan. And still, I let myself get worried and upset. When will I ever learn? A month or two back I posted here about curriculum. I really, really wanted to use MFW but I knew I wouldn't be able to put back enough money to get it before we started back to school. So, I was going to go with CLE buying a little at a time (which in the end would have cost just as much or more but spread out over the school year instead of up front). It wasn't what I wanted to do, but I had decided to make the most of it. So, over the last couple of months, I was able to put back at $450 for books, etc. We start school on Monday, so I was planning to order last weekend after DH got paid. DH worked LOTS and LOTS of overtime last week (not by his choice, but because they needed help), so I knew I would have a little more than I had planned, but still not enough to get the MFW curriculum that I wanted-I need two sets, one for elementary and one for my high schooler-but enough to order more of the CLE at once and save some shipping costs. I sat down Sunday evening to make my final list, but I was still torn. DH and I don't have a good record where financial conversations are involoved, but it really bothered me that I was going to end up spending the same amount of money but not get what I felt was right. So, I bit the bullet and told him about it. Normally, he would say, "That's your area. I don't know anything about it." and that would be the end of the discussion. But this time, he actually came over and looked at it with me. He said, "So how much do you need all together?" I showed him everything I need to get (I'm still going to use CLE for reading, language arts, and my son is going to try their math, plus dd14 is using LOF for math and has to have lab supplies for Bio) and we added it up. He asked me how much I had. Then he said, "Well, with the money I'll get on my next check, you should have enough. Just put it off one more week." I was blown away! When he gets overtime money, he usually has a plan for some sort of project or something he wants to do with it. I never expected him to let me have all of it! So, tonight I will be placing an order for our curriculum. I'm so excited. I asked God to give me a clear answer which way I should go and He did! God is good! I'm going to have to remind myself of this the next time I start to worry about something. God's already got it figured out.
WooHoo! But the answer to your initial question "Why do I worry about things?" is: because you're human. There are people who never seem to worry about anything, but that's just part of their personality, the way God put them together. Then there are those of us who "have concerns" (like you and me) - because it's the way God put us together. Each kind has their own issues to deal with... It would be totally out of character if you (and I) didn't have a little concern at the beginning of something, even when we know "God's got this". But what we have to learn is not to let it rule us (anymore). The people with the opposite issue about never seeming to be concerned about anything may just need to show a little more concern than they do... but that's their deal!
That is great! I am always reminded that the Lord has is all in control even if we don't see it. Like Linda said, we worry since we are humans... but know that God always brings us through!
That's my problem. This had me so upset I couldn't sleep. Just thinking about it had me nearly in tears. I just hate to be "up in the air" like I was with this, not knowing what the plan was going to be. I always have a plan. I even put "make to do list" on my to do list. I pretty much knew in my heart that God was going to provide some way for us to get that curriculum. I had been asking him for so long to show me what we should use and that's what I kept coming back to. But I didn't know how he was going to do it. All the ways I came up with that we might get the money always fell through. I think that was the hardest part for me-knowing he would do it, but not knowing how or when. And, of course, he did it at a time and in a way that I never thought of. I'm trying so hard to learn to just trust and wait, but it's hard really hard for me.
I'm so hearing ya! I've been at it a bit longer than you, that's all. File this away and remember....
