Everybody says that you are suppose to pray for your husband. Well I do and it causes him so much grief. I have 6 documented cases where I prayed for him for something (like patience, contentment, peace) and his cars have broken down out of the blue. One was a rash of them where 3 trucks broke down 3 days in a row, with in 2 miles of each other, at 3:20 am on the coldest mornings of the year, in the boonies with no cell service. I had prayed that God give him patience and help him to lean on God for strenght. He had to have some kind of strenght in freezing weather with no heater for a few hours. I prayed yesterday for him to find contentment, with the things we have and not to look for something better all the time. The car broke down in the parking lot at work, he had to fix it there in the 95 degree heat. That is opposite of contentment, he was so upset wanting to buy a newer car that wouldn't break down. I also prayed for him to take control of his thoughts, and for them to be Godly thoughts, because he struggles with depression. So what happens he comes home and tells me that he is so depressed he doesn't know what to do, that it just hit him like a ton of bricks today. I mean what is up!!! One good thing that happened was that I prayed for an answer as to weither or not he should continue to work where he does, I asked specificly for his boss to encourage him, I used very specific words that dh needed to hear if we were to stay at that job. Within hours of that the boss out of the blue told dh almost word for word what I had prayed, dh didn't know that I had prayed for him until after he told me about his boss. I went throught the power of the praying wife book and it was complete hell for dh. Everything broke, his job was falling apart, he got so depressed we talked about him getting on meds, I was worried for his safety. It was like life was one great big trial after another for him. He told me it was the Preying wife book. He has hidden the book from me a few times (in a joking manner), and asked me to not pray for him anymore. :? I thought it was suppose to be a good thing to pray for your friends and family. I have found there is great power in prayer, but it doesn't seem to work out in the way I want it to. I want it to be a blessing for my dh not something he runs from. I am scared to pray for my marriage, or my kids. Am I praying for the wrong things? I am thinking that dh is just a hard head and God has to use bricks to get his attention. I have also had things like this happen to friends and such after I had prayed for them. Once friend was having marriage problems, so I prayed for that to be fixed, and the stress load to ease, she lost her job that day.
(((((HUGS))))) I do know what you mean, though! But you need to look at it this way...maybe...for example... When you want to lose weight, or get fit, you exercise. Exercise breaks down the muscle before it builds it up. Stressing your muscles causes micro tears which allow new tissue to grow, making the muscle stronger. The longer you do this, the more tears, the more it grows. The same as it is with life. If you pray for patience - there will be opportunities for patience to be tested so you can be proven faithful. Your prayers are not what's wrong. Your husbands response with lack of faith and trust in God has been wrong. My counsel would be to have him do the OPPOSITE of what he normally does!. If a car breaks down in 95 degree heat and he has to fix it - sing praise tunes at the top of his lungs Thanking God that it did not break down with you or the kids in it (wouldn't that be worse???). Thank God that he has the mental capacity and ability to fix it - that is awesome. I feel sometimes that God will continually throw the same trials at us if we continue to fail the tests. Does that make sense? (It might be better to say that he'd allow the trials to happen, rather than HE causes them....we cause our own trials! LOL I know I do!). It's when we have a right response over and over again, that those trials stop, because they are no longer a muscle that needs building....then He moves on to the next one in us that needs building. I understand where you're coming from. I'm a glass is half empty kinda person too - and when my husband prays for me, all sorts of stuff happens. But the reality is...he's praying for me. And what's wrong is NOT what he's praying, but MY RESPONSE to what causes my faith muscle to grow. Now I type this and I bet that my car will break down today, just to teach me to keep my mouth shut. Praying for you!!!!
Dear Aggie, Praying for your husband is never wrong. It sounds like to me that Satan has found a strong hold and that he is using it to his advantage. In your post I read a lot of "I"'s do you and your husband regularly sit down and pray together? are you asking Gods help on situations together? You and your husband are a team and when the team is going in two different directions then there is inevitably discord through both your lives. Second, how is your heart in this? Do you pray to God like He's your personal Santa Claus? "I want this, give me that, Lord please do this" I remember when my oldest had heart surgery at 1 and 1/2. I prayed not for God to help him through the surgery but to have His Glory manifest no matter the outcome and to help me to accept His Will in a godly manner. Our son lived and God gets all the glory but had it gone differently I pray"God give me the grace to cling to You". I know about hardship. We have one vehicle that has broke down 2 in one week and blown 3 tires in 2 weeks, my laptop crashed, we had to sell our dog, we are being sued for unpaid medical bills and my children came down with a virus that causes a rash and is contageious to other child so we are in "quarantine" FOR WEEKS!!! <--- and all this happened this month! the last three of which happened last week. Life is tough.... but Jesus never said it would be an easy road to follow. He said take up your cross.... like saying today take up your electrocution chair...and follow me... 1,2 Peter is full of encouragement when life gets tough. But it is not the result of prayer. When you pray you are humbling yourself and entering in the throneroom of the Most High Creator of the universe. He spoke space into being. He spoke and there was LIGHT!!!!! how awesome is that??? that is who you go in front of when you pray. Are you to say that your conversation and your petions are met with distain because you prayed? NO! You are the child of the King of Kings. contine to pray, both with and with out your husband but mostly with. and cling to Christ. He is our mediator. And know I will keep you in my prayers.
Maybe it is those situations that will bring about patience, contentment and peace. Sometimes we need adversity to get us on track as much as a blessing. However, it may simply be his lack of faith as was mentioned...no offense. You are praying in the right direction and for God's will...so keep on praying. Your dh still has free will. Someone can use any adversity or poor situation to glorify God or turn their attitude around. Here is an example: I was in a poor mood one day. I took my kids to the library and on the way there I addressed some conflict in a poor way. I prayed a small prayer that my attitude would change. Well, upon getting out of the car my kid did something and the car door would not shut. I couldn't get it to shut for anything. Not sure what happened but it appeared the door was broke. I didn't know what to do. I kept trying to close it harshly but nothing happened. I acted out in a terrible way with my mouth. I decided to go into the library and get that done. Then just at that moment I tried to slam it shut again. Then a man asked me if I was having problems. I explained the problem. He easily and quickly fixed it and explained to me the simple problem that I could easily fix on my own if it happened again. I then explained to my kid that what they witnessed was God's mercy. I was acting a fool. I responded poorly to a negative situation. yet, that negative situation taught all of us a lesson and it changed my mood from grumpy to delighted and humbled. Ok...maybe that doesn't apply but I am trying to encourage you. Sometimes prayer is a slow process and we need to just trust in God's timing. We also need to pray that we and those we love can see the openings and lessons God is providing us. Remember in the bible when God allowed the servents eyes to be opened and he saw and army? Geesh...braindead...someone help..I forgot the reference.....remember the servent was told that the army was always there but now he could see it. Sometimes we have a lack of faith because we rely on our eyes and ourselves and not God. Pray your dh's eyes open to what God is trying to teach him. Now, I have experienced that same as you in other areas of prayer...in fact...there are things I am afraid to pray for...LOL.
Krista, Honor, Ava- I don't want to sound mean but all of your "trials" made me giggle. I know that sounds bad, but I so know what is going on and how you get so frustrated in the moment only to look back on it and feel like a dork. Or open your mouth then have your foot put in there. I should have stated my question a little better. My dh does apperciate my prayers for him, he just wishes they weren't so "harsh" when they come to fruition. We used to pray together, but not so much lately, we do pray with the kids and such just not the two of us. I also know that he prays for me ( out of spite? hehe) But it is my prayers that seem to be causing the problems. Dh has gotten much better in his reaction to things, but I often feel like whoever said it, if he would just learn the lesson it would quit happening. I have prayed for patience for him for almost 8 years now, you can't count how many times it has resulted in something breaking or a tense time with extended family etc. But he is getting better. He really has calmed down a ton, his personality has changed a bunch. I guess I just wish that the prayers that were easy and nice ( like where his boss praised him) or the ones that dh would have a great day and not scrap parts at work. I wish they would be answered with as much gusto as the other trial ones. Dh really doesn't think bad of me praying for him, he is a big joker which is why he was hiding my book and such. Another funny prayer answer that I got was I was praying for a close friend to have peace about where her college age daughter was living, and patience with her dd as she was learning to be an adult. That same day the daughter called and asked to move back in. ( not something that went smoothly at all, or was wanted by either party).
Please do not see your prayers as the problem. Maybe you need to change the way you pray for dh. Do not necissarily pray for him to be content or have patience (unless he specifically asks for that) instead ask God to guide your husband and to be with him. God knows more than any of us what we need. If you think your prayers are causing problems that is Satan working his way into your heart. Many times we have things happen that seem horrible to us but God is there working thru and with everything. Keeping praying for God to be in the midst of your family and even try praising him when these things happen, you will come out stronger and closer to God in the end.
I've always been taught that God will answer our prayers, so be careful what you pray for, because sometimes it doesn't work out the way we think it should. It works out according to God's Will, which is absolutely perfect and good and we have to learn to take the bad with the good knowing that the trials we are going through, will make us stronger as long as we keep our faith and know that God's Will is what is best for us. I love the stories several of you have shared. I have been there as well and I haven't always kept my faith and tried to go about "fixing" things on my own rather than trusting in God not giving me more than I could handle. It could also be, as someone else mentioned, attacks from Satan trying to tear you down while God tries to build you up. Stay faithful, praise Him, read your Bible as much as you possibly can, and keep on praying. Ask for grace and wisdom on how to handle these trials, and mercy to help you get through them, so that you can get to the point where you and your husband gain the patience, contentment and peace you desire (those things do take time!)
Jesus said you would have trials and tribulations.... As I read your post, I couldn't help but go back in time, when I also went thru what you are going thru. But as I look back on some of them, I realize, that tho they may have looked bad, the outcome was good, and in order for the outcome to be what I had prayed for, I had to go thru things that didn't appear to be good. "Don't Look at things as tho they appear. God knows the plans he has for you and they are not to hurt you, but help you get where it is he wants you to be. I finally learned to stop and say, ok God show me what it is you are wanting me to learn here. I sit here crying now, because of your wonderful post. You see, right now, I am a single mom. God blessed me last year with an awesome job. I was so far in debt due to a divorce and I was left with all the bills to pay. God blessed me with an awesome job, which I only worked a total of 12 weeks last year but I am almost debt free now because of thse 12 weeks. And all of a sudden this year, I lost my Job. I would have been debt free by the end of the year. The company told me They are changing the way they do things and I am not qualified to work for them anymore. I am able to draw unemployment which is a BIG amount each week, enabling me to stay home and teach my daughter at home, until March. (This is good) But I realize that I have to get a job in this time period. No jobs around here pay like that one did. I pray daily for Favor with the company that they WILL change thier minds and call me in. I have been feeling sorry for myself and wondering why God would give me this job, and then take it away. But then I read your post and replied to it. As I was reading my reply, it brought me to trears. I SHOULD BE DOING THIS NOW!!!!! tHANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THAT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aggie, I take no offense to you giggling at my little trial. LOL. It was not an example of a serious trial or one of any great significance...just a little story. Your prayers are not a problem. I get more of what you are saying after your last post. I think learning to be more patient is something best taught by the growth of the holy spirit inside of us. After all, patience is part of the fruit of the spirit, so if we are trying to live a sanctified life and a life lived as a sacrifice than those characteristics will shine through us more. I think learning to acquire these characteristics would be like banging our head against a wall. We already have it in us we just need to allow it to shine through. Ok...I know that didn't make much sense so I will end. I just can't put into words what I am trying to say exactly right now. At any rate, Aggie, your prayers are not making things worse. We need to remember that people also act of their own freewill. yes, God is in ultimate control of the situation but he does not force a person to react how we want them to. We have a choice. God does not need us for his will to be done...so our hands are not forced. I feel I am still making no sense....I need to relax my brain.
I know your prayers are very serious but on the lighter side........ maybe you just need to pray your DH meets a better mechanic.:angel:
LOL! Maybe Amy has the right idea. Seriously, sometimes things are simplier then they appear and we don't always see the forest through the trees...or something like that. Ok...my brain still is not back after having the baby...please forgive any stupid responses and feel free to enjoy them for your own amusement.
We are in a spiritual battle. We GROW in grace , patence and faith when we are in situations where we need to choose obedence and admit our inadiquicys to God and ask for His enabling and strength. This growth in holyness takes a life time . Lean on Him who is able to keep you from falling. Big Hugs !
If only he wasn't the mechanic!!!! hehe The things that broke were way odd, nothing he could have suspected or anything. One was a 4X4 and the front tire sheered off all the lug nuts. The tire didn't fall off thankfully. But it happened to happen at the same time and place the other trucks broke down? If it was just one truck we would have said bad luck, mechanic etc. But three!! We were waiting for lighting when we went to church. :shock: Dh teases me about my prayers all the time, when something happens he always askes me if he has happened to make it back onto my prayer list. like he ever gets off of it.
But I prayed for myself today, really felt like an awesome prayer time, dh mentioned that he had a great time praying for me without me saying anything to him as well. SOOOO I had a terrible day today, everything seemed to go wrong. I went shopping at Walmart and had spent two hours in there, the cashier made me so mad I left without buying a dang thing!!!!! After she called me a fraud, theif, and scammer. Because I had coupons, I guess it is a crime to clip them now-a-days. In a different store, I had another cashier lady tell me she didn't work in there (uh she had on the uniform and was standing behind the register) I messed up and made the kids miss story time, their favorite day of the week.:roll: Then I took them to MCD's and my 4 yo ate his burger, mine, and a small fry, my 2 yo dd at all of her burger and another fry. So I only got to eat a few fries, and drink some soda. I mean ds only weights 30 lbs where in the world did he put 2 double cheese burgers? But that was all of my blow fund so I had to wait until later to get a snack to tide me over until I could get home. I did get to go to the grocery store and use all of my coupons so walmart!! AHHH, I told dh and he laughed and said that I must have needed some training in righteness. hehe I then told him i was all trained out and needed some rest. That he needed some training in patience, so he should watch the kids and let me go to bed. Before he fell asleep he asked if I had any request for prayers tomorrow. Oh well, I guess God does have alot of work to do, I shouldn't fight it. It is also payback for giggling at ya'll. AVA don't worry you make sense to me, I have preggo brain so we still think somewhat alike.
