Last night we visited the inlaws. My MIL has been very resistant to the idea of homeschooling. Last night she and FIL confronted me about it. They wanted to know why I was homeschooling, and then went about telling me stories of their chiropractor who home schools and the kids don't read well. Point being? Do they not realize that they are basically saying they are afraid I'm too stupid to teach my kid? I was pretty annoyed, but since they brought it up I decided I'd bore them with every detail of the curriculum I have planned. When I could tell they were thoroughly sorry they asked, I kept going. On the way home I told my husband I was sorry I related my public school experiences in a PG manner, and should have shocked them with the real deal of what I experienced and asked them to defend their indifference and decision to subject their children to that. I have no problem with people deciding not to homeschool, but if I'm going to be hit with a verbal assault over my decision, why shouldn't I turn the tables? Hubby was largely silent, which ticked me off a little, but he did relate that our son is already beginning to read under mom's care, at the age of four, despite a late start after being adopted from Guatemala at over two years of age, and having to learn a new language. He also mentioned a story his coworker told him about his twin boys who were reading when they started Kindergarten. He would ask them what they learned at school and they would say, "Buh." When he said, "You guys already know that", they'd say, "I know, it's boring." But heaven forbid we try another approach. VENTING, sorry.
That could be annoying, no doubt!:roll: :roll: I have gotten into the habit of doing what you just said, make them defend their choice. When people say anything negetive I turn it on them and ask them why they believe that. Often people cannot defend what they believe because they believe only what they hear. When people ask you why, ask them why not? Patty
Fortunately I have not had many negative responses to hs'ing. I do like this approach, particularly if you see that they are offended that you would do something so radical with your children. I will keep this in mind. Sorry you are having such a hard time getting support from your inlaws. It must be difficult.
I think I would be so mad if anyone said anything to me about our decision to homeschool but so far that hasn't happened to us. I did have a nice experience happen at Walmart recently. A Walmart employee heard me and the girls as we were searching for a certain item in the school section and pointed out to us where it was and then showed us some cute sale items. We thanked her and after she hunted through a stack of plastic rulers to find the color Emily wanted I thanked her again. She said, " oh I was glad to do it. I always love to see you when you come in the store. You are so sweet and talk so nice to your daughters. You don't talk down to them or hurry them through. And you listen to them when they tell you something. That is so nice to see in here. We get a lot of parents who aren't so patient." I was so shocked I could hardly speak. I love my girls and I cherish every moment with them. I am not usually caught off guard but she really got me. I was so touched by her kind words. Beth
Now that's good! My parents aren't supportive- though they won't say that. But I continue to let them know what we are doing. And every time we talk they ask "when are you going to send her back to school?" I just tell them "she is in school and she's learned far more in the past 3 months homeschooling then she'd learn in an entire year at school and she's RETAINING it" That shuts em up lol. My mil on the other hand. She is such a beautiful person. I got an email from her today that made me cry. She told me she was proud of me and we were doing such a wonderful job with dd and nothing in the world could change this. And she's a woman with a "formal" education. I've not really received and negative points of view as far as us homeschooling- just the lack of interest from my mom. Dad asks a lot of questions and I think he really does support us but won't say so for fear of mom's wrath lol.
I am so sorry you had to go through that with your inlaws,my dd got asked the other day why she was'nt in school and she said "I am ,you don't have to sit in a clasroom to learn" smart kid! Beth i loved reading this and it makes me so proud when people say the same thing,we were looking for art supplies in our art shop and there was something specfic we wanted and it was on the bottom shelf so i ended up sitting on the floor with my dd searching through everything ,all the staff came looking and smiling at us as we were giggling and laughing ,we must of looked a sight
That is so neat Faith. If there is one thing I've learned since I've been homeschooling it's more patience. Before was always so rushed. I hated it. Running from here to there and then when she was in soccer- oh my goodness, insane. We were at a friends house the other day who has no children- no plans to have any. And his wife says she wouldn't have the patience. ANd I told her I haven't always been the most patient person, but it's definetly something that has come along with homeschooling.
You guys are giving me hope that I can become more patient, too. I'm sure we'll have more of this, but hopefully they'll see what he's learning and stop. This is the same MIL who a week or two after I told her I was homeschooling innocently asked if I'd registered him for kindergarten yet. Sigh. She tries to be very manipulative, but she's too obvious so she doesn't ever manage to control anyone. Depending on my mood it's either entertaining or extremely irritating. I just remember that she managed to turn out my wonderful husband (9 years today), and then I can forgive her rudeness.
ChelC---HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! We got married 10 years before you---our 19th Anniversary was on the 20th! My best wish is that you can always have a marriage like mine!!! Seriously, I have a wonderful marriage, so it's a heartfelt wish for you! :love:
I think one reason I defend mine is that they act like I am already making them defend thier choice... just hearing that I home school my kids I get words like " HOw can you do that? and Public school is okay for my kids..." etc, like I asked them the question haha.
Yes, TeacherMom, the very fact that we're homeschooling makes some people feel condemned that they're not. Happy Nineth, ChelC! I had a manipulative MIL, also, who managed to turn out the most wonder... Oh, well, I know I won't get by with saying that on this Spot! So, I'll just say that she and I somehow became friends before she was promoted to heaven. I'm thankful for that and hope that things will become less irritating for you, also.
I drove by the school my sons would have to go to if we did not homeschool (I've still got a few years b/f we do "formal" homeschool b/c they are both under the age 2) and on the bulletin board of upcoming events it said "Gang Awareness". Jeez, that is just too sad! That is a good reason for homeschooling IMO...
First of all...I think it was handled great! Second, do your in-laws realize it isn't their decision? lol. Third...when things come up with in-laws I feel the best approach is the allow the spouse to handle it. Sometimes relations between in-laws can be touchy. In order not to offend or cause more arguements....defer to the spouse. This is not a cop out....lol...this is so you can maintain a good relationship with the mil and fil. Now, there is nothing wrong with speaking or defending yourself...I just wouldn't let it get heated. If it continues to go in that direction than just say that this is a personal and private decision that both I and your son have made...maybe you should talk to him.
