At what grade/age should a child be able to do some things independently? Such as do a workbook page after the directions have been read to them. My son just turned 6 and is doing kindergarten and some 1st grade work, but will not do anything unless I am standing with him. If I try and walk away from him(even a few feet away) he will just write anything on the paper and say he is finished. Gurr!!! If I am standing beside him he will do every problem correct. This is even so on his handwriting. B's turn into P's and M's turn into W's if I am not standing there. Any suggestions? This is our first year homeschooling so I am at a loss on this one!
My 7 yr old son is nearly the same way. Unless he really likes what he is doing, he needs me to sit there with him while he does it. I am hoping eventually he will do more on his own. I find something I can work on as well, so it isn't so agrivating for me to sit there and watch him.
My 4th grader is alot better at working independently than my 3rd grader. It could be personality related, but also just different maturity levels. I expect them to be able to work completely on their own by 6th grade, but until then I know I will have to be glued to their side to get anything done. For a K or 1st grader, it's pretty normal to need the constant direction.
I think it depends on the child. I think it's an emotional maturity issue more than REALLY not being able to do it on their own. My son is 6, some days he'll work on things independently, some days it'll be almost exactly the same thing-but he needs me right beside him.....
I agree. I think maturity (or "school readiness" in younger cases) plays a part, but I also think personality is a huge piece of the puzzle. My oldest son has a very intense, driven personality. He started 1st grade when he was 3.5, and it was totally his idea. In fact, he'd been begging for a year at that point to "do school" before we gave in. He did almost all of 1st grade (and then some) on his own last year. We're doing some 2nd and some 3rd this year (he's almost 5 now), and there are days when he'll zip through everything on his own in 30 minutes, and there are days when he'll drag out the whole day and do nothing but complain about having to write. (I've only recently started requiring writing, because his physical therapist told me to... his motor skills are delayed.) I know writing is the reason for the change in attitude, because given any other task (except math sometimes), he'll happily work alone. If he has to write 10 letter d's before moving on to another subject, you can bet it'll be 3:00 the following day before they're done if I'm not standing over him watching each little pencil mark. Sheesh!
Well I tend to think it is a readiness thing. Each child is different and so wait until you think he can handle it. I understand your frustration with sitting there though. Some days I would rather be anywhere then doing dictation with my five year old. But you do what needs doing and it will pay off down the road
It's also a "taught" skill. My kids are 16, 14, and (almost) 11. All three work well independently, but it's something I've worked at. So many of you said your kid "needs" you there. So start wherever he's at. If you need to sit with him, then you sit with him. Sit next to him and write a grocery list or balance the budget or whatever. Do your thing while he does his. If he wants constant attention, tell him to finish that row by himself, and then you'll check it. If he's willing to just have you in the room, you can do dishes or something. But gradually encourage him to do more on his own, more without your presence. Believe me, IT'S WORTH IT!!! On the days when I'm feeling so sick, I can give them general assignments from my bed and I know they'll do it. Or if I have to take one somewhere, the other two will carry on just fine. My middle one was the most difficult. She had trouble attending, and I would constantly have to remind her to keep her mind on her work. Northernmomma, I use to put a copy of the dictation taped on my cupboards so I could wash dishes or get dinner ready while I dictated, lol!
It depends on the child. I had one child have no problem with independent work at that age. My other son is that age and he will work independently sometimes. I have to keep checking on him because he is a big doodler and doodles can get so excessive I can't make out what he had written for answers.
:lol: My son is DEFINITELY a doodler! It drives me insane to come in and find a whole page worth of unrecognizable art work rather than a page of letters or words.
I agree with Jackie. My boy is 6 too. and I had such a hard time, because he wouldn't do anything without me right there beside him. But I have to have him do his "homework" on his own. So I have rules set out, just like anything else in the house, he is to sit and get it done (maybe 3 worksheets that should take less then 20 minutes) . If he doesn't then he has a discipline issue. He mostly looses free time to play outside. He has tried to get away with not doing it correctly and has learned that it just takes a double amount of time when he has to fix it. But he also has learned to try things on his own. I figured out that I was "helping" to much in not words but he had learned how to read my body language and eyes and such. So when he started to make a mistake I would do something unknowingly and he would change what he was doing. That is why he "needed" me to sit with him. Making him do things on his owned really showed me what he knew and what he didn't know. I make a point to be gone during his tests and such for that reason. I have done this with my 4 yo as well, who just does handwriting copy work. I have been teaching her on purpose to work without me there. I kind of think it is like ferberizing with the school work. But then again this is just my two kids, and everybody is different.
I also was going to add that I write a list of what he is to do on his own and he goes through it and marks off what he has done.
Thanks for the input! My son is very adhd and even on medication he is still so high strung that I have to stay on him not to fly his pencil around the room. lol One of my biggest things is after he writes one letter he says "right mom" I often tell him I will check it when he is done and the next letter it is "right mom". I often want to scream and wind up laughing to keep from doing it. So I believe it may be the fact he believes I think it is funny. NOT! I even go as far as turning my back not to look at what he is doing until he is done with X number problems that way he can't go by my eyes to change the ansewer. I do not test him at this point (sometime after Christmas we will do spelling tests) because he is so high strung it will not do any good. The only test he has had is simple 1+1=2 problems.
Kim, have you checked out www.headsupnow.com ? It's a site run by a hs'er who has three kids (two graduated), two of which are ADD/ADHD. She has all kinds of advice, as well as products that can help with an ADD/ADHD child. One simple one is a beanbag filled with sand. You put it on the kid's lap. It's too heavy to play with, and the added weight is a reminder to stay in your seat. My absolute favorite (which I would have used constantly when my children were little if I had known about it then) is the Electronic Hall Pass. I would constantly tell a child to go get something, and they'd "get lost" on the way. I'd be busy with another child, and not realize it until a half-hour later. Well, this device is a two-part timer. You set it and hand it to the kid. After x-number of minutes, it goes off (reminding the kid where he's suppose to be). The base unit ALSO goes off (reminding YOU the kid isn't back yet). Both then continue to make noise until the kid's unit is resting back with the base.
My 6yo dd is pretty good, honestly. But really I think that is as much personality as anything else. She's always been the sort of kid who could play by herself, even when she was a baby. (And was the sort of kid you would have to go check up on because she was TOO quiet.. only to see her still sitting there, playing with her toys happy as could be.) She does seriously lack confidence in reading, though, so anything involving that is very slow.. with a lot of 'right mama's attached. Now my 9yo ds is extremely social, and even at 9 will NOT do his homework (still in ps) without me sitting with him. If I get up for a second, he won't get anything done until I'm there with him again. He doesn't want me checking his work, and even usually doesn't want help. He mostly just wants company, I think.
I am still working on getting them to do the work independently. It is something my kids don't do naturally. They each crave the attention of having me near them. We are getting better about it though. It has just taken some time and instruction from me. Now that they know what to do when they get stuck and I am busy with their sister things are going much smoother.
I have been a little more firm today about him sitting at his table doing his work alone and he actually got a 3 problems done without getting up and having to show me and ask if it was right. I guess it's a start. I told him I would take him to McDonalds if he did all of his handwriting alone today. Maybe it will work!
Kim, I used to buy my son the individual sized frozen pizzas and used those as rewards when I am trying to get him to do something that I know he can do, but he just needs the motivation to try hard. I do it all the time or even often but it does work!
Depends on what you are doing and the age. My younger ones will sit and do handing writing and a math worksheet while their oldest is doing the same thing. I am still in the area but am not right next to them. Now they didn't do this at first and took about a month of them learning to sit and do these two 5-10 minute exercises. Then I move onto us work with the younger two while my oldest goes off into the other room (quieter) to do her independent work. I am teaching a 5, 6 and 10 year olds. My oldest really stared doing her own work last year.
My son is 8 and doing 3rd grade work. It wasn't really until this year that he could do much independently. And he still likes it better when I do things with him. My dd 5 on the other hand prefers to work alone. She'll ask me how to do the next section in her workbook and sit on the floor and do it. It all depends on the kid! LOL! Edie
