My 2 yo is fighting for homeschool attention!! I don't know how to deal with it, and it's getting to the point where it is a little much. My 5yo is in K/Grade 1, and every time i'm working with him my 2yo wants me to do HIS work. I give him his own worksheets, pencils, crayons, paints. I put on dvd's for him. It only works for a little while, until he wants my attention on his work only. And he will scream and scream until i leave my other son and help him with his "work". Screaming "Look at me, Look at me" "Help me". When doing flashcards, he will cry if i ask my older son for the answer instead of him. I ask them both, but he doesn't want his brother to answer. When using magnetic letters, he wants all the letters and doesn't want his brother to touch them. I tried to get him his own, but then he doesn't want me to work with his brother, he only want me to help him! I'm happy he likes to work, but i don't know if it's a jealous 2yo thing, or what! (I'm also expecting in July). I don't want him to feel left out, though i am trying everything i can think of to include him. He just wants my attention only and i can't give any to anyone else. I've tried working when he naps, but that can be anytime of the day...if at all. It didn't work out too well, though for now it's my only option. I'm just looking for a bit of advice, especially if anyone has dealt with the same thing before. Thanks
Okay I had a really good reply and it just scroll bared away I hate my computer ! lol Anyway what I said in a nutshell is; 2s want attention regardless- is the stage. So what I did was to have the stuff in a spot he could go to ( we had actual school desks for each kid then) I gave my younger the option of playing games, toys etc, while I worked to show the first one what to do. Then I walked away and worked with the 2 yr old. We did not allow the older one to interrupt but had them raise their hand if they needed help. Eventually I got white boards and had the child write what they needed on that and I would come back to them. Give copy work or an easy to do on their own job while you work with 2 yr old. The 2 needs to know they are important but that you will have to take turns as teacher with them. secondly-- address the good things as you can see them or know that 2 yr old is doing it. Focus on K1 while teaching what to do, but then comment on how good the other one is playing, coloring or whatever quietly and how proud you are of him, etc, even if he is starting to get noisy. focus on the positives! Consistence is very important at that age too so be sure you do like a circle time , weather etc with both kids then break them up to their 'jobs' for school. the one can do the things you mentioned , playdoh, legos are good for longer focus and fine motor skills.
oops I clicked send apparently while talking with my college student! lol! Okay, so setting up places to play away from where you teach k1 is a good plan too. SAVE ZONES of course, but playdoh can be done in kitchen while you are doing K in family room or whatever your set up is. I sent my ds out side to play when I had to teach the older two, he was my most active need mommy attention boy lol. DD just wanted to do school too at 2 and I got her set up on a preschool/k1 program on computer , I have a pic of her I am going to scan and put on my blog when I blog some ideas for multi aged homeschooling later this week. She is about 2 yrs old an playing what we called the Gruzzle game , but it was actually putting letters in order, and shapes worked in there some place, Scholastic now has a ton of preschool programs! Trust you two yr to be able to follow computer stuff but follow them on it for a while with YOU doing the clicking of the mouse until they want to, then you put their hand on the mouse then when they say ME DO ( inn other words of course) you let them know that this is special for only when you have to teach the other one without interruption! When it is special thing for just them it makes a lot of difference, then keep it that way! DO NOT LET K use this 'work' its ony for 2!~ let him be special in that. K can do something else not same program though, while you work with 2, that way he sees it works both ways but his is JUST HIS no one else gets to do it,just him, and mom too I guess eh?
TeacherMom has some very good advice here. If I can add a few things I did when mine were younger... As TeacherMom said, positive re-enforcement is very important. At the start of a lesson, say things like "look how well ~ is working!" and "~ is being so quiet and polite, I'm very proud of him!" and so on, about both your sons. It might be easier at the start when your 2-year-old is still behaving himself. Really layer it on. If he happens to be quiet at later points, praise him also. You can decrease the frequency of praises gradually as he forms a habit of good behaviour, but in the meantime, praise just about whenever he gives you the opportunity to. It sounds like he wants attention (as pretty much all 2-year-olds do) and that he wants to be like his older brother. Use this. If you praise the older brother for certain things, then he'll want the same kind of praise. It's already fantastic that he wants to learn alongside his brother. You just need to be sneaky and tweak his behaviour a little. If he screams and you relent and give him attention, he learns that screaming works. I would completely ignore him when he tries to get attention in a way like this (keep in mind that no child can scream for very long before wearing themselves out) and say things to your other son such as "I'm so glad you're working so quietly and well. I wish ~ would do the same" or, "I really like it how when you want my help you raise your hand. It's so good when you do that." and so on. This way you are telling your 2-year-old how to correct his behaviour without rewarding him with direct attention. It might be painful at first, but if you are consistent with refusing to give him attention when he is being unreasonable, then in a very short time he'll be improving. As TeacherMom said, consistency is the key, although it'll be hard at first. With not wanting to take turns when answering questions, I'd use similar tricks. Ignore and compliment the other son on how nice it is when he raises his hand or when he lets others have a turn at answering questions. Anyway, these are what I used when my kids each began a similar thing... it was very quickly quashed and there have been no recurrences of that sort of behaviour since. Putting up with screaming is the hardest bit, but they quickly figure out it doesn't work and isn't worth the effort.
I found things that my older could do alone, and used that time to "do school" with the younger when they were like that. Now the younger understands that he has to take turns. I'd say to whichever child, "It's __ turn to work with mom now, so you'll have to do something by yourself for a few minutes. What do you want to work on?" It helps to get the child (either child) to participate in choosing activities so that it seems it was "his idea" all along. I also have no problem sending a screaming child to their room to calm down! I do NOT tolerate tantrums. Crying because you're hurt or need something is fine, but crying because you don't get your way is NEVER acceptable. We'll send either child to their room to sit on their bed with no toys/stuffed animals. They're allowed to come out when THEY'RE ready to come out. That means no attitude. It can be 30 seconds, or it can be all afternoon (especially if the real reason for the tantrum is that they need a nap... LOL!) Their choice!
I'm probably going to come off sounding really mean, but this sounds like a discipline issue. He needs to have some consequences for screaming at you. If he's not napping on a consistent schedule, I would work on that too. He needs some boundaries set up. Two is not too young to start learning respect for others. In fact, it's probably the best time to teach this. I have a very strong willed child and at that age, he was incredibly "high maintenence". It all had ot be about him or he would completely come undone. It was exhausting, but I had to really put my foot down on his demands. I wasn't about to become a slave to a two yr olds whim. On the bright side, he's 9 and getting better and better at self-control and helping others. It does get better, but it's alot of work.
All good responses. When my nearly 2y/o screams at me I put her in her room until she stops so she learns screaming doesn't get attention it gets isolation, she can come out when she's finished. Being good gets praise, hi-fives and our own little sign for 'choice'. A timer helps too, "when the timer goes off it's _____ turn to get mums help." It's a stage, it'll pass, and be replaced with something else that leave you scratching your head/pulling your hair
Thanks for the advice. They were all really good ideas (and funny too) I'm going to try separating their work time...meaning, i'm going to give my 5yo some copywork or something independent he can do on his own, while i give my youngest some 1 on 1 school time. He wants to be like his big brother all.the.time. He even copies everything he says and does! So no wonder he wants his schoolwork like him, "duh" to me! I'll see how this works before i deem it a discipline issue (though i don't think your comment was mean at all ). I say this only because other than with this little section of the day, he is well-behaved...other than typical 2yo behavior. I feel he only wants attention, and i don't want to discipline him for that. So i'll address that first. I will talk to him about his screaming/crying if it does happen though. Thanks, i'll definitely come back to visit this thread again to refresh on the ideas lol
I have the same issue with my 3 yr old, plus I'm chasing my 1 yr old. Right now I'm enjoying alone time as my 1 yr old is sleeping, my 3 yr old and my 6 yr old are watching a TV show. I should be doing something for me, like reading, but all I can seem to want to do is sit here, read forums, look up the best deal on Roald Dahl books and sip my coffee while I think about how I will soon have to take them all on again full force!! Ok, so I LOVE my kids, but I totally understand the feeling of neglecting the younger one. I feel so bad for my middle child, my only girl. She's very needy. I have pattern blocks, coloring, tangrams, puzzles, books, matching games, her own binder full of "school work" (ABC's) to practice and she never wants to do any of it. Normally I can get her to do the pattern blocks, or coloring, but we have to switch it up, sometimes we use markers, other times crayons and sometimes colored pencils! I'm finding that she really enjoys coloring when my 6 yr old is coloring, while they quietly color together, I read them a story. Right now we're reading James & the Giant Peach, which will be then followed by the movie as soon as we're done! It's definitely something she is looking forward to. Anyway, this too shall pass. Sometimes I hate that saying, but it's so true!! It will get easier, and at this point your 5 yr old doesn't HAVE to sit and do a ton of school work, some days it just won't get done. Another thing that seems to work well is, printing coloring pages off the internet, she feels like it's better than regular coloring books we already have! I'll print a few for her here and there and it keeps her occupied for a little bit!
