Next week is promotion Sunday at church. The kids move up to the grades they will be in the fall. So my 10 year old will be moving into the youth group. No more AWANA for her.. I'm really torn over this. I have a problem with her being in a group of kids that are older than she is and knows more about certain things than she does.. If you know what I mean.. One of the girls in the group is pregnant and is only 14.. I'm not judging the sweet girl. Just saying that things go on that I'm not pleased with and I'm not ready to let my daughter in that mix. My boys are both there but for some reason I'm having a hard time letting dd10 go.. Am I being weird about this?? I'm not one for rushing my children to grow up too soon but I don't want to hold her back either.. Your views on this please.. Be honest.. Edited to say that she and 3 other girls will be moving up and they are all friends. The girls are a year or so older than she is due to birthdays that are in the school year. My dd will be 11 in August. These others are nearing 12 and 13..
When I had doubts about one of mine being ready to go into the youth group I went and talked to my sister who is our youth minister. She and I talked about what I was worried about and she kept her eyes open to make sure everything went okay those first few meetings. She tells me if she thinks something is to hard for this particular child to handle and if I feel the same way we find something else for him to do that evening. He has grown so much and enjoys Youth a lot. Maybe you can go speak to the Youth leader about your concerns. It really helped me feel more at ease.
we have a youth group at the church we attend and they suggested my then 10yo go to. It was moslty teens in the group and I refused. She will go to Sunday School. They have asked again for this fall and again I am refusing because I don't think it's a good choice for her right now. Again mostly teens with maybe one or two her age. She will take another year of Sunday School. If you prefer her not to go to the youth group could she help out with the Awanas? If were were still back at our last home my DD had planned to help with the Awanas after her years were over with it. Back to the Sunday School thing, if the church allowed it my daughter would help with the younger children. I was told it has something to do with Legal and because we are not in the US. So Sunday School it is until we leave.
Well, she went to the youth last night. Had a BLAST and I seriously don't feel right holding her back now. My husband talked to them about it last night and they have a transitional class for the 6th graders that goes through the summer.. Hubby doesn't seem to have suck a probroblem with it, So I guess I'm going to have to suck it up and let my baby go. She has to grow up sometime.. ((sigh))
I'm not always a fan of youth group either, but I do let my ds15 and dd12 go to activiites. I am appalled at what some of the girls wear and some language of my ds's facebook friends (now de-friended) use. We just discuss it and go on. Dd12 doesn't always feel comfortable. I don't force her to go to those activities. I prefer family activities, but sadly few churches focus on the family as a whole anymore.
We just got a new youth leader from up North, His sister just moved here this month and is the 6th grade girls teacher. He also brought with him a friend. I haven't had an issue with the youth pastor yet, but his friend caused quite an uproar after he arrived. On Friday the 13th he showed "The Quaranteene" during a non-church related function. I had no idea that was the type of movie that would've been shown or they would never had gone in the first place. I was NOT happy once I went to focus on the family and looked at the review. Apparently there were numerous F-words along with other "bad" words and even using the Lord's name in vane. But yet the movie was allowed to still be shown. First off, the movie should NEVER have been shown to begin with. It's rated R. Secondly, the first inappropriate scene or word and it should've been shut off. The youth pastor was not present and didn't approve the movie but his friend was. He didn't seem to have an issue with it.. Just makes you wonder what else goes on when you "think" your children are in a safe atmosphere. It's VERY irritating.. I'm considering getting involved with the youth Dept. so I can keep track of what's going on, BUT then again, I don't want to be considered the doting parent who is keeping her children in a bubble. KWIM.. I mean, we already homeschool and NOBODY else with teens does this. There are only 3 families that are homeschooling their kids in our church and we have a decent size church.. Around 200-250 people.. The youth gets together often to just hang out so that's why I call it a non church related function. I may step on my kids toes, but there may be a limit to how much time they spend at these get togethers and how often they go. Another of their favorite games is called murder in the DARK.. Hello,, teens, raging hormones, and DARK are NOT a good mix.. Or Sardines in the dark.. Boy and girl teens squished together in the dark is not my idea of clean safe fun for a christian boy or girl.. As far as the inappropriate movie that was shown goes, We talked to the boys about it. Ds13 said he felt uhcomfortable watching it, but ds14 seemed to think it was ok because people from the church didn't seem to have a problem with it.. UGH! We chalked it up to a mistake BUT not OK. And it gave us an opportunity to talk more about peer pressure and standing up for what you know is right even when it makes you feel uncomfortable..
I don't think a ten yr old should be considered "youth". Our church considers Youth to be 7th grade and up. I even had a hard time getting my dd10 moved up to the 5th grade class! I'm not sure I would be comfortable at all with my 10yr old in with a bunch of teenagers.
I agree, 10 seems to be rather young for youth group. Our youth group doesn't even start until age 12 just for that very reason. I would not hesitate to become involved. Over the years of serving at our church I have noticed one thing that has really irritated me. It seems whenever someone has a complaint about something, instead of trying to change it for the better they just walk away from it. Example: we have someone who wants to better our Sunday School curriculum. They want someone else to do it though and want no part of actually making it happen...they just feel the need to complain about it! IMO, it does the situation a huge disservice. KWIM? So, if you feel there are things that can be done better, by all means I would certainly become involved. Not only will it make YOU feel better, but I am sure it will also make OTHER parents feel better about sending their children to the youth group!
She will be 11 in a few months but still, I REALLY think that they should be in 7th grade to be in the youth.. They mature a LOT in the transition from 6th-7th grade..
Praying!!!! I couldn't imagine my 11 year old in Youth Group either!!!! Of course, I'm more for the keeping the family together for church side of it all. Before I became a believer, I was raised in an Episcopalian church. We HAD to sit through the service every Sunday. The whole thing. Sunday School was AFTER church while the parents were mingling and drinking coffee and eating donuts. My step-mother was the kindergarten Sunday School Teacher, so I was a helper. Our youth group did NOT have a sunday school class, we were expected to serve in some capacity. Youth group was held at a different time than church. Anyway....we home church (and home school...we're REAL freaks!!!), so church is everyone. Not sure what we'll do when my oldest is of real age to join a youth group. Most of the local churches where my friends have kids, I really wouldn't want them in the youth group. We'll see. Praying for your daughter!!!!
Wow!!! I thought I was the only one with these same opinions! Good to know I am not totally "off my rocker". My 12 year old seems so much more innocent than the kids I see her age in youth group. Maybe because we homeschool and she is not exposed to certain things. I do not agree with all the "activity" associated with the youth group. And always trying for them to "be a group" and "do stuff". I understand we are family in Christ but it seems to put such an emphasis on connecting with others and not connecting with Christ. What if your friends in youth group decide to do something you know you shouldn't....{which some of these kids do} ....chances are if my kid is relying on them for connection, she may do it too.....Prov. 22:15. I think church has become to modern for my taste.....my husband does not agree with me, he thinks my daughter needs to "do" more. We agree to disagree. My daughter does not like doing all these activities and extra stuff. She helps me serve on the Sun. I do my serving, she has always served since she was around 6.
Mine, too, and I want to keep it that way! We are the only homeschooling family on our church, so no one else gets it!
When I was in Youth Group with my church when I was young, my Mother would often stay around to help with the "Snack Shack." At first, it was kind of embarrassing to have my Mother there all the time, but I saw that my friends would talk to her, and would genuinely like having an older adult to talk to (Our Youth Pastor was in his early 20's). Looking back, as a parent myself now, I think that she was absoulutely right to stay around and be a "voice of reason" when she was needed. Like someone else mentioned, too many people dislike things in their church, but instead of helping, they either dislike it and badmouth it (or just continue to feel uncomfortable about it), or they walk away from the church. Neither is a good option. If you are so uncomfortable, it has been my experience to follow your gut. Either have DD wait, or go with her. And good luck!
You have to be kidding. Since when is a 10 yo a teen. I don't even like it when they put 12 yo kids in the youth group. Let kids be kids. We stayed in children's church until we turned 13 and would have been glad to have stayed longer. I don't blame you for being bothered. Maybe you could see if you can start a middle school group.
my suggestion if you are not sure about it is to voluenteer to help out with differnt things in the Youth Group. This has been my way of dealing with problems with my kids groups in the past. If I am not comfortable with it, my kid wont be. So I have hung around with other adults, allowed the child to adjusted.Only once have I had to actually make one of my kids go to youth group thought, the rest they begged and I just made them wait.
