Raising a Gender-Neutral Baby...

Edited to remove pictures

 

Carol...the only reason why I could see him being confused for a girl is the fact that he is BEAUTIFUL!!! I mean that as a compliment! He is going to be a heartbreaker when he is older! HE IS A DOLL!!!!

I love his curls too. I would probably feel the same way. Kids in curls, boy or girl, are heartmelting.

 

OH my! He is just so cute!!! I wouldn't be able to cut those curls either!

 

Agreed, CarolLynn, your boy is just stunning!!! How sweet!!! I love his hair no matter how it's worn!!!

You know, (the corn rows) that's exactly how Will Smith's son wore his hair in Karate Kid - and no one questioned HIS gender!

 

Thank you for the sweet comments.

kbabe,
The joke in our house is that Jaden Smith is actually trying to copy DS's hair. Actually, I love Jaden's hair. Have you seen him wear it curly?

Or in twists? (I sometimes do this to DS's hair as well.)


This is considered really good black hair. But for the unfamiliar white person, it may be confusing. KWIM You are right, no one is confused about Jaden's gender, probably because he is older. I think DS is pretty masculine, and as he gets older I am sure it will become less and less confusing for those who are unfamiliar.

 

Carol- As PP said, he is adorable! And BTW, I love his hair! I always wished that my kids had curly hair! And the way you have him dressed, I don't see how there could be a question of whether is a boy or girl. Sometimes people just open their eyes and look. With both of mine, when they were babies, I have had them in very gender specific clothing, and STILL people would call it wrong. Oh, well! I would just gently correct them, thank them, if they were giving a complement, and move on. No big deal.

As to the family raising their child gender neutral, I think it is awful. Their other older boy is obviously wanting it to be made known that he is a boy. Also, with regard to them "wanting" to dress like a girl some days, do they not think it has to do with the fact that at a young age (before ages 5-7) boys tend to identify more with the Mother than with the Father. It is simple psychology. The fact is that most boys will grow out if it, and start identifying more with their fathers, simply because it is a part of growing up. Those poor kids are going to be so confused.

 

That little one wearing the orange truck just like my little Jazion at church! And the picture with it wild...imagine that pulled back in one big...pony tail, but it's too thick to call it that! That's how my one guy use to wear it, and he DID look like a girl. But he's got cornrows now, and it really makes him much more like a boy. I can see how the cornrows are much easier to deal with. You children are beautiful!!!

 

I think the parents are idiots.
And I agree that your little boy is C-U-T-E, Carol!!!! LOVE the curls!

 

Man, that Jaden Smith is a little hottie! LOL Looks just like his dad! Always thought Will Smith was good looking.

LOVE the twists, that's gotta be hard to do - and his hair must be REALLY long if it was straightened to be that long in twists!

Still....the parents in this article are the epitome of what is wrong with the world today! Just my .02

 

Actually, the twists are very easy. You just wrap the hair around your finger then pull it out. The hair stays twisted. I'm sure Jaden's hair is very long. My DS's hair when pulled out straight is 11 inches long on top, and when wet it goes half way down his back.

 

Our sister church is multi-cultural, with a Black pastor. He came to preach one night, and his daughter did a drama presentation. She had her hair all decked out in braids. And Taleyah JUST HAPPENED to have her hair JUST LIKE HER. Taleyah (inner-city kid from a VERY difficult situation, grade 1) was THRILLED to see this older high school Black gal (great role-model!!!) with her hair the same!

 

I might add, that, assuming all the "parts" are intact as the article implies, the only way they can keep it secret is to not let ANYONE ELSE change the diaper.... So what do you do if G'ma babysits?

 

Sounds like these people don't trust their parents enough to let them babysit.

 

Well, allowing no one else to babysit until the child is totally independent with toileting would be VERY trying, if you ask me!!!

 

Here's Rachael with cornrows when she came home from Jamaica last summer. (The red on her forehead is mostly paintball, with a little blood mixed in for good measure! She's hardcore.)

 

I honestly don't think there is a such thing as "gender neutral". Here's why... God chose to make us male and female. You either have a Y chromosome or you don't. Sure, some are XXY or XYY, but if there's a Y in there somewhere, you're male. You might have a tiny penis. You might have extra hormones that give you part of the female organs, but you're still carrying around the defining chromosome. You're male.

I wrestled with that question several years ago after seeing an episode on TV about people born with ambiguous genitalia. How would they perform the roles God gave them in the Bible? If God really meant what he said about homosexuality, people wouldn't have a right to simply choose (for themselves or their children) which gender to take. I saw family after family being told to raise their sons or unknowns as if they were girls, and many times, it backfired. Nature doesn't work that way. There's nothing wrong with having a strong female or a sensitive male, but there IS a problem when people decide to play God with their child. A simple blood test is all that's needed. You either have a Y or you don't. Period.

 

And...

No, it's actually not that simple. Even the chromosomal tests can be indeterminate.

What if you test as XY in one part of your body, and XX in another? That's a real condition - the people are called "chimeras", and they are actually similar to Siamese twins, but they appear normal on the outside. While full out chimeras are rare, most of us do have some of our ancestor's (mostly maternal) living cells floating around in us.

Also there are conditions in which a girl can carry a Y chromosome, but appear fully female and even believe (why shouldn't she, after all?) that she's female. In fact, these "boys in a girls bodies" tend to be very beautiful, as they are typically tall, have hairless arms and legs, and are quite well endowed. What makes us appear physically male or female has to do with our reaction to hormones in the womb. They direct our development. But some boy babies bodies can't process androgens. So they grow up looking like (quite attractive!) girls. It's called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.

What sort of role does God intend you to play if you look like a girl but have the chromosomes of a boy?

And what if you have the physical girl parts AND the boy parts, at the same time? More than one girl has had her "boy bit" lopped off in the quest to make her look "normal". But what's normal for her? Isn't she the way God made her? Doctors sometimes assign sex surgery to infants on the basis that it's easier to "make an innie" than "an outie". How is that fair? How does that acknowledge God's plan?

Intersex issues are often not as simple as a chromosomal test, unfortunately. There's even physical structures of the brain that come into play, as men and women's brains are quite different.

 

Or their parents aren't around. When my kids were babies my mom was in Romania and my mother-in-law was in Northern Ontario.

 

They are actually already homeschooling their older son, because he got teased in school...

I wonder why they are making such a big deal of keeping the gender secret. They are already letting their older two sons dress any way they want...why not do that with the youngest as well? The kids have the freedom to pick out a pink dress if they want to, as it said in the article.

I think this is yet another sad ploy of people wanting to be famous for one reason or the other. Now reporters will follow them around to see what gender the baby is. Ridiculous...

Also, how do they refer to the baby in public? Do they say "yes, thank you, he/she looks great. he/she was cranky this morning. He/she is a great napper."
Or do they say "it"????
ugh!

 

As much as I agree with most of your post, I would like to point out that the Bible does talk about people with ambiguous genitalia. I can't remember what the Bible calls it, but I believe it states those people are commanded to remain single, yadda yadda yadda...can't remember it all.