Amie, I think you did the right thing. I have un-friended people before who took up alot of space on FB with nothing but trash,or negativity or crude jokes or whatever. If you are trying to surround yourself with a certain atmosphere, you have to filter some things. people will get their feelings hurt, but you know what you need to be a healthy person.
Your thread reminds me of a very dear friend who, for some time now, has been fighting a losing battle with cancer. Not once have I ever heard him complain, even though he's often in pain. If anyone has the 'right' to complain, he does. Instead, whenever anyone needs help at church, he's always the first to volunteer, and he never fails to attend an evangelism event. He works harder than any of us, even though he is now rather frail. So, if ever I'm tempted to complain, I just think of his example. Any time spent whining and complaining (ultimately rather self-serving) can be put to so much better use (by serving others)!
I think there is a difference when someone is needing help with an issue and when someone's life is tainted with negativity and nothing is right EVER. I tend to be a melancholy person and I think realistically. I also fight thinking negatively. I am glad I know enough about myself to know to watch out for it. That being said, my family sees my struggles more than others. I would be willing to bet if you asked my co-workers, they would think I think mostly positively. My way of dealing with others has changed drastically since my early 20's. I used to be a very grouchy and negative person to be around. God has really helped me realize how blessed I am and even if I go through tough times, I am still blessed. Maybe you could explain to them (although, it sounds like you already did) that you don't mind helping with a problem sometimes or hearing about something bad sometimes, you just don't want the entire FB relationship to be about the downside of things. Yes, as Christians we should seek to help people. Sometimes the help they need is to know that how they are acting/speaking is bringing other people down. Sometimes people need to hear that they are wrong, but they won't like it. Another thought: If people say you aren't being Christian, they need to re-evaluate how being negative can be thought of as being Christian. Not that they cannot mention a problem or seek prayer or advice, but they need to look at it in the light of the fact that they have a Savior that loves them and will always be there for them.
:love: I haven't read the other responses but I would assume that anyone who has a FB account considers their FB page/status/update or whatever you wanna call it, theirs! This may be the only place these individuals have to vent. If their posts are always negative I would truly thank God that my life wasn't so hard that I find it necessary to post negativity daily and I would pray for them and their difficult life. I am sure the fire storm of responses you received totally caught you off guard. When people are hurting for what ever reason, sometimes they have a knee-jerk reaction. They probably feel the same way you are feeling about them right now. There is always so much going on behind the scenes in everyone's life and that is why the saying, "you have to walk a mile in their shoes" is such an appropriate saying. You have several options, ignore them, hide them or un-friend them. I have friends who have posted emotional type stuff but I have never thought about them being negative, I see their need for friendship and compassion so I either make them a card or send them a Warm Fuzzy. I only have about 40 friends on my FB page because I prefer for them to be close friends that I care about and not acquaintances. I am not saying that your reaction is wrong or un-Christian like, that is between you and God, not for me to judge. I think that you had good intentions when you posted but it came across wrong to others. Do what you need to do in order to feel good and to keep a positive tone on your FB page. If these people are not close friends and they suck the life out of you, then you need to move on. (((( ))))
Amie, I think you are right. Sure you ruffled feathers but negative people love to complain about something. besides, since when is a negative attitude Christlike? Not even that...it's hard to always hear negative things when you are trying to adopt the new attitude you mentioned. If you struggle with this..than you are doing the right thing. I will say I thought your status sounded a bit harsh...it did not reflect the idea that you are turning over a new leaf or trying to hold true to your conviction as much as you were frustrated. Yet, if I would have checked "like" by your status. So, I can see how someone sensitive might take it the wrong way. However, you cannot control other people's reactions anyway. Oh and I do agree with your status...just trying to see why other's reacted as they did. Oh and I am also one to think that all the complaining and griping needs to stay off status updates. It brings everyone down and causes more to complain. It's a bad seed that blooms all too quickly into a deeply rooted negative weed. We need to be careful with FB status updates. I have almost got rid of people due to their status updates. I don't want to hear gripes, cussing or junk either. FB should be fun and maybe every now and then a light vent or something to let a mass of people know aobut quickly...but nothing more. IMO
I think one thing that we don't see here is the type of things the people are being negative about. It is one thing for someone to "talk" about having a real life struggle: whether that is cancer, a child with a disease, a loss of a job, or any number of things that can take a person's life and turn it upside down. It is another thing to always complain that your husband is a no good _________ because he won't take the trash out or help with the cleaning. It is another thing when someone always complains that their job stinks because Sally Sue's desk is closer to a window. It is another thing when someone always thinks that people give them a raw deal. I have a co-worker like this--she seems to think that when she is assigned to a certain line of machines (I work in a factory) that they always do this to her when the truth is that we all have to work the harder lines sometimes. Sure we all have complaints, but some of us hold some back and deal with things the best way we can and try to be thankful for the blessings in our life.
wow, I don't know where to being. I agree with something everyone said. First of all I think now this is just me I believe some people even if they just know the person a little add them, I think there's a race to see who has the most friends on there list. Well me I don't put anyone on I don't know that well or have know something about them. Second I agree with Mamabear some people have a lot to complain about and maybe just maybe this is there only way out they have no one else or place to go to let it out. I think if it was me if it bother you that much I would de friend them not say anything on the board if they pm I would let them know and go from there. But, I try to understand my friends to some degree.... yes some people do complain alot but some do have alot to complain about. Amie you are a good person and you have to do what is best for you and your family. But, if it was me I would of just de friend them or ignore them. I do that alot if I don't want to read about some one complaining or bragging all the time I don't read it thats the joy of pushing the buttons up or down.
In regard to the person who triggered this, what she was complaining about was.. well.. everything. I mean it. She spent a whole day going on and on about how she wanted to go to coffee at a certain place the night before but she couldn't find anyone to go with her so people sucked and she sucked ('cause she didn't have any friends) and blah blah blah. Another day it was how everything she cooked was terrible. And another day still it was all about how her hobbies were too expensive. You get the idea. Day after day after day of crisis after crisis after crisis.... I honestly can not remember the last time she had a positive status message. Even the day her husband came home from Iraq, all she did was complain that his flight was delayed 10 minutes then how her brother wouldn't go to the airport with her and how she hated airport parking....
I typically just hide people whose post's bother me. I'll check their home page one every week or every couple of weeks and just skim them, but, otherwise, I just keep them out of view. I have one younger cousin who does what you describe. Every post for weeks [and she posted frequently] was a big whine fest - I hate may job...I can't wait until the weekend because I'm so miserable...I hate doing laundry...I'm tired and just don't want to go anywhere... on and on. Finally, one day, I jokingly commented, "I love you, cuz, but, seriously, I think you should've been named Eeyore. Seriously, does nothing good EVER happen for you?" Then I did a smiley face to try to indicate my tone. She's improve somewhat. At least not ALL her posts are negative now, and she does seem to make the effort to post some either positive or neutral things. I think sometimes people just use the virtual stuff as venting outlets and forget that they CAN talk about some happy stuff, too. Maybe you could post to the next negative one, "Sorry that you're not liking work right now, but, hey, maybe you can look on the bright side. You have a job in an economy where a LOT of people don't. That's worth giving some praise over, isn't it?" Otherwise, just hide them and check their home pages every now and then. It lets them use Facebook for whatever purpose they want to, and it keeps you from having to be subjected to stuff you don't want.
I'd unfriend them all, and really, I'd not feel bad for one second. I think life is too short to put up with people who won't do anything for themselves.
I feel the same way about people who are always negative. I just hide them and check out their page once in a while. I also send a nice note every so often.
EEEEeek! I do Proud Mama Bear brags on my FB page. Anyone that knows my boys are just as proud. And yes, anyone on my friends list has the capablility of deleting it.
Maybe I'm an odd duck but if I see a status update I am not fond of I just move on. Now, that is not to say there would not be reasons to de-friend someone. I could care less if someone is bragging or complaining if I can just move on to the next friend. But, that could be that I don't have the experience of either extreme to have to deal with.
it becomes different when there are a half dozen by the same person with the same basic whines , but I am pretty patient, just cuss words or R rated pictures I ignore and or remove a friend for btw. I have complainer friends that I hve ignored for a while till they got over what they were goign through but only after offering advice haha
Yeah, I can understand that. I have a friend always whining in real life about not finding the right guy...drives me insane. I'm sure if her FB status reports reflected that it would drove me just as crazy.
Yeah.. it's the CONSTANT updates from the complainers that bother me. The person who prompted this whole thing updated her status from her Blackberry at least 10 times a day.
