I have been a member of our local homeschooling co-op for 4 years. Last year the creator handed the major responsibility to another lady because she was suppose to be moving out of state. Last year didn't go off without it's share of hitches...but was still dooable and everyone ended up happy. Whew boy...THIS year however, is a completly different story. We have two different kinds of moms...the way right wing, and the way left wing. And the way left wing moms (mostly new to this co-op all together!) are nit picking about EVERYthing. The we use a church facility because we are a co-op and therefore don't make a profit to build our own facility (they pay fees but that money goes towards mostly renting for the church and various programs for the children throughout the semester)...the church got complaints from members who dropped by on our day and saw mother's breastfeeding in the open so the church asked us to please have breastfeeding mothers do so in one of the other rooms instead of the foyer. Some of the mothers threw a FIT. we also have a very loose dress code (just nothing sheer and revealing, no mini skirts, no spegetti straps...nothing unreasonable)....not only because what i thought we were teaching our children to be respectable little men and women...but also... because...WE'RE IN A CHURCH BUILDING! They are being gracious in allowing us to use their wonderful facility. There is huge uproar about that now...and the leader (one of my best friends and neighbors) postponed the opening (which was suppose to be this thursday) to figure out what to do. These mothers that have nothing better to do with their time but complain and be bitter are ruining it for everyone else. The fact that arguing about where they can and can not breast feed, or not allowing their children to wear inappropriate clothing is taking over the fact that this co-op offers TONS of awesome classes for kids of all ages up through high school that they wouldn't get elsewhere. I'm seeing my friend (the leader) again today...she kind of uses me as her sounding board...and I would love to be there with fresh, sound advice...so i come to you girls (and guy) to seek your opinion.
Um...find another place for co-op. The church requesting people not to breastfeed in that area is against the law. I would complain too. There is a reason why a law had to be made. As for the dress code - if you want to have a dress code it should be part of your co-op's rules that people would have to agree to in order to join.
I agree with Embassy.. the whole breastfeeding thing would have me in an uproar too. Even though I was always very modest, I'm very pro breastfeeding and a baby's right to eat when and where (s)he is hungry. As far as the dress code, that too I agree it should be in the rules.
If your co-op has rules, then your friend need only direct the new families to those rules. If it doesn't, then that's a huge problem that's just been waiting to happen. It may sound harsh, but I'd have no problem telling people that this is how your co-op works, and if they're not on board with that, then you'll be happy to help them find a co-op that is more in line with what their personal philosophies are. I had to make rules for my small fellowship group this last spring. I didn't really think I needed any until I had a family that made it clear that I did. They haven't done a thing with us since I put the rules in place, but that's their choice. These people need to be told that this is a church facility and everyone will respect the requests of it if they're going to be there. Your friend needs to state this clearly and plainly, leaving absolutely no hint that there will be discussion on that point. It is private property that generously allows your group use of its facilities, and everyone who comes will honor that generosity by honoring their requests. Anyone opposing is welcome to find a different co-op or even begin their own somewhere else. Otherwise, there will be no further discussion about it. Sometimes, especially with groups, you just have to calmly draw a hard, firm line in the sand and say, "Here's the way it is and here's why. Deal with it, or go somewhere else."
Arkansas breastfeeding law: "a woman may breastfeed a child in a public place or any place where other individuals are present.”
A church is private property, though, and they're not asking the ladies not to breastfeed; the church is simply asking that they do so in one of the rooms off to the side rather than in the foyer area. If you push the extreme, then the law would be saying I'd have to let a woman breastfeed however she wants in my own home whether I want her to or not. That just wouldn't hold up in a court of law. The church could have any number/combination of reasons for this which don't even pertain to issues regarding modesty, but it doesn't really matter. It's their property, and their request is unbelievably minor. It seems like the co-op could even very easily make a nice quiet area where the moms could go and get out of the flow of traffic to catch a break where they could feed and chat. Regardless, if this church is being generous in allowing this group to use their facilities, then the members should be generous in respecting their very minor requests when people are on site. And asking someone to feed their baby in a side room rather than in the middle of the foyer is hardly a major inconvenience to anyone, including the baby.
No, the church is breaking the law. The Arkansas law prevents breastfeeding restrictions on public and private property. You can set up a side room designed for breastfeeding, but you cannot require a mother to use it. I guess if you don't want someone breastfeeding in your own home you shouldn't invite them over.
Actually, churches are included in the Federal laws protecting breastfeeding in public. I would also be VERY offended by anyone dictating where/when my infant could eat. That is not something minor. It is a HUGE deal. And one worth throwing a fit over. It is a major inconvenience if there are other children that need to be dealt with, etc. And whether or not it's a big deal is really irrelevant. Their request is rude and illegal. On the issue of the dress code, however, I agree with Shelly: the rules should be made clear. And anyone who has a problem with them should find a new co-op.
Because our society is really, REALLY screwed up. Christians, of all people, should see breastfeeding for what it really is: God's design for mothers, the most natural thing in the world. But too many Christians have allowed their view of breasts to be warped by society's sin. And it really is sin that's brought us to this point. People who are offended by a breastfeeding mother need to get their heart right with God. /rant
Breastfeeding fosters closeness between a mother and child…something members of a church should be encouraging. Exactly what issue do those mothers have with the “loose dress code”? Do the new members WANT to wear sheer outfits, etc.? If so, why? Could it be that the new members of the group haven’t been made to feel welcome/a part of the co-op group? Could it be that new members are simply not comfortable with a religious location?
Again, the church is not in violation of the law; they are not saying people can't breastfeed on their property. They are simply asking that they do so in a side room. And how exactly is that so majorly incovenient? Seriously? It's probably all of a five second step off to the side. These people are at a co-op. Presumably, most of their kids are in classes. Those few that aren't could easily join their moms in the side room while their mom feeds their sibling. This is only a big deal if someone wants to make it a big deal. What the group needs to decide as a group is whether that is the hill their group wants to die on. If most do, then the group should find a new facility; if most don't, then the ones who do should be asked to find a new homeschool group or deal with the rules as they are.
They are saying they can't breastfeed where others are present. The Arkansas law allows a woman to breastfeed anywhere people are present. It is wrong to ask them to move. People didn't think it was so inconvenient for Rosa Parks to move either.
The way judges have historically interpreted the law (at least on the Federal level) is that you can't require a mother to limit where she can or can't breastfeed. As it's been said: you can create a breastfeeding locale, but you can't require a mother to use it. (I'm very active in our local LLL, so these things come up often in my circles) That having been said, Shelly is right about one thing. If this is the sort of request is making, it's time to evaluate if this is the right place for your co-op.
(The only exemption is if mothers are prohibited from a certain area regardless of breastfeeding. What I mean by that is illustrated: Our local YMCA prohibits parents from entering the child-care area for any reason. There is a half-door where children are signed in and out. Only staff and children are allowed beyond the door. They do not have to allow breastfeeding mothers to come into the child-care room to sit and nurse. Same goes for the locker rooms. The locker rooms have signs up that say "[opposite gender] children are strictly prohibited, no matter their age" I could not take my male infant into the locker room to nurse. These are more like 'anti-exemptions' than exemptions. If that makes sense.)
Do you know WHY they're asking the women to move? It would seem that this would be a crucial piece to know just how offended breastfeeders should be. And it would also be crucial for the group to know so that they can decide if this group should be at this facility or not. If the reason has to do with a small foyer area that is getting congested by people who are stopping to feed their children--- and possibly interfering with the church's ability to function well in doing ITS business--- then that's a pretty decent reason for them to ask for the move and to expect the request to be respected. If the reason has to do with women not covering up when they feed, again, that's a different issue than just breastfeeding. If the reason is simply not wanting breastfeeding to be seen at all--- modestly covered or not--- then that's, again, a different issue. It might do the group some good to find out all the reasons for that particular request and see if the group's majority wants to honor it or find a different place.
Wow. <sigh> The church IS violating the law. Don't believe me or the others? Ask an attorney. The problem is that the church (or any property owner) has the right to, in turn, not allow individuals...or even the co-op...on the property. A restaurant isn't allowed to tell you not to breastfeed; but the can ask you to leave and if you don't - have you charged with trespassing. Nice, I know. But something to consider. The involved parents need to understand that working with the church on this matter could possibly result in a loss of venue. That said, I would pull my kids from the co op. I haven't had a nursling in a long time, but I wouldn't want my children influenced,even peripherally, by the sort of thinking that breastfeeding mothers should be segregated.
