I don't think so, although I do think it is helpful for them to start learning to share as toddlers - either through play with siblings, neighbors, kids at church - whatever. I also think that it is important to socialize young children in general, and let them become comfortable with different people. For many people this is probably done easily with extended family, but as a military wife I've raised my kids pretty independently. When my oldest was a baby my dh was gone most of the first year and I cared for her alone - no babysitters or anything. I really regreted it when at a year old she wouldn't let anyone else come near her, including her Daddy. So with #2 and #3 I've made a conscious effort for them to get to know other people, adults and children, from an early age.
I was considering sending my ds to preschool just to socialize with kids his own age. I decided I didn't want to pay for someone to babysit while I am at home with the other kids. On one level I was concerned of his lack to be able to play with kids his own age, but he's gotten to play with my cousin's kid who is almost 3 (my ds is 4) and they play really well together and communicate just fine. So, I think for him it was just he had to be comfortable with the person.
Cooperative play doesn't typically take place until age 4. Anything before then is just for the parents imho. Preschool is better than sitting your child in front of a tv all day, but it is not better than interaction and play with your parent/siblings.
I have an now eight year old only child who is very outgoing, loving people, children and babies. I get compliments frequently about how considerate she is, but she is also a child and will get loud and play hard with other children. Her main socialization has been at home and church--a very small church with no children her own age. When she was four, I did meet with another homeschooling mother with also only one child about six months younger than my daughter once a week for about a year, which was very nice. I tried a homeschool group for about six months but that ended up not being something I felt we should continue at this time. The only thing I can say that my daughter lacks a bit is in the concept of team sports. She is like a natural cheerleader who gets more enjoyment out of cheering everyone on than playing her part in the game. It could be that she has not had enough exposure to team sports or it just could be her personality--it is difficult to say. I was not a team sports kind of person, except for volleyball in high school.
From my experience working at a preschool, I can say that preschool usually does more harm than good. At the age of 2-3 what your child needs is your love, teaching, discipline and attention. At a preschool your child will be treated as just one of the group and won't get that one on one attention that children need. Your child will learn more and mature faster by spending time around you than by playing with others his/her age. Unfortunately, while "socializing" at preschools, the children are often left to themselves without someone to correct bad behavior, and because a lot of preschools do not allow corporal punishment (the one I worked at didn't even allow the use of the word "no"), bad behavior is often reinforced by lack of discipline. What others are saying about catching colds is also true. Someone at preschool is always sick and your child will be constantly battling some form of runny nose or fever bug. My advice would be don't let anyone talk you into sending your baby away! Set up play dates for now, and hopefully your little one will have a sibling to play with before too long and then you can stop worrying about socialization.
Someone mentioned that socialization and play is more of an issue for first kids...I say it depends how close your kids are, LOL. When my oldest was 4, we had a 2 yo and a new baby. She had a blast playing with her brothers, and learned to share, play gently with her younger brother and the "baby", and learned to think about someone other than herself. I was worried about her when our 2nd was born, because she was only 18 mos, but it was amazing how gently she learned to play. She also loved "teaching" them how to talk, walk, and play.
I toyed with the idea of preschool, but decided my youngest get's plenty of time learning how to interact with other kids at home, at church in her sunday school, at her wednesday eve. kids church group which is separated into ages, at our homeschool coop... heck, we might not have time for all the other stuff if we did preschool! I don't need to pay for what we are already doing.
I did send my 2 girls to preschool at 3 and it is the biggest regret that I have. They did not learn anything academically that they didn't know when they started. Socialization is not what you think it is at the school. I lost years I could have had with them at home. I regret that. I sent ds6 at almost 3 and he couldn't take it and we pulled him out. I spent the next 2 years teaching and playing with him at home. My youngest ds2.5 is learning and playing at home as well. I got to see what I missed out on with my girls during the time that I have had with my boys. I can never get that time back. I am so glad that we are bringing the kids home and hope that I can get the relationship that I used to have with my oldest back. She is going into 4th and the socialization she was getting at school was akin to what we were going through in 7th grade 20 years ago. I put my girls into preschool b/c a pediatrician recommended it. I wish that I would have never listened to him.
Rachael was 23 mo's when Faythe was born. She learned quickly how to redirect her sister. If Baby took one of Rachael's toys, she learned that she couldn't just grab it back. But if she could get the baby interested in ANOTHER toy, the baby would drop the first one and Rachael could then take it. Then, I watched my cousin's boy one day a week. He was a few months older than Faythe. And Rachael kept saying things like, "Faythe, Luke had it first!" and "Luke, you need to share that with Faythe!" Luke and Faythe were just two at the time, and Rachael was four.
There is nothing learned in a preschool setting that can't also be learned through Sunday school, play groups, siblings, and etc.
