I'm taking any ability to speak French off my resume and I won't ever mention again that I do speak it. Beyond discouraged right now and if I hear mom say "God has something big planned for you" again, I'm going to totally lose it on her. How much more do we have to lose before His plan is finally revealed to us??? When you have to pick and choose between paying a bill or buying food/clothes, it's NOT comforting but this is our reality
I hear you, Brenda. When your luck has been miserable....sometimes that just makes you feel worse. Extra prayers...welcome and needed. Sunshiney, cheerful "God's plan for you!!!"....not so welcome Ever want to say....yeah, right, it's God's plan for me to use dollar store toilet paper and have bill collectors calling? Ah crap...they mean well.....but I totally get how hard that is to hear when you're at the end of your rope. Maybe the better response is....."Perhaps it's God's way of telling YOU that you should be a good friend/neighbor/relative and bring me a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Chocolate bar, and take me out and cheer me up?" LOL. Do you think it'd work?
I went into the whole interview for that job trying not to get my hopes up but in hind sight I did and when I got the phone call last week, I was beyond devastated... I saw it as our last hope of getting ahead and no longer living as we have been. Everything happens for a reason.... reasons I will never understand at the time. Some day I will understand why, for today I just have to accept that it wasn't meant to be. Saint John (where the job was based) was amongst my idea of places I wouldn't want to live (right up there with Toronto). It's a port city, it's dirty and the air quality is horrendous (pulp mill, refinery and breweries filling the air with horrid smells and pollution). I have wanted to finish my degree for a long time (and if I didn't, it is something I would forever regret) so maybe this is the time to do it. Who knows.... I applied to the open university yesterday and my student loan application has been submitted... now I wait for approval on that.
Brenda, keep fighting! I think it's Brilliant you're going back to school! It's going to be such a positive experience for you. I went back to school in 2008 when the economy crashed (was tough on building trades!) and thought I was going to be an old lady in a room full of kids....but it wasn't like that at all. There were a ton of people mid-career who were in the same position I was, who had similar struggles, who were fighting to get back into the job market. Lotta kids, too But the kids were awesome...very honestly. Young people add energy. I was treated very well by them. (for what ever reason, they kept trying to help me with my computer! LOL!) I made some great friends, and it really really helped my emotional state to get out of the house and do something constructive with people who understood. I made some good contacts through the school that lead to a job....not a great job, but a job I didn't mind that I could do while going to school that helped out a lot. Maybe you're meant to make just the contact at school? Or get just the right job referral? I'm excited for you and absolutely think you're doing the right thing. Get a study group going, make some new friends....it will help your spirits so much. Good luck!
The university is an open university based out of Alberta - most of it is self directed study online from home (the assumption is that most students continue to work while they study - which I will do - I just don't have a lot of hours at work and they're fully dependent on my client remaining home but he's terminal) and then I have to travel to Alberta to complete 3 clinical portions of the degree but otherwise I study from home - not the same as going into classrooms. Either way, I'm motivated and I'm looking forward to it (wishing I could start today). As long as I get everything submitted by the 10th of September I can start on October 1st (I missed a September start by missing the 10th of August deadline).
Even just having some rigorous studies takes your mind off other things and helps you to feel like your moving in a good direction. I think it's a great plan! Good luck
Sometimes the darkest most miserable times teach us... that dark miserable times suck. LOL. Keep swimming upstream girl, you'll get there. Think of it this way...if you DO get committed, you can hang out in your pajamas all day, watch bad daytime television, and someone ELSE has to do all the grocery shopping, laundry and housekeeping! Think of it as a needed vacation...LOL!
