Lol Becky! One thing I love about you is that you are so TOTALLY different than me in some ways! I'm all for going in the other room and taking a break, but I also feel that I'm always "on call". If a kid is getting into trouble and he is in the other room and not paying attention, I feel it's my job to deal with it.
Didnt read all the posts. But after schooling my boys for 13 years, I currently am a teacher's aide and substitutue teacher in a public school. I can honestly say, it is easier to teach my own children than it is to be around someone else's children all week long.
I think sometimes homeschooling parents take this statement as a rebuff when, in fact, sometimes a parent is just being honest. There are parents out there who probably should not stay home with their kids. My mom was one of those. Some people are simply better parents when they work outside the home.
I get your point. I personally didn't take it as rebuff. I just thought it odd. However, you are right...there are some moms who just cannot stay home and stay sane. It all depends on the person. I don't have a problem with working moms. Geesh..there are times I wish I was one when the gas bill comes. I just get so tired of hearing it. I suppose in some ways it annoys me because the way it is often said does sound demeaning or that my life is a total bore. It all depends. So, I guess sometimes I take it wrong actually LOL. I did have one mom tell me that the novelty (that was HER word) would wear off if she were home. Now that just made me feel sorry for her kids. After getting to know her more, I realized what a loving mom she really was...so it may have just been a poor choice of words. I think it's best for moms to respect other moms and not compare ourselves good or otherwise. I only mentioned it because frankly I am sick of hearing it. lol
I know what you mean. I had to work from the time my daughter was 13 months old until she was 3. I hated it so much. She would scream and cry when I dropped her off in her class at daycare ( I worked in the same daycare, only a different class.). It broke my heart. I was so glad when I was asked by a friend to watch her children at my house and she pays me pretty good so I am able to stay home now! Even when I worked I wanted to be at home with my daughter SO bad. I couldn't understand the women that would drop off their children and go back home or say they didn't have to work but just couldn't stand being at home all the time. I even know of one woman who sends one child to preschool/daycare and the other child she keeps at home with her. I could understand if one child was in ps and the other was homeschooled because I know that works for some families but when children are that young I think it is most beneficial for them to be with their parent. Also since I did work in a daycare I seen day in and day out how the children would miss their parents. The parents thought their children did not have any seperation issues, but in fact 98% of the children would get sad at some point in the day, if not for most of the day. Oops just realized how long this is! Sorry if you made it through all of it! Wanted to add that I know some moms have to work and I do not have nothing against them at all. I still have to babysit to make ends meet. If I didn't do this I would still have to be out working. I also know that some mothers cannot take mentally staying at home with their children. I understand all of these things. I mainly am talking about the mothers who do not have to work and just send their children to daycare for no apparent reason.
I just think it is sad on so many levels that our society has come to this, that such a casual confession of parental dysfunction is now considered customary. I am not faulting those who have to work, but those who choose not to be parents because it is inconvenient for them.
I've heard that as well. Those who are in their early 20's like I am usually are the culprits of that quote. I love my babies very much, and I enjoy watching them grow, learn, and play everyday! I think I would worry myself sick and miss them so much if I had to send them to school everyday. Plus, I think some of those parents say that because they just don't want to deal with their kids. You know, dole out discipline, answer their questions,...and in general interacting with them and helping them. Some parents are more kid friendly than others.
My husband is one of those who says, "I couldn't stay home all day!" and it's true. He would have been happy with no children, or just one. He drew the line at two, though he loves them both very much. It's just that chaos (which children create) drives him nuts. He can't cope. I once mused about how many children I'd have now if I'd been able to just keep on having them, and my best friend said, "If you'd had that many kids, your husband would be dead of a heart attack by now." As for what stay-at-home moms do when the children are at school? I wrote a couple of novels and more short stories than I can count (and got some published, too!); I planted a vegetable garden; I crocheted blankets for everyone in family; I put my husband on a diet; I started teaching Sunday School; I volunteered with numerous non-profit organizations; I nursed an elderly cat through her last months; I painted murals all over the bathroom walls; etc; etc... But of course when I was given the opportunity to teach a friend's child - I leaped at it. I adore homeschooling! I sometimes wish I could have had more kids to teach, but my friend also said, "If you'd had that many kids, you wouldn't have given birth to a bouncing baby novel." She's right.
Meg, that's what you did while your kids were AT school? Or do you do all that while homeschooling? If you can accomplish all that AND homeschool, you are sure better organized than me!
Before I had kids I always thought I would want to work at least part-time. I loved my career and thought that quitting all together would mean boredom. But when my baby arrived on the scene I couldn't stomach leaving him. But there was still the boredom issue. I need something to keep my mind busy. After my son was born I built a home business. It got to be too time consuming though so I sold it a little over a year ago. Now I homeschool, put together my own curriculum, blog, put together websites, write for an online company, etc. So I totally understand the boredom issue. There are just ways to handle that from home. I still miss my career, but have no plans to go back to it. I can't imagine spending my day with other people's kids instead of my own.
I did all that while they were at school! Everyone kept saying to me, "Wow, you must have so much time on your hands, now that the children are gone all day!" But it didn't work out like that. I was busier than ever. It really did turn out to be one or the other - either I was going to museums and teaching the children, or I was writing. Not both. I do love my novels, but if it came to a choice between the kids or the books, I'd go back to teaching the kids full time in an instant. That's why lately I have been doing my happy dance, now that I get to teach a friend's child. That said, it was the children's choice to go back to school, and they've done wonderfully.
I get this all the time from moms that don't work but send their kids to school. I actually don't know how to respond to them because I can't imagine having my kids gone for at least 8 hours a day. I admit I need my "me" time...but once a month for 3ish hours is plenty for me. I hardly know what to do with myself when I do have me time! Mostly I do the grocery shopping or somethign like that. As for babysitters...I have hired 1. Once. I use family 3 times a year so dh and I can have time together for special occasions. Other than that...the kids are with me. I have a friend who's mom had to go back to work after she had her babies because she got post-pardum depression so bad that she knew if she didn't go back she would hurt her babies. I think some mothers need to be away from their kids. My friend has a difficult time dealing with kids. She is a wonderful mother, but she has no patience and stresses so easily when things aren't exactly how she wants them to be.
For awhile when my second boy was born I sent my kids to daycare and stayed home. This lasted 3 days a week for a month and a half. I felt really guilty the whole time. Then when they came home w/ Scabes I said I was SOO done with doing that. I''ve stayed home with them ever since! I babysit 5 days a week now to contribute some income, but I am happy to be doing it at home with my babies.
It is spring break here. I went onto facebook and the first post I see is So Spring Break is here!**** leaves tomorrow....**** leaves Wednesday...any takers on ****? :0) So basically her kids are finally home for a week and she is sending them off to someone else as soon as she can. Sad
You know, I would post something like that on FB as a joke; maybe that's how this person meant it. I'd love to get rid of all three children at the same time every now and then. Carl absolutely floored me last night. He asked, now that the kids are getting older, how I would feel about subbing one day a week. NO!!! First, I'm really not comfortable leaving my kids alone ALL DAY. What if someone called CPS, and they came to the door? I doubt my kids would know how to handle that. And while they work really well indendently, I just don't think it's wise. Second, I can't keep up on housework as it is! Third, I'm no longer certified to teach; I won't want to spend the money needed to get re-certified. Fourth, I love not having to go anywhere! In his defense, he knows I enjoyed teaching and having a classroom. I did sub just one day a week when I first quit my job; my mom had been Rachael's full-time babysitter, and didn't want to give her up totally. But I quit that right before Phillip was born. I really think he was thinking of me, and feels I've "given up" something by staying home with the kids. And I have, but I've also gained something so much greater!
Its not a joke. Soon after she posted that the kids are both going off to seperate grandparents houses. Besides she does get rid of them for 6+ hours a day when she sends them off to school ::shrug:: I dont have a problem with working moms. That is a matter between you, your husband and God and I dont feel like I am qualified to judge anyone elses situation. For myself however, i could not imagine going back to work full time. I tear up just thinking about sending my kids off to PS and its not even an option for us!
When I got pregnant I told my husband that I intended to raise my children myself. I wasn't putting 9 months into growing them, just to hand them off to someone else. So, I stayed home with them while they were babies and preschoolers. After that... I'll use my son as an example, since his story was less complicated than his big sister's. My son was only 3 when he started half-day junior kindergarten - the cut-off here is Dec 31st. Neither of us were ready. But he made it through the first year with the help of his big sister. Then his sister left for another school and he started half-day kindergarten all by himself. My son spent his fifth Christmas telling me he wished he was dead, in between howling tantrums. Homeschooling was SUCH a relief. However, when he was nine, he asked to go back to school. He said he was ready, and by then, so was I. I was proud to see him off to grade 5 on the school bus, and happy to see him back at the end of the day. Now he's 12, and he spends at least a couple days each week sleeping over at assorted friend's houses. It's shocking what a gorgeously tall young man he's become, and I'm extremely pleased with how he's turned out. I don't have any problems letting him go. But I think there's a world of difference between letting your 3yo go (ouch!), letting your 9yo go (ok, I'll see him in a few hours), and letting your 12yo go (you go, kid!). Personally, if I had more kids, I wouldn't even look at traditional schooling before grade 5.
