I started hsing in jan and its only been 4 months but I am totally exhausted, have no time for myself, feel like I havent accomplished anything and SOOO ready to throw in the towel! I have 3 kids and Im spread so thin. My LO is almost 2 and she is with my helper all day and the other 2 are with me constantly. I dread getting up in the morning and I look forward to going to sleep at night. I feel guilty for not spending anytime with the baby...to the point where she prefers my helper over me! My 8yr old son is upset and drags his feet to study and my 5 yr old daughter would rather color all day. Putting them into school looks really tempting right now and who knows..maybe its best for all of us cause I definitely do not have my sanity and am ready to jump off the roof of my house. Sorry for the rant...thanks for reading/listening.
(((( )))) You wouldn't be human if you have some days filled with self doubt and incredible frustration. There are going to be good days and bad days. Look at what you have already accomplished rather than what you still need accomplished. Cut yourself a little slack. Summer is near, take that for your mental health break and start fresh in the fall. I homeschooled my boys from K-12, believe me, it is doable. May not be peachy and easy every day, but keep your eyes on your goals and keep chugging away.
Sounds like you need a break. Look into some summer programs/camps for the two older kids. Maybe a fun filled summer is what the mama needs...her and the baby!! Then evaluate after that...you need to do what is best for your whole family. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I myself try to do soul searching on a good day. In my latest "episode" on trying to figure out if I want to keep working I am trying to see if I want to quit after a good day. (I do want to quit after a bad day) of course, that only works if there are good days. Hang in there (a 5 yo coloring all day seems like a fine day...especially so late in the year.)
Oh, you poor thing! I know it isn't much consolation, but you are describing everyone's first year in homeschooling! It does take a while to find a groove and I think most people will agree that you need to simplfy things until you get your's. Finding the "right" curriculum is harder than it sounds and I don't know what you're using, but perhaps you should post it so we can take a look at things. And in my opinion - let that 5 yr old color all day long, that is not a big deal. Not all kids are ready for structured learning at 5. If you have the money perhaps you could buy some educational computer games? I find that kids often will do these when they won't do other things. Maybe you should do Time 4 Learning for the rest of the year? Most kids love that program and it is OK to use it by itself for a few months, no big deal. Or maybe you should set them free on vacation and start back a month early in the summer. That way you can have a few months to yourself and get a better grip on how you would like to do things and what works best for your kids.
HUGS! Okay I was right there oh about 8-10 years ago! Only my 2yr old was busy running otu doors when I would start 'teacher mode" so I had to get him intrested in something first, take the lock off the door so he could not open it, and then assign the work and then.. try to do the other child's lessons, and back to the 2 yr old, I did not have a helper, so you are blessed to have one! If you work it right your 5 yr old can play with the 2 yr old for part of her Kindergarden work! I started doing that, when mine was 5 , she was doing 2nd grade work so I had to break her routine and make her go play with ds then 2, she did that so I could help ds 7-8 do his work.. then when he finished I sent him to play or have snack with ds2 or watch a video with him or educational channel pbs thing, while I taught dd. It can work! IT can be okay, seems like a lot to take on at once yes, but it is so worth it, it has been 13 years for me now! I felt like giving up many times over the years but with my dh its not an option to send them off to gov schools. it sounds tough, and all, but what you really need is this 'helper' person to give you "coffee break' time. Which may mean going to starbucks and back, or may mean going to a room in the house where the kids dont know you are there and sipping your fav tea listening to music etc. Have your hubby help too! He can give you time off when he gets shome from work, as well if he is willing. Mine woudl have a time when he read to the kids in the evening at those ages, then I got to do whatever needed to be done ON MY OWN.. was nice, even lf it was chores doing it alone was nice! Keep yoru chin up, write down the reasons you want to home school, write down what you need to change, what areas do not work, etc, and ask us all what to do to change them, we have some great ladys and gents here who are seasoned, and who are newbies like you, 4 mos is not long enough, take yoru summer break early and get geared up for fall! Keep the two younger ones playing teach them to pick up after themselves to a song "Clean Up song" works for me! my 2's preschool class used to clean a whole class of toys up fast with a song! so no child is too young! Give yoru self a BIG HUG< and relax a bit, as they say deschool the older one and take a break! You can always start summer school fun stuff like I did too to make sure I didnt make any slacking problems Lol, I was so stickt in my early years it was not funny I had to learn wiht time to relax!
How you decide to educate your child is up to you. You must do what is best for your family. Homeschooling doesn't make you a good mom and sending your kids to school doesn't make you a bad mom. In fact, one of the best moms I know, works full-time and sends her kids to school. So..being mom is about you and not how you educate or if you stay home or work. Moms shouldn't fight about the choices we have. Having said all that, your solution does not have to be to send them to school. I have an 11 year old, 9 year old, 3 year old and a 9 month old. I have days EXACTLY like you. In fact, I was thinking of just ending school myself for a short time. Homeschooling is challenging. There are days I think I am at my breaking point. There are days I feel my kids learned nothing while I spent time and money to teach them. There are times I think my 3 year old and 9month old need more attention. There are times I feel bad because I look forward everyday to my baby's naptimes. lol. My house is a mess and laundry is always behind. Not the way you want to live, right? Me either! So, I had to discipline myself and my kids. I also have to be a bit flexible on days where everything seems out of control. I put together a schedule and I stick to it as closely as possible. However, the goal is to stick to it. It happens more often than not and this is so NOT my personality. lol. I do all the teaching during naps. I also made sure I plan by the term and not the week or by the day. This way the kids know exactly what to do and can start school on their own. My kids would do nothing all day...and have...if I let them. It all depends on me. If I am scattered and disorganized so are they. If I am organzied but every busy...they stay on task. However, I have to check their status often when its not time for me to teach. They have a list to stick to. We are heavy on the discipline so my kids obey....but like any kid will do what they can do if allowed. lol. I am the leader and they follow my lead. If I am off my game...so are they. This makes for busy days but productive days. Everyone is happier when the day is structured and everyone knows what is expected of them. I still have crazy confusing days where I wonder why in the world I even attempt this! lol. On those days, I have learned to let go....let them color...let them play...OR give them a strict list to stick to. Or...I just go crazy and regret things that come out of my mouth. None of us are perfect and none of us will have perfect days. I think we envision everyone having these idealic homeschooling days so we assume we are failing if we get stressed or feel we lost control. EVERYONE has those days. Whatever works best for your family is great. Yet, I encourage you to try a few things before sending the kids to school. ONLY because you made the decision to homeschool for a reason.
I'm so with everyone that has already given you some awesome advice. Take a break! We all need those from time to time - kids as well as adults Then you work with what works for you! Don't worry about what "the Joneses" think or are doing. I get SOOOO wrapped up in what other people are doing as far as hs'ing sometimes I forget that that way just doesn't WORK for us! I get looks like I'm nuts when 1/2 their books are audiobooks as my kids seem "plugged in" all the time. But my kids LISTEN to them and actually pay attention (and I don't have to read aloud to both of them - whew!) Calgon moments are very much needed. Even DH agrees with this (and he's CONSTANTLY going!) It's ok to have a day of coloring, a week of educational DVD's (we did 3 weeks of Magic School Bus and ANY science DVDs the library had - and those little tid bits of time were awesome for me!) Have a "Doodle Day" where they listen to a book and doodle whatever comes to their mind.... then have them talk about he doodle Take advantage of any nice days just by hanging out in the sun and BREATHE You can do it you just need to find what works for you and YOUR family
I agree with everyone else. You need a break. Sometimes it's like that. Take a week off and come back. Let the kids enjoy having a week off. When you start back up try HS every other day or 3 times a week. That is what we did when we first started. With your youngest 5 yr old you may be able to let her play educational games on the computer or color while watching a DVD. She will be learning and won't even know it. LOL
May I ask what curriculum you are using for your dc? Sometimes we try to do too much when we first start out. My ds (2nd grade now) does about 2 to 2.5 hours of actual schoolwork. When he was in K, he did about 60 minutes of actual schoolwork. He continued to learn more throughout the day with computer/board games, art activities, and educational toys. Blessings, Michelle
That's right I forgot about that Even my 7th grader if he would stop procrastinating would be done in 3 hours tops on a LONG day. I even get frustrated with him when he takes so long! Today they did 2 days worth of work and took forever but it was because of the catch-up they needed to do from goofing off and just plain being pains in my rear yesterday
Thanks for all your encouraging words ladies. It really has made me feel a little better. I know what my problem is. I bet most first time homeschoolers face these issues and I would love all the advise I can get! 1- I cannot manage to stick to a schedule. I make one, find it difficult to stick to and after only 2 days i quit and then im back at square one. Chaos! 2- I feel guilty not spending time with the baby. DH is too busy to help out, we barely see him. My live-in helper is great with the baby and I know im SO blessed (i shouldnt be complaining) to have her and she is an amazing resource for me but I dont know how to manage her and fit her into my schedule so Im not always relying on her to take care of the baby. Honestly, the baby prefers her I think and that KILLS me and I know its all my fault. Im tempted to let her go but I know that would be suicide for me cause Im already overwhelmed. 3- I dont know who I am anymore. I dont know what I like to do. I dont know what Im passionate about. I dont know how to get my energy back. 4- This is the most petty and embarassing thing but Im going to mention it anyways since Im aleady laying everything out. I live abroad (in Dubai) which is a city where all the ladies are "ladies who lunch" and do all sorts of time wasting activities such going to clothing and jewelry shows, tea time at hotels, etc. I DONT want to be a part of that crowd anymore but part of me is sad that Im totally out of the loop. Ironically, when I randomly do get invited, I decline cause I know its a waste of time and could think of a hundered different things to do. Im seen as weird and different because of hsing which I think is kind of neat but at the same time, I dont have a support system which I can feel I am a part of. Its pretty isolating. btw, I am using the k12 program only because I have to in case I do decide at some point to put my kids in school. Its a lot of red tape in the UAE but homeschoolers dont have much choice when it comes to curriculums out here, esp if you want to leave the door open for going back to a brick and mortar school. So k12 it is and its draining!! So i've laid it all out ladies. I need help or meds!
well I have to agree with everyone else. Close the books and take break... thats the joy of homeschooling you can always start and stop when it's best for you and your family.
I felt the same way. In fact, I can stick to it loosely only most of the year..lol. Yet, getting on a routine helped out more than I can express to you and all of it defies my personality..lol. Maybe a little morning routine would help?? maybe not. lol. I don't see my dh much either. He works a ton and it is VERY hard. In fact, I don't think those who are married to a 9 to 5er can even understand how hard it can be. There is nothing wrong with having this helper..I would LOVE one. But I can see why you are conflicted. Maybe you could have a helper for the other children...with school like a tutor...and have the baby for yourself. Homeschooling with a baby can be done but it's hard...I've done it twice...no easy task. Wait...did I write that or did you??? I feel this way all the time. I have tried things to become me again like, read a book and not a textbook, write a blog or article, go out with a friend, actually buy myself something..lol. I pray alot and I realize this is a season in my life. I...ME...I..am a mom..a wife and a homeschooler. That doesn't take away from who I am it adds to it and I bring myself into it. I find I feel this way mostly when I am feeling a bit lonely or unproductive. So, take a break. Personally, I think you need a little bit of wasted time, don't you? It's hard to feel out of the loop. I feel that way at my church when most of the ladies don't have kids or have babysitters and dh's that don't work a million hours a week. They have so much more flexibility and get together more. I feel out of it and I miss my old life when I could run with the rest of them. Although, people around me think I am superwoman and that I am far too busy with 4 kids to do anything. lol. They are almost right. There is nothing wrong with a few "wasted" afternoons. Sounds like fun to me! I have heard that homeschooling in your area and parts of the middle east is seen as strange. yeah, I can see how that works both ways. I have also heard that K12 is draining! I think you are a bit lonely and missing yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. I know the feeling. I don't always beat the feelings either. However, you sound similar to how I was all the time at one point. So see you can come out of it. lol. Take a little time to have fun and not feel guilty about indulging with the "ladies who lunch". Take a break from school if you can. Give yourself time to become accustomed to your new life...you new you..a homeschooling mom. Now if things do not work out don't consider yourself a failure. Don't sacrifice your sanity or your children just to cling to an idea and a determination to homeschool. It's ok to make another choice. If you continue to homeschool then at least you have us, right? Honestly, for some time...HSSpot was about all the adult interaction I had in a week! LOL! Somedays it still is! Homeschool Spot saves my sanity.
Maybe you need to re-examine what you are doing. I have seen so many first year and second year homeschoolers give up because they expect too much of themselves. (((hugs)))
All I can say is HOW NICE THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE WHO TAKE THE TIME TO GIVE VERBAL HUGS and KIND ADVICE! Bravo HSSpot!
Im suppose to be your neighbour... anyway, I came back to my home country Malaysia. I was in Dubai homeschooling my 3 dc and having a baby too. I can identify with you coping with being new to homeschooling, having a baby that needs attention in his/her tender year and living in foreign land. I don't have a helper but my dc helped babysitting when I homeschool another. Your dc are young, so it's ok if it's slow in the beginning. I have met some great support grp, but in Abu Dhabi. however, you can join them when they have field trip in dubai. At the moment, no field trips yet in summer until September. try to meet these awesome mothers and learn from their vast experience and get support. Actually abu Dhabi it's not that far from dubai. will pm to you their homeschool website and contacts too. will add on when I have more to share. writer's block May God be there to comfort you and your family.
Forgive me for not reading all the replies before responding, but ... here goes: I think we all have days like that. If we didn't we would not be human. I agree that it is time for a break ... even if it is only a small one (but a week long would be better). I am also wondering if possibly, just possibly, it is also time for a change in curriculum or teaching style. (Let me say now that I am in no way judging you or your teaching style.) I know a lot (not all) of the burn-outs are caused by problems with curriculum and/or style. I am suggesting this because not only are you burned out, but it sounds like your eldest is also. Maybe ask the 8 yr old what he would be interested in studying and turn that into a weeklong unit (maybe even longer). Mine are a little burnt out so we are spending a week learning about Ocean Life (all sections are geared towards ocean’s & their lives). Hang in there … you know you can do it and we are all here to support you!
For me when I started feeling like that, it was because I was getting disorganized. Making a schedule and sticking to it helped my attitude and the kids'. Good luck, whatever your decision may be.
