Thank you ladies! You all are wonderful! Dh and I had our last argument turned good conversation on Super Bowl Sunday. We both ended up weeping on the bathroom floor praying to God for help with our relationship. I didn't know he was praying silently at the time though too. We talked about that the next day. It was an extremely emotional moment. Things were really good for about 5 days after that. Then it seems life has gotten in the way and we haven't had a moment to really talk. Well, he has chatted about the meetings he's been to and the blogs he's written. I've chatted about the kids and some odds 'n ends, but we haven't had a real feeling type of conversation. I think partly it's because I don't want to rehash all of this stuff again or get into an argument. I think I'm going to have to find a kind way to say what I'm feeling though.
You are going to have to rehash it, I know it sucks and it's not what anyone wants to do, but really you have to heal the wounds not just put a bandaid on them. We have had lots of long talks, hubby and I, some of them it was all I could do to get the words out that I needed to. It's hard to brutally honest about how you feel no matter if it to yourself or to someone else. It's hard to be in the position of feeling betrayed, and honestly an emotional affair is more damagaging than a sexual one.. though they hurt badly too. In this situation, you need to MAKE time, even if it means putting the kids to bed an hour early and making sure you turn off the tv at that time too. If you ever need to talk, PM me, there are many things I could probably share that I don't want to divulge on the board publicly, but they may help you see things in a different light, and if nothing else, sometimes it helps to have a pair of ears that will let you get it all out there on the table, esp if it's someone not emotionally attached to the situation. ((hugs))
We do seperate stuff quite often but never at a bar. The fact is a bar is a meat market and we are not single so we stay away from bars unless we are together and even then that is really rare. It would have to be a specific function like someone's party or something. I often go have margaritas and dinner with the girls and most times we end up going after to someone's hot tub. Dh and the guys often go out on our property for a day of beer drinking and skeet shooting. I think it is healthy to spend time with friends. Honestly if I never got to go anywhere without the kids or my dh I would go insane. I am so glad I have a responsible teenager at home now to babysit! WImom in your situation though I think I would see things differntly.
