Oklahoma institutionalizes most pre-K

Syele, I feel your pain about Sami being darker than you. Except my situation is a bit different. My kids are bi-racial. My kids look white. However, I have had people ask me if my dh is the father of my kids or if he is the father of all my kids. People are so rude. I have plenty of those kinds of stories.

 

Yeah what set me off this time was a lady came to me and said "Is her father hispanic?" I nodded yes and she said "Well I could just tell because the beautiful hispanic features she has!" She said it in a tone like the non-hispanic side of my dd was not beautiful. Truthfully I think Sami LOOKS very white( except in summer she tans Quick and dark), not only that.. line up her pictures with mine at that age and they are very close to identical. My step sister asked my dad what I looked like as a kid and he quietly pointed at Sami and said.. "well you see her there running around!" So my thought was 'WHAT hispanic features?' I'm german, czech, irish, scotch. and she looks like me. Her birth certificate and hospital records etc. list her as hispanic because of the two they automatically write down the minority one. I hate that. not because it's some other ethnicity than mine.. but for the same reason I hate the term bi-racial... Good grief! trace 90% of Americans ancestors and they will be found to have backgrounds for several diffrent cultural groups. My dd should be labeled an AMERICAN over any other ethnic or cultural label! Why does every thing have to be an us and them attitude?

 

She is precious! yea, I am not thrilled with the term bi-racial. If you saw my kids you would never guess they were anything but white. However, because they are part black they seem to be considered black. Why is that? My dh is mostly native american or indian or whatever and black. Olivia has skin as white as mine and hair as red as mine. my son has skin that looks more like a tan but his hair and features are totally white. My other daugther looks like she only partook of my dna. ugh, the whole race thing is crazy. For the most part, we have no problems. But people presume they can ask personal questions. That is annoying.

 

Frankly, I think it's silly I mean .. we don't look like a biracial family. And even if we did.. SO WHAT? and they presume thay can do more than ask questions. They assume that since she is 'biracial' I'm they can demand how I'm going to teach her hispanic culture! What do I know of hispanic culture? what do I know of GERMAN culture for that matter? We are all Americans. Maybe since you are married you and your Husband can teach the kids stuff about both points of view, but I think the "melting pot' so to speak has long since melted! My dad can trace his side of the family back to some of the first american settlers... some of them owned slaves, some were adamantly against it. Some of them intermarried so that there is black racial ancestery in our blood line as well. That counts as black? HAHA I don't look black! Oh wait because I look white I must fall to the side of the slave owners instead of the side of the slaves in my family history? What weird concepts come from the ways we do things in this country! My grandma's family is all Czech. Came to America fairly recently (less than 90 years ago) Had to sit in segregated classrooms.. Whites on one side and Bohemians on the other. our family was not considered white back then. Why did bohemian stop being segregated? Um we look too much like everyone else.

And all this is why marching around declaring "Latino Power!" and staring 4th of jult chats about being "proud to be MExican" is so ridiculous. So some people in my family history were slaves and some had to sit on the opposite side of classrooms and some had to walk on the other side of the road, some were arrested for making poppy seed kolaches! Do we teach our kid then that the world is out to get them over race or that history makes others owe them something? No! We teach them that life is unfair, bad things happen, and what they do affects others as well as themselves no matter if it's for the good or the bad.

It's time to stop all this silliness and PC stuff. I dare them to prove I'm white. (My foundation is labeled Alabaster, perhaps I should put that on these forms that insist on asking my ethnicity!) I dare them to prove my daughter is hispanic. I just wish I had a really good, comeback to their stupid prying. but I'm never good at combacks.. just long rants. LOL

 

There was a really interesting program on PBS, receintly, about "Where did you com from "? It was a program, where the interviewer took dna samples from popular black americans (Oprah, Mae Jemison, whoppi Goldburg, and others). They then traced back their matichondrial (SP?????) DNA (Mother's side DNA) and traced their ancestry back as far as possible. One "Side effect" to this work ,was that they were able to tell the folks, how "Black" they were.

Funny stuff....
Whoopi is nearly all black.
Mae Jemison was actually surprized to learn she was 60% Aisian. Come on honey! Look at your face, you are a cupie doll! (Even the interviewer was shocked that she did not see it.
Oprah was wrong about which tribe she came from, and seems a bit disapointed about it.
Some discovered their anscestors were sold by BLACK slave traders ion Africa and some were owned by BLACK clave owners in America.

It was facinating.
If I find the program I will post the name...
It was run in Jan - Feb on PBS

EDIT:
HERE IT IS>>>>
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/aalives/index.html

 

hmm that looks really interesting. I found it here:
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/aalives/

go Google! hehe

 

Maybe it's different for you down near Mexico, but here so many people don't think twice about bi-racial kids anymore. (Or maybe just the ones I hang around don't....?) We go to a church that pulls from both Black and white, and have several friends that are in a "mixed" marriage. My children have somehow started refering to African Americans (my attemp to being PC, lol!) as "dark": "Did you meet that new 'dark' girl's parents today?"

We're also reading "Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry". It's been a real eye-opener for my kids, to see even in this fictional account the prejudice and bigotry. There's a white boy that is very friendly with the kids. Phillip mentioned to Carl that he thought this white boy was "in love" with the black girl. I explained that no, he wasn't. Carl went on to explain that a black and white person "loving" one another at that time would probably end up with both of them being killed. Phillip replied, "THAT'S CRAZY!!!"

 

lol th e hings people try to use.. "dark" right off reminds me of the old term "colored" which is not PC anymore. What I noticed around here is that white people are afraid to use skin color when describing people. They will describe a person with any other physical charastics they can think of (tall, short, thin etc. ) The other day I finally got frustrated and asked "Is she black?" Startled she said yes. I'm like come on people! It was a description so I'd know who she was talking about.there are very few people around here that are black.. just saying so saved her lots of description because then I knew who she ment this way. Some people are afraid to even talk anymore.

 

When they were little, they had a friend who was biracial. One day we got talking, and I said something about someone being "black", and Rachael, about 5 at the time, had no idea what I meant. So I explained that this particular person had "black" skin. She was still confused. So I said, "You know, like Mr. J's skin. He's black, too. His skin is a lot darker than ours." I honestly think she never really noticed him in those terms. To her, he was just Susie's dad!

 

I have a niece and 2 nephews who have a white mom and a black dad. My kids are extremely close to them and they were probably around 1st grade when they realized their skin was different than theirs. When they asked about it, I, too, said something about them being "black". My kids immediately said "They are not black...they are light brown!" I just had to laugh...they didn't get how I could think they were "black"...they were clearly "light brown"!

I agree with Jackie, people around here don't think a thing about it either! But I do think people are afraid to talk about it for fear that they will sound racist or judgemental. It's funny, though, because the more you try NOT to be that way, ususally makes you seem more that way! KWIM?

 

I'm sure kids ask about skin colors about the same as they ask other physical apperance Questions. I get asked fairly often.. "Why are you fat?" or "why are you so big?" I usually just point out that they are so little and that people are all diffrent, life would be boring if we all look exactly the same. little kids are just interested.

 

Syele, I'm thinking you overreacted at the lady who commented on Sammi's color. I bet she meant Sammi was lovely overall. Not every kid has that shiny, dark hair or lovely skin. The lady wouldn't comment on her whiteness because that's such a usual thing, if you can get what I'm saying.
NOW... I do think she was wrong to comment on her parentage. Why not just say she has lovely , dark hair? Lovely, dark eyes? If this was an older person, I can see it being a generational blunder.

I'm not sure if I ever posted it, but Kevin's bio father is black. He looks like he goes to the tanning salon year round. When we first started attending our church someone asked about this. I smiled and said he hangs out at the beach alot! I think it shows a lot of audacity to point out how a child looks from its parents.

It's worth mentioning that this same person was discussing the children of a paraplegic(SP?) in our church. This person said 'We all assumed the wife did all the work.' I was flabbergasted, but said nothing. Actually, I know the man well and I can bet the wife might have 'done all the work, but the husband was more than glad to coach!!

 

Actually my area is over 65% hispanic/mexican so the white kids are starting to stand out lol.

It's possible I might have over reacted.. it's mainly that this isn't a one time incedent. I don't think her intention was to be rude.. she just was! I get it alot. most just walk up to me out of the blue and ask if her father is hispanic! I still am surprised each time. You'd think I'd just get used to it. It's just hard for me to fathom what people are thinking sometimes.
when they do it in front of Sami she looks them Straight in the eye and says, "I don't HAVE a father!" She says it in the same tone she'd use point out that she dosn't HAVE a toy dumptruck so why are people asking about her toy dumptruck? I wish she wouldn't though cause then they ask what happened to her father. Strangers just wander up and ask these things. I can't imagine having that kind of nerve.

 

Are you looking at the age of the person saying these things? I have found that people 60 and over are alittle free with vocalizing what they think in situations like this. Not all, mind you.
Well, you could knock their socks off and say no, her daddy isn't hispanic- her other mommy is!! That will shut 'em up!

 

LOL nah they are all ages. I got another one yesterday too she was in her early 40's. HAd one in their 20's once.. but it's ALWAYS women.


Hehehe that comment might work. I was trying to think of a good answer. When I was single and pregnant people kept asking me "What are you gonna do with a baby?" It threw me the first several times or so, I was horrified they could be so rude and insensitive. Then more people would say it...finally I started answering right off "I'm gonna EAT it!" that shut 'em up.

It was funny to see their reactions.

 

My ex-boyfriend was on town once, LONG ago, with his 3YO daughter. We met for lunch. The daughter had beautiful blond hair, while mine is VERY dark, and the guy's is a light brown. The waitress assumed we were married, and asked how we managed such a blond child. I wanted SO BAD to tell her "Oh, she's not ours! We just picked her up at the mall...."

 

My dh and I have been married for 9 years and dated for three years before that. In all that time we only had two times where race was in issue. Well, if you count my parents, three. My parents were completely against the idea. I never gave race a second thought. Never meant much to me. My kids haven't had any issue either. However, like I said, they look white. Not like "light" skinned. Two are as light as I am and I am very fair. The other is tan. So, when they are with me, people would assume they were white. However, when they are with my dh and still don't seem to have any problems.

 

LOL oh,Jackie, I needed a good laugh! hehe maybe I'll try that next time.

Stangers can ask the Dumbest questions. I suppose I should just try and ignore it.. Once whan a blind friend and I were out with my mom the lady asked the worker at the cafeteria we were eating at what entree's were available.. the Server said "What? are you BLIND or something??" Well, actually.... LOL :roll:

Hmm I seem to have dragged us off topic pretty far from pre-schools!

 

I have identical twins . . . Insert 100000 rude, anoying, invasive and stupid comments here.... You can imagine the stuff we got.... man....
Bottom line, People have foot in mouth disease. and it is spreading!

 

Jackie, I am going to try that line next time! I have only got a few questions here and there but that is funny. I am pretty blessed since overall, I only get told that my family is beautiful. (which of course I agree. lol) Who knows what they say as they are walking away though....