Oh gosh... I never dreamed this question would be as difficult to word as I'm finding it and I'm really wishing I wasn't asking this question at all. Bluntly put (hopefully without being offensive), what happens to a boy/man when he loses his virginity? I have reason to believe after a scenario presented to me today that Christian is no longer "pure". I have asked him over and over again if he is and he swears that he is still 'pure' BUT given what details he has given to me and knowing what I know about the reproductive system, I know of no other reason for him to be experiencing what he is experiencing. He did say that he was kicked twice today in the genital area today but I still don't think that would cause the problem he is having (but then again, I'm not a doctor). Given that he has been away for a couple days under a roof with a longer leash than what we have allowed, and the 'hicky' on his neck, it would seem appearent to me that it is likely to have happened in the days while he was away (which enrages me). Right now, Christian will not admit to me whether he is sexually active or not because he knows where I stand on it. All I can do right now, is take him to the doctor to deal with the problem he is having (I do not believe it is an STD) and then go from there.
After consulting with DH and a family friend, I can say that nothing at all happens to a guy when he loses his virginity. I asked if things started to work differently, if there were any outward signs, or if there is any other way to determine it. They said no on all accounts. Unlike with women, there are no changes at all that happen. DH said that for a man, physically speaking, intercourse is no different than mast*rbation.
he very well could have a urinary tract infection or even possibly a yeast infection (guys get these too!) and not an STD. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I pray that he is being truthful with you (I fear he is not though)...and that an STD is not present.
Oh Brenda, I am so sorry, I hope you can get this worked out soon and he will talk to you. I agree he can have an infection if so get him to drink cranberry juice, if it's to strong for him add 7-up with it and it's not to bad. I hope things work out for you all soon. I hope and pray he is honest with you soon.
I am giving him the benefit of the doubt and will believe that he is telling me the truth (even though deep down, I'm not sure what to believe). We have taken a really hard line when it comes to being s*xually active.... asking each of the boys (encouraging them actually) to give their future wife the best gift of all - purity. We had always talked about the unexpected teen pregnancy but last night with all of this, I drove it much much further - we talked in depth about STD's and the possibility that if he had an intimate relationship with someone "under age" (whether consentual or not) he could be charged with statutory rape. In the meantime, the bleeding he experienced last night has stopped and we seem to go ahead from here (he was also kicked twice in the groin area yesterday so maybe that's why he was bleeding...) Thank you all for your patience while I attempt to raise a teenager
My little brother was urinating blood recently. My dad took him to the ER, where he was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection.
Whether he's had sex or hasn't or won't reveal it, make sure to give him a big hug and let him know he's still a wonderful soul that you adore. Sounds like he might need it.
I would also have to agree. Brenda we are here for you no matter what the need. Mine will be a teenager in Dec. So I my need ya all more then I already do. Still praying for your family.
Brenda I pray for you and your entire family. That God would give you wisdom in every word you speak and every decision you make. As far as the "bleeding" goes there could be many things that could've caused it. My little one who is 3 and never complains recently had "pain." I immediately took him to the dr. and there was blood in his urine. It can be from an infection, irritation to the area and abrasion etc.. I pray that all is well with your son when he is checked out.
I just wanted to say that just because he says he isn't having sex does not mean he isn't having sex. I was a really wild teen - I mean really wild!! I am ashamed of the way I was as a teen and I pray to God my children will never do the things I did. I was sexually active at an early age and denied it all the way. Every time my parent asked me I would act all inocent and deny it. My parents loved me and wanted to believe me but I lied my little butt off. Just my story. I'm praying for you guys.
Brenda, I hope this makes you chuckle, because that's how it's intended. In the Christian and Kevin's Race to Irritate Their Moms, Christian's got the lead... 21 yr old Kevin is still a virgin. Now- with mouthing off.. Kevin gets that medal.
On the other hand... I was only sort of wild. More in attitude than actions. My mom was, and still is, convinced that I was sleeping with half the school. I was a virgin until well into my college years. It was very tough on me for my mom to not believe me. We had a good relationship, but she got it in her head that I was sexually active and that's all there was to it. Many of the rules that were imposed on me were done so because of this.
I was 17 when I become active. My mother I guess had this instinct or something because she hounded me about it for 2 months. At the time I didn't see what the big deal was....she was 14 when she met my father and married at 15. I was responsible about it and was on birth control....didn't start becoming active until I was already on it. Imagine the shock waves that went through the house when my 15 yo sister was having a baby two years later....
Well, just to add to the "my own teen years story" line of the thread.... Personally, my boyfriend and I did a lot of things we considered "messing around" - basically anything BUT if you kwim. I didn't sleep with him until 2 weeks before I turned 18, second semester of my senior year. My mother asked me time and again, and I never lied to her - no, I wasn't sleeping with him. She didn't ask more than that, and I didnt share. I don't think she believed me. LOL At the time, I didn't understand that all of those little "messing around" things were PART of sex. That it's all against God's idea for perfect marriage (which WAS important to me). Anyway, I've been reading up on this thread and keeping you all in prayer.
Thankfully I have changed completely since high school!! And you are so right DaLynn all those "other things" are a part of sex. I'm saying a prayer for all our children right now.
As much as I may want to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that he is telling me the truth about still being a virgin, I'm sorry but I can't say that I even believe it. He came home again last evening with yet another hicky on his neck... trying to tell us that his friend (male) put it there (when I know he was aroud his girlfriend when he wasnn't supposed to be) :? Tracy overheard a telephone conversation last night where his girlfriend said "You were great the other night":!: And so the 10 pm curfew just got earlier and there's no more negotiating!
His male friend put a suckmark on his neck?? Is he trying to tell you he's gay now?? Brenda, you need to go Old School on him- he needs some corporal punishment. It's like he laughs right in your face. If I tried any of this on my mom at that age, she'd have torn the belt in two on my butt.
Tough Love, Brenda, you DON'T want the mother of that girl calling you telling you she is pregnant. Time to tell him he cannot be around her. I wouldn't let him leave the house until he has showed you some respect and trust.
