It seems that whenever I see someone I haven't seen in awhile they start bragging like crazy on their kids or grandkids. They have to tell me all about how great their kids are doing in ps or private school. How they did this program or won that award. They just seem to go overboard on the topic when I didn't even ask how the kids were doing, lol. Is that just what people do when it comes to their kids or is it something else? I never would walk up to someone I hadn't seen in a long time and immediately go off on how great my kids are doing in homeschool and brag, brag, brag. I can't imagine doing that. So, is it just me being super sensitive or what? What in the world would cause them to act this way? (BTW, this has happened with old friends on down to friends of my MIL)
My best guess is that they just don't know what to talk about. My hubby's mom always tells us about everyone in the town she lives in, who died, who met for lunch, blah blah blah....The scary thing is that I'm pretty sure they don't even realize it doesn't really concern me at all. :lol: People love to talk about themself and my guess is that these people are affected by their grandkids etc... and just blab blab blab. I bet it has no relation to the fact that you homeschool. We have a local gal that started a yahoo group and she is always posting on it how great her son does at __________ (fill in the blank). :wink: That is her thing and she has the reputation of being that way....doesn't seem to bother her one bit. Big Hug and don't take it personally. If you feel the need then tell them about the ____ (fill in the blank) project that you all just did. I'm sure it is way more exciting than the piece of paper their kid got for going to school for 100 days. ROFL
Just start bragging right back! I'm sure you have lots to brag about too!!! Actually I think it's a human thing. And that's probably what's closest or dearest to their hearts, so they are proud of it! Plus most people think their kids or grandkids are the best, so everyone else is surly interested in them too, right?! Of course I don't fall into that category, cuz I don't think my kids are the best, I KNOW that they are! :lol: So, would you like to hear all the latest wonderful things my kids have done?!!
I guess I really only "brag" or share accomplishments to my mom and mil. I feel funny just telling my sister or sil because I think they will think I am bragging indeed. I have always been that way. I've never been one to toot my own horn either. I am sure you all are right though. I haven't noticed these people ever doing it before so I guess that's why it stands out now. I'm sure it's me being super sensitive though.
Maybe these people were hoping you WOULD ask, you know? My sister and her girls totally disregard my kids. They just plain don't like them and they tolerate me because I'm an occassional ride to work. When I'm talking to them I'll slip in ' Kevin healed so nicely frpom this last procedure' or 'Jeanne can add one to a number now from memory.' It's not in your face kind of stuff, but I want them to remember my kids are related to them.
Yes, I agree with everyone else, it's something everyone has done or if you haven't done will do in the furture. It's very common thing to do. It's either the kids, hubby,work, hobby or something. That's what people talk about. I agree with Deena, just brag right back. I would, my kids are so special I wouldn't have trouble doing it. Here's a hug to you. Hang in there.
Becky... This happened one day with the lady I'd been friends with so long. She saw me at a store and came walking up and immediately started in about her kids???? Like I cared. She was the one that hadn't even called to check on dd after I told her that she broke her leg. It's been two years now and she walks up like I just talked to her last week and starts bragging about everything her kids have done in ps. I thought that was strange. It was like she was doing it to bug me. That wasn't really normal behavior for her, but I guess maybe she was trying to catch up. The other incident that happened recently was a former teacher of mine and friend of my MIL (HS) who I see fairly often. Her grandkids go to the private school my dd went to. She bragged for 30 min or more on how great that school was and named everything they had learned. She then went on to tell me all the awards they won. It didn't bother me to listen to all that, but I know I would have never done that. She knew we left that school for money reasons only. I liked it too. I know that is what grandparents do, but I thought they did that more with their friends. Oh, btw, I am very inquisitive and a great listener. That is what people have always told me. I am a good friend when that friend is good to me. Well, even when they aren't good to me I'm nice. I usually go a little overboard and do things I'd say some friends wouldn't do for you. Not tooting my own horn, but I felt the need to explain since you made it seem that I wasn't being friendly. I think after all the issues I have had to deal with lately I'm just not putting up with stuff anymore.
I also think it's just something people do. I guess it also depends on the level of bragging. Some people do go overboard. I know I like to brag about my own child, just like anyone else but I try not to say it in a bragging tone. Some people will say "so and so did this, and this, and this". When, if they said like "so and so is getting so big I can't believe it, the other day he did this...". I guess it depends on how you word things and how and what you say. But, for the most part, everyone does it to a certain level. I actually don't mind hearing about what other children are doing no matter if they are homeschooled, in private, or in public school. I think people just want to share, and that's ok I think. Share right back with them.
Okay, I guess I sound bad even asking about this topic? I don't mind hearing about other people's kids either. I like seeing what other kids do. I just don't appreciate it so much when it's a kind of in your face type of thing. I guess I just get and give the wrong impression of things. I suppose I know now why people don't like me.
Missy, why would you think that? Nobody is pointing fingers at you or anything. You asked a question, and we responded, that is all. If you notice I did say "some people go overboard". Please don't take it so personally and negatively.
I have and uncle who does that kind of thing I think you're talking about Missy. His kids do that also. They go overboard in the bragging dept.! If you say I did this. Well, they'll have done that thing, and done it better than you. If you've been to these places, well, they've been to those places and more. If your child did something great, well, that's not so great cuz MY child did THIS! Now THAT kind of stuff I can totally do without!!! It gets old fast and annoying!
Missy, what's really bothering you? I didn't mean you were being mean, I meant maybe they just plain wanted you to ask about their kids, that's all. When they were done talking about their kids you should have laid it on thick about yours. Your kids have plenty to tell others about.
I think depression is getting the best of me. My mom is starting to forget things and shows some signs of dementia. I feel bad about too much and I'm too sensitive. I just need to be on some medication really. I look too deeply into things sometimes and feel I have to be on the defensive for some reason. My feelings get hurt easily and they always have. So, I guess that is the big reason.
Missy, it's ok to vent here until you get your appt. we all need a place, or someone to talk too. You are more then welcome to pm me if you need too. Times are hard but remember we are here for you.
Missy, Another thing to think about is that it is possible some people rely on their kids for their own self worth. I have a VERY close friend who is very insecure with herself, so most everything she does and talks about are her kids and all the things they are doing and how great they are at those things! It bothered me for awhile, then I realized it was her insecurity in herself and if she "bragged" on her kids it somehow makes her feel more better about herself...does that make sense? Anyway, just another point of view to think about.
Hey on this thread, I brag on my own kids. Often I get rude reactions to it and it hurts, my kids are my life most of the time and so that is all I have to talk about with some people. Could be that some people out there want to be our friends so much that they talk about something they think we would care about considering from what I am finding out most of my working friends think that I go beyond the call of duty to home teach and they would all love to do it but.... So they are feeling inferior at times too so talking about thier kid's accomplishments helps them feel like they are spending as much on thier kids as you are, as I am. It evens the playing feild in thier eyes. When I brag about my own kids it is usually because I need something to talk about and since I love my kids to bits they come up first. ( grin) Just my two and a half cents worth or whatever inflation has it up to now! Be blessed not stressed! Teacher Mom
