I agree. We wanted our children to make family their friend and priority. We did everything together. All but one of my children are now grown and most are married with kids of their own. It doesn't make them unsocial or any silly thing like that. They grow up to very stable and well adjusted adults.[/B][/B]
Agree! There was never a "power struggle" in our family. We were the parents and we decided what was best. And yes, PS is not the best place to find a friend. A sibling if he has one or another close , trusted family relative or friend is best.
Sometimes its so hard to figure out what is right. My mother is wonderful but she thinks the kids should always have a friend. Sometimes I wonder if I shelter them way to much because I don't think that way. My dh wanted them to go back to ps. But since we received their testing and they did so well he doesn't mind if they stay home. He told me last night he can't believe how well they are doing. Thank you for setting me straight. Sometimes it so hard to battle with your own mind.
Way to go, mom! Glad you are seeing the fruits of your labor. Yes, it is hard to battle with yourself over these things. We really want to do the right thing and not 'mess up' the kids. This is a great place to come to bounce your thoughts off other like-minded people.
I don't have teens but I was one once upon a time Just my 2 cents.... I agree with 'they had more friends calling when they were in school' A friend is a friend no matter where you go to school. I have 3 friends I've had for YEARS! My cousin who is 4 years younger than me, lives 100 miles away. We talk as often as we can (daily before she opened a restaurant) One friend who is 70 who I've been friends with since I was 13 and one friend who is 24 that I've known since she was born but have counted her as a friend for the past 10 years. These friends have been with me through thick and thin. These are the people that I know I can count on, despite distance, despite the changes we go through in our lives. (despite moves, job changes, marriage, kids, a cheating husband, divorce, drug use, coming out gay, changing values, difference of opinion, and more!) Sure I've had other 'friends' that are really more 'acquaintance' or 'short-term friends' and those friends do have their place in our lives (just as I think online-friends have a place in our lives). But, I don't think we should base important life decisions on these short-term friends. I also often think about back in the day (think before cars and skyscrapers), people didn't have tons of friends. They usually only saw family members and maybe one or two neighboring families on a regular basis. Those people were plenty socialized. I think the need to have 'tons of friends' is 1) false 2) worldly 3) something the public school system/government/media tries to sell us. I've read studies where most people say they have 0-3 'close' friends. But TV and movies try to tell us differently, but what they are selling is an illusion. It's just not what most people have. I feel bad sometimes because my kids son't have a 'best friend' or 'tons of friends' but the truth is, even when my son was in PS, when I tried to connect with other parents for play dates and such, parents were too busy to get our kids together. Once we homeschooled we did co-op and cub scouts for a year, and again there was always talk of 'getting together' but it never happened. And as far as I could tell, it didn't happen much with other kids either. Sure if you lived next door your kids played together, but if it involved planning and driving for one kid to play with another-it didn't happen. Social media .... makes us think even more that we need or have 863 friends. But honestly, I deleted my facebook account recently because really, if you don't care enough to pick up the phone, stop by house, or send a personal email to just me, why should you be privy to photos of my children, everyday happenings, etc. I have no more or no fewer friends than I did before or after facebook. Facebook didn't make me friends. I didn't 'connect' with a single person on FB that would drop everything and come help me out if I needed help at 3 am. The people on the that list have remained the same for the past 10 years. And honestly-there was one addition then-but before that-the same people have been on that list for forever. My point is, I think our society places too much value on the illusion of friends and doesn't really know what a friend is.
