What would you do?

[MonkeyMamma]

Wow.

I just have to say after reading all of these replies that I am certainly glad you are all so perfect and sin free that you are able to judge others so freely and guard your precious children from such evil. :roll:

 

[Healthy Skeptic]

So I just went back through and read everyones comments.

I see that everyone is using the quote by Mahatma Gandhi: Hate the sin, love the sinner.

I just wanted those to know that this is not in the Bible.

 

[Healthy Skeptic]

Wow.

I just have to say after reading all of these replies that I am certainly glad you are all so perfect and sin free that you are able to judge others so freely and guard your precious children from such evil. :roll:

Tiffany, I apologize that you are offended. But I follow the Bible, and it clearly is against the act of homosexuality. It is not I that am sitting in judgement but God.

And I really am sorry. I never mean to offend. But I have to be honest.

 

[MonkeyMamma]

Tiffany, I apologize that you are offended. But I follow the Bible, and it clearly is against the act of homosexuality. It is not I that am sitting in judgement but God.

And I really am sorry. I never mean to offend. But I have to be honest.

Again, I am not offended, just shocked. I too am a Bible believing Christian and therefore very aware of what the Bible says about homosexuality. It is clearly against the act of homosexuality and also very clear about passing judgment on one another. I never said homosexuality was right. I don't agree with it but I am not going to shun my best friend of 25 years because she happens to be a lesbian and I don't think it is necessary to pull out of a Thanksgiving celebration with a homeschooling group because the hosts are a lesbian couple. I honestly have never come across such homophobic people before. They aren't going to damage your children. They are people just like you and me. God doesn't love you more than them. I wonder what would happen here on the Spot if there was a homosexual member here. Would you all be just as judgmental toward them?

 

[KrisRV]

Again, I am not offended, just shocked. I too am a Bible believing Christian and therefore very aware of what the Bible says about homosexuality. It is clearly against the act of homosexuality and also very clear about passing judgment on one another. I never said homosexuality was right. I don't agree with it but I am not going to shun my best friend of 25 years because she happens to be a lesbian and I don't think it is necessary to pull out of a Thanksgiving celebration with a homeschooling group because the hosts are a lesbian couple. I honestly have never come across such homophobic people before. They aren't going to damage your children. They are people just like you and me. God doesn't love you more than them. I wonder what would happen here on the Spot if there was a homosexual member here. Would you all be just as judgmental toward them?

I went back and read everything over well. I have to agree with Tiffany here on this. Why say anything to your children about it. Do you tell them about every person you are going to see before you go some place. Like honey we are going to this place and there is going to be a green man with a red nose don't worry. No you don't I have never said anything to my children. I taught my children you love everyone, no matter what color, shape or what they do. It's what's in the inside that counts not the out. Come on get real they aren't going to do anything in front of everyone, I am sure if you don't say a thing, your children will never know. I know I have taken my kids to many things and we seen alot of them and the girls have never made a big deal out of anything. Its what you make of something, if you make nothing the children will make nothing. Go have fun and enjoy.

 

[Jackie]

Tiffany, you pass judgement every time you tell your child that his behavior is "wrong" or "unacceptable". To be completely judgement free is anarchy. After all, there could be no court system. Even your comments are judging those who don't believe Krista should go.

The Bible CLEARLY condemns homosexuality. I believe we have the responsibility to call this ACT "wrong". We even have the responsibility to try to stop the spread of it. What we do NOT have the responsibility to do is to condemn the offenders to hell. THAT, I think, is the judgement Christ was talking about. We are ALL guilty of sin. The "little" sin of stealing a candy bar seperates us from God as much as homosexuality or any other sin. And so often, self-righteous Christians are quick to condemn people, but are slow to recognize their self-righteousness as just as "big" a sin.

 

[Jackie]

Kris, I hear you, BUT....

The female principal of the local elementary school was gay. Now, she was NOT "flaming" or "in your face" or anything. I've met her, and she's a very nice woman. I've subbed at her school, and she's an EXCELLENT principal. She really cares for her students, and runs an EXCELLENT school (or as excellent as a public school CAN be, lol!) She doesn't bring her partner around the school. But guess what! Almost all of the kids going in as kindergarteners, who doesn't know (and doesn't need to know!) of her orientation, they pretty much ALL do by the time they finish 5th grade. I found that out from Rachael's best friend's big sister. And it really isn't anything "discussed" or "gossiped" about. But somehow the kids know. And many of them, when they see this really nice woman who is really their friend, they figure whatever she's doing can't be THAT wrong.... And to me, that's the biggest danger. The kids come to see this behavior as normal and acceptable.

 

[seekingmyLord]

I just want to say, regardless of how I feel about something, I always get myself into trouble when I don't follow the Lord's leading, especially when I am pressured by fellow believers not to do something or by anyone suggesting that I am being judgemental or over reactive for not doing it.

I know a very ethical woman who is a Pagan. Her ethics are very high in regards to being honest, but she is also true to her religion and that is something one with strong convictions cannot really hide away. Likewise, a homosexual, who strongly believes in her/his sexual orientation, is going to, in some way, exhibit that belief system.

I am not arguing for or against this trip as I feel that is between the person and God, but I don't see this as a case of homophobia. There is a difference between fearing homosexuals and guarding a child's heart to stay true to one's faith. If one is following God's leading, it cannot be wrong regardless of how others perceive it.

 

[FreeSpirit]

I think the Will of God is not going to come from the opinions of others.

Seek your own counsel. Ask yourself. Consult with your husband. Pray.

In my religion we are not encouraged to take other's interpretation of our religious materials. Because man is faulty, and someone can color or change the meanings just slightly. We are supposed to read it ourselves, understand it ourselves, and make decisions ourselves.

Perhaps you could consult your bible. I'll bet the right thing to do it written in those pages.

 

[crazymama]

This whole tread makes me sad

I have an uncle. He and my aunt were married for 30+ years. She had back surgery and it paralized her and she had to go into a nursing home. It eventually came out that my uncle, because he was Catholic(!!!), had spent his entire life living a lie! He is gay. He tried hard to hide it, to supress it, to keep it in the closet. Eventually he couldn't fight it any more. He is now very happy, happier than I ever remember him being... and I grew up spending most of my time at their house.. so I do know that he wasn't happy before. I still love him, and always will, he is still the same person who I have always known and loved, he is just happier now that he doesn't have to lie.

I will stop here, because I know that the tomatos are coming my way... but this really does make me very sad. My kids are taught to love everyone for who they are, not shun them for what they are.

 

[mamaof3peas]

wow!

i guess because my opinion doesnt agree with some you are saying i think i am sinless? that couldnt be farther from the truth, but i was saying that sometimes we feel like doing something and feel like God is giving us the go ahead and then something changes, like this nice woman who says she isnt sure now whether to go. that was it. just that we have to be open for the spirit to guide us.

just because we protect our children from a sinful lifestyle doesnt mean we are homophobic. Good grief does that mean that if you protect your children from alcohol, bad language, sexual immorality of any kind, perverts, and every other thing we can protect them from that we are bad parents? i always thought that was my job as a parent, to guard our hearts and eyes and ears?

 

[seekingmyLord]

It eventually came out that my uncle, because he was Catholic(!!!), had spent his entire life living a lie! He is gay. He tried hard to hide it, to supress it, to keep it in the closet. Eventually he couldn't fight it any more. He is now very happy, happier than I ever remember him being...

Well, I don't like pulling things more off road than they already are, but this begs the question:

Are those who are opposed to exposing their children to homosexual behavior supposed to "live a lie" by not avoiding it when they can?

I appreciate your compassion for your uncle. However, many immoral acts make someone happy. There is a man in my family who is happy with homosexual relationship. But, we should accept homosexual behavior to be a role model behavior because it makes someone happy? Is happiness how we should gauge morality... rather than what pleases God?

I personally am far more sadden that a person does not embrace the Lord than someone else of the same gender.

 

[Jackie]

I think the Will of God is not going to come from the opinions of others.

Seek your own counsel. Ask yourself. Consult with your husband. Pray.

In my religion we are not encouraged to take other's interpretation of our religious materials. Because man is faulty, and someone can color or change the meanings just slightly. We are supposed to read it ourselves, understand it ourselves, and make decisions ourselves.

Perhaps you could consult your bible. I'll bet the right thing to do it written in those pages.

Very wise advice, Free Spirit!

 

[dawninns]

And to me, that's the biggest danger. The kids come to see this behavior as normal and acceptable.

I apologize for butting in on a Chirstian thread but I'd like to point out something.

It's not the behaviour the kids come to see as normal and acceptable, it's the person. After all, they don't witness any of the behaviour.

So maybe this is a chance for a lesson. If you view homosexuality as a sin you can point out that here is a well-respected, well-loved and good person who is commiting a sin. It shows that sin isn't something only bad people do but something we're all capable of . I certainly know too many people who think being Christian or being "good" somehow means they're incapable of sin and so never critically examine their own actions.

It also shows how it's possible to love and respect someone even through their sin, something a lot of people can't do these days but something I think kids do naturally. You'd have to be clear with your children on your values but that ain't a bad thing.

This isn't easy stuff to think about. My only thought for the OP would be that Jesus was pretty clear on loving the sinner. I guess my question would be, how could you express love in this situation? (of course my own answer is that you couldn't do it by not going but that's me )

 

[Healthy Skeptic]

I just want to say, regardless of how I feel about something, I always get myself into trouble when I don't follow the Lord's leading, especially when I am pressured by fellow believers not to do something or by anyone suggesting that I am being judgemental or over reactive for not doing it.

I know a very ethical woman who is a Pagan. Her ethics are very high in regards to being honest, but she is also true to her religion and that is something one with strong convictions cannot really hide away. Likewise, a homosexual, who strongly believes in her/his sexual orientation, is going to, in some way, exhibit that belief system.

I am not arguing for or against this trip as I feel that is between the person and God, but I don't see this as a case of homophobia. There is a difference between fearing homosexuals and guarding a child's heart to stay true to one's faith. If one is following God's leading, it cannot be wrong regardless of how others perceive it.

Very well said. Thank You.

 

[Jackie]

I apologize for butting in on a Chirstian thread but I'd like to point out something.

It's not the behaviour the kids come to see as normal and acceptable, it's the person. After all, they don't witness any of the behaviour.

So maybe this is a chance for a lesson. If you view homosexuality as a sin you can point out that here is a well-respected, well-loved and good person who is commiting a sin. It shows that sin isn't something only bad people do but something we're all capable of . I certainly know too many people who think being Christian or being "good" somehow means they're incapable of sin and so never critically examine their own actions.

It also shows how it's possible to love and respect someone even through their sin, something a lot of people can't do these days but something I think kids do naturally. You'd have to be clear with your children on your values but that ain't a bad thing.

This isn't easy stuff to think about. My only thought for the OP would be that Jesus was pretty clear on loving the sinner. I guess my question would be, how could you express love in this situation? (of course my own answer is that you couldn't do it by not going but that's me )

Oh, Dawn! We always enjoy it when you butt in! You always have such an...interesting...perspective !

I do think you made some excellent points!

 

[seekingmyLord]

I apologize for butting in on a Chirstian thread but I'd like to point out something.

It's not the behaviour the kids come to see as normal and acceptable, it's the person. After all, they don't witness any of the behaviour.

So maybe this is a chance for a lesson. If you view homosexuality as a sin you can point out that here is a well-respected, well-loved and good person who is commiting a sin. It shows that sin isn't something only bad people do but something we're all capable of . I certainly know too many people who think being Christian or being "good" somehow means they're incapable of sin and so never critically examine their own actions.

It also shows how it's possible to love and respect someone even through their sin, something a lot of people can't do these days but something I think kids do naturally. You'd have to be clear with your children on your values but that ain't a bad thing.

This isn't easy stuff to think about. My only thought for the OP would be that Jesus was pretty clear on loving the sinner. I guess my question would be, how could you express love in this situation? (of course my own answer is that you couldn't do it by not going but that's me )

It is true that God is waiting with open and loving arms for anyone who will come to Him. Jesus showed grace to everyone who was willing to repent just as the Father always has done.

You see, I believe that God did not change from the OT to the NT. The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was a rather clear message that not only did the Lord find their actions unacceptable, but that He did not wish these people with their behavior to be on the face of the earth to influence others. Now, granted, those people, as the Bible describes, were bold in their sin. However, being quiet in one's sin does not change the nature of the sin.

To witness the person is to witness the behavior of that person and I have found that children notice much more than they can consciously process and understand. However, I agree it could be a teachable moment, but I would say that depends on if that is the Lord's leading.

 

[mamaof3peas]

to the original poster, whom ive forgotten your name sorry

so, has any of this helped you make a decision or just made it harder? i guess everyone has passionate views about this subject and wants their opinions heard. i think that if you think we are being self ritous,I dont know how to spell that you being those in the opinion that because i dont think i would go i think im perfect, you are wrong. i am more than ready to admit my many flaws and sins, i was "active" before i was married, i cuss on occasion, i am not always the submissive wife the Lord wants me to be, i forget way too often what a blessing my children are, i am sometimes pressured by other christian friends to let my kids do or watch things i really dont want them doing or watching, i dont trust God enough with our money to make a conscious effort to tithe every paycheck, i dont trust God enough with my kids well being so im somewhat over protective, ive lied, told secrets, screamed at way too many family members, held grudges, slapped at my dh once, threatened to divorce my dh twice when i thought he had a girlfriend (turns out i was only half right, she wanted to be he had no interest), almost gave up on having the baby we tried so long to have, almost lost myself (being a good mother, wife, christian) to alcohol after 2 pregnancy failures half way through, and im sure there are many many more that im failing to remember. i know im a sinner. my kids know im a sinner. i cant hide that, and i wouldnt want to. but that doesnt mean i feel comfortable taking my kids to a hs party that is hosted by a homo couple. just wouldnt do it. no judgement, just wouldnt put my kids in that position. so sorry you dont think im being christian enough maybe, idont know. just wanted you guys to know, i know im not perfect and now you all know that by my long list of sins

 

[Faith]

I've been following this thread incredibly closely and did start to post to it last night but had to walk away as i may have had rotten fruit thrown at me , before i add what i really think and feel on the subject i have a couple of questions to throw out there and i hope no one minds me asking them ....

What would be your thoughts and feelings if one day when one of your children were old enough and came to you and told you they had fell in love with someone of the same sex?

And second apart from monkeymomma and crazy momma , (im sorry i singled you two out) has anyone been in a close friendship with someone who is gay?

And lastly in response to a comment monkeymomma (apologies again)posted would you boycott the board or refuse to post or come here if you discovered a member was gay???

Please note i'm not aiming or flaming anyone i have a genuine interest in this ...

 

[Jackie]

Yes, I have had a good friend who was gay. She is no longer a good friend, not because of her orientation, but because she has since passed away.

Yes, I would continue at this board if I knew for a fact that a member was gay.

What would I do if my child announce s/he was gay? Good question. First of all, I really don't see this as any "worse" than other sins. My BIL has been living with a woman for quite some time, as is my dss. I consider this lifestyle just as "wrong" as a gay lifestyle. We are not especially close to them, but they are family and we treat them as family. I will buy my dss' girlfriend a Christmas present, and put it under the tree with the rest of the family presents. She is welcome in my house. There has been trouble with her and my dss closing themselves up in an upstairs bedroom to "take a nap" (and I believe they WERE taking a nap, as they said, btw!). Carl told them they were not to be in a bedroom like that anyway, which offended my dss. Carl didn't care; it wasn't going to happen. So they didn't come over for a while (until they "needed" to to do their laundry, and they couldn't afford to take it to a laundry mat!)

ANYWAY, I think I would treat a gay family member pretty much the same. I would not approve of their lifestyle, and would restrict their contact with my children. But I would also be polite and sociable to them, and not "not attend" things simply because they were there. Of course, that would also depend on how "in your face" they were. I am assuming that they would respect me as much as I would respect them. If they could not, it would be totally different.