The secretary at my church bought Emma the cutest earrings and matching bear pin for Christmas. The only problem, and I wouldn't share this with the secretary because her heart was in the right place, is Emma is not allowed to pierce her ears until she is around 15. This is something Handsome and I agreed upon when we found out we were having a girl. Emma wants to wear the earrings because she loves them but knows she can't have pierced ears yet and at the same time is afraid it would hurt to much to do it. My mom has gotten on me in the past for not doing it as a baby because it really doesn't hurt as much but I explained that if we did it as a baby, we would be doing it because we wanted it done not because she wanted it done. Another time my MIL had told Emma she was taking her to the mall and would get her ears done. I flipped my lid and told her that she may not agree with our rules but they are ours and we apply them to our daughter because we feel this is best. So here is the dilemma. I really want to stick to my guns and have her wait because when I really think about it, I still think she should be around 15. I know Handsome might question it at first, when I ask him, but as long as it isn't something horrendous, he will allow me to do it in the end. What do you all think? Handsome is firm on the hair dye issue. He said she can't dye her hair until she is 18 and lets her know that he doesn't think she should ever do it because she has very beautiful hair. But I am sure the earring issue will fly, though he does worry about her growing up to fast. Any advice would be welcome. I guess if I do not feel right about it then I shouldn't do it at all. Then I think that she might like it. Then I think, just because she likes something doesn't mean she has to do it. HELP!!!! Patty
By the way, we do not mind her wearing clip on earrings. It is just the piercing that is the issue. Patty
Both of my DD's have thier ears pierced. DD was 7 and the other 5. They are doing well with them and both got a set with 24 cute pairs of earings in their stockings in a heart shaped tin (from K-mart) We have only had one problem the youngest was trying to get her own ear ring out and did not remove the back first, and it got stuck inside, but a trip to the ER and it was out. (I've never had a kid stick a bean or pea up their nose but this was what I felt like was equal to that) I prefer my youngest to wear the backings with the plastic shield on them. (so that problem wont happen again.) But both girls come to me to remove and put in the ear rings and they have fun with them. DD just made a pair by her self with a jewlery kit she got yesterday.
By the way......... just think about some other places kids are piercing, and perhaps it will settle you some about the ears.
I think that also worries me a bit. If I let her pierce them now then she might want to add more when she is 15 instead of getting her first at 15. Then on the other hand, I do not have to allow her to have more. I would think this would be easy to decide but for some reason it isn't. Patty
I didn't get mine done until I was in college. Actually, Mom was afraid I had gotten engaged! My off-again-on-again boyfriend had sent me a BEAUTIFUL hanging basket of Swedish Ivy for Valentine's day, and then I got my ears pierced. My parents were coming to visit, and I told Mom 1) WAIT 'TIL YOU SEE WHAT DARREN GOT ME FOR VALENTINE'S DAY!!! and 2) I got a big surprise for you!!! in the same letter, lol! Anyway, Rachael wanted to get hers done when she was 8. So when I took her in for her check up, I made her ask her doctor if there was any reason why she shouldn't get them done, and what she should know about them. The doctor said that any little girl old enough to ask was old enough to get them done. Then Faythe decided she wanted hers done for her 8th b-day, too. But her birthday is in May, so I made her wait until the end of the summer, because I didn't trust her to care for them properly while at camp or swimming in the lake, etc. Both my girls have been very responsible for them. I don't think it's a big deal, but I also understand where you're coming from. I think it's a "pick your battle" issue. If you feel strongly about it, then stick to your guns. If not, then you might consider whether it's worth losing sleep over.
My 2 oldest (5 and 8) girls have theirs pierced. My rule is that you have to be at least 4, but they have to ask me to have it done. I haven't made either of them get their ears pierced. My oldest dd was 5 when she had hers done, and my dd5 was 4. She was asking earlier, but I held out til she was 4. My dd3 has been asking for a while now, but I haven't let her do it yet. I keep telling her when she stops sucking her thumb, she can get earrings. She may be an adult! Jackie said it perfectly!
My dd was 8 when she had hers done, but when her dd, my dgd was only about 9 months old, she had hers done. I was livid... of course she is not my child.... but I am raising her now. She is always losing the backs, then the earring falls out, then she cries when I put them back in... She of course is only 3 and still not ready for earrings.
It is totally a personal decision and you have to be okay with it. Don't just do it because your daughter got a gift and you don't want to hurt someone's feelings. If you think she can take care of them and if you and your hubby are okay with it I say go for it. If not then wait. As far as haircolor goes - My dd10 wants hilights. I do not want her to get them but I also worked as a stylist for 5 years and have seen much worse than a kid getting subtle hilights. I told her my rule was she can get subtle hilights (that I will do) when she is 13 but I now thinking I may do them for her 11th b-day in June as a surprise. It is all a personal decision that is the parents sole responsibility to make. Do what you want to do not what others think you should do.
Thank you all!!! This isn’t a battle with Ems as much as a battle in my heart. For us, piercing is a big deal. It is something that is a permanent marking on the body as well as altering the body from its perfect state in which it was created. I am not saying it is wrong because I have earring holes, although I rarely wear earrings because my ears get infected very easy plus I tend to loose them. I thought about Tiffany's post and reminded myself why we wanted to wait. I decided not to even ask Handsome about it. Although we want her to be able to choose for herself, I do not think even at 9 years old, she can completely understand that it is a modification to the body, regardless of how minor. At 15 she should be able to understand this and make a choice. I remembered talking about it along time ago and we planned on making it something special not simply something she wanted but something that has to do with her growing up. Something like a mom and daughter bonding time. The plan was to make a day of it. Get our hair done and ears as well. If she decided she wanted her ears pierced, that is. Handsome had said that she could pick out any stud she wanted, within reason of course. I remember my dear friend telling me about when she had her ears pierced. It was a special day and memory that she and her mom shared. They did something along the lines of what I hope to do. I should have shared this in my first post so there was more understanding. To be honest, I didn't start thinking about it again, like I said, until I read Tiffany's post. I always tell people that if something just doesn’t seem right then you should wait. So I am going to take my advice. After making this decision, I do feel relieved with my choice. I guess sometimes I get caught up in an idea and second guess my reasoning to begin with. I appreciate all the replies!!!! Thanks!!! Patty
Patty when you do let her pierce her ears I think making a mother daughter day of it is the way to go. That is what Samantha and I did when she got hers pierced. She is 10 and got them done last April before her formal banquet for dance. We went with a friend of mine and her daughter. We got the girls ears pierced and then had lunch, did a little "girly" shopping and got our nails done. It was fabulous!! No matter if you do it now or 10 years from now she will always remember that day as a wonderful special time with mom.
I got my ears done when I was 12 I think. I think babies look adorable with piecred ears personally, but if I had a daughter I would at least wait until she was at an age where she could make the decision herself. I would hate for my daughter to not like them later in life when it wasn't her decision in the first place. I'm not set on an age, but at least if she is making the decision herself, whatever age is ok in my book. As far as hair dying, I think I was around 15 when I did it the first time. I have always had some kind of highlights since then and until I was 18 I also had to discuss it with my parents. No crazy or "out there" colors either. I usually went with blonde or red.
Jennie, your not a natural blond? I honestly thought you were. My mom used to allow me to color my hair when I was 11 or 12. The first time I colored it, it was purple! It was horrible when I look back at photos. At the time I was positive I looked fabulous.:lol: I wouldn't really mind Emma coloring her hair at an earlier age but in this area Handsome wants her to wait and I understand. It isn't going to destroy her if she has to wait. Besides she has a combination of both our hair. She has my brown hair, a bit lighter, and Handsome's blondish brown highlights. His hair is blond but since it is short, it appears brown. Patty
Pam~ get that thumb out of that child's mouth! It took over 4,000 dollars to straighten out my son's teeth! Patty~ my 20 yr old SON wants his ear pierced!
Patty, it sounds like a plan! If waiting is that important to you, then it's what you should do. Also, if your ears react so strongly to pierced earrings, what are the chances of hers doing the same thing? It would be easier to deal with that with an older child than a younger one.
I had my older two daughter done when they were tiny, but Joyce is a different complexion and I noticed from early on that she scars easy. My concern with her being bi-racial is the issue of keloids. I decided to see how she did with scarring and then wait until she was old enough to help with the responsibility of them. She was probably 9 when we got hers done. My best friend in HS was not allowed to get hers done nor her sis. Their dad was verrrry strict on this issue and this issue alone! "If God meant you to have holes in your ears he would have put them there!". Her sis finally bought a home kit a few years ago and they both pierced theirs. They were both about 40! I was about 16 when I finally got mine done. I had a ggm who wanted me to get them done when I was little but I wasn't up to it!
You can take wire clippers and cut the posts off of them then glue them to some clip-ons. You should be able to find some blank clip ones or remove the bobbles from some and recycle them. Just an idea.
I had thought of doing this. I think I can purchase some clip ons at Michael's, the ones you decorate yourself. Thanks! Patty
I got my ears pierced at 11. It was a big decision for my mom also. She wanted me to wait until I was 12 but I wore her down...lol. My mom still doesn't have her ears done. She is too afraid of the pain. Honestly, I don't think it hurts all that much. I used to pierce ears when I worked at Spencers while in college. My first ear piercing was a 6 year old girl named Gloria. She didn't cry a bit. I once had a guy threaten me if it hurt. So, I really punched down hard on the staple thingy and lingered a bit. lol. Anyway, my dd got her ears pierced when she was 5. However, she has really sensitive skin and her ears got infected somewhat easily. She took good care of them, even a bit obessed with cleaning her ears nightly, but she still had issues. She could only wear earrings for sensitive ears. She decided on her own not to wear earrings anymore at 7. She didn't think earrings were worth the trouble. Now, she wishes she could wear them. I am glad she took them out because the chick who pierced them did them crooked. It wasn't noticable at first which is why I didn't remove them right away. Geesh, I should have done them. I was obessed about getting them straight. Anyway, it is a personal decision. My dh won't let my dd wear nail polish of any kind outside of the house. I am not sure when she is allowed to wear make up, but I am sure rapture will occur before then. She has a peppermint chapstick that is super red. When she applied it, it made her lips slightly---barely noticable---pink....she is not allowed to wear it. LOL. I won't have nails, ears or make up battles, she can just talk to her father. (at some point I will say something to him but in the meantime I am just fine with her talking to him. lol.)
My mom is always painting the girls nails and letting them put her lipstick on (lightly)......I don't mind, its time they share together, Starting when DD was 5 she took the girls to get their nails done with her on their birthday--DD was born on my mom's birthday. I thought they did a good job, light pink with little white daisiys on the thumbs.
