As you know, we have been praying and considering what we should do for school next year. Dh and I both love the idea of hs, but feel like the kids are not doing very well with it. Which falls on me as the "teacher". I am just not good at this (not smart enough, disciplined enough). I know I am going to get a lashing for saying that, but I truly feel that it is true. I really need someone who can just lay eveything out for me, then I can follow that plan! However, the thought of putting them back in school is....UGH! Ok...to the point...we have started the initial registration process of enrolling them in a virtual charter school called Connections Academy. It is something I am nervous about, but feel would give me and the kids that extra support and accountability. Well, we just found out that they will be doing a "lottery" to choose who gets accepted into the program (they only accept 700 in our state) on Friday. The most important thing is that we are doing what God wants us to do for our kids. Period. So, will you all please pray for us this week. That God will show us clearly what we are suppoped to do. I have been praying that if this program is what would be best for our family, that we will be accepted into it. If we don't get accepted, then what? continue hs with a new plan? Or go back to ps? We just need clear direction. I don't do well in "limbo", at all! LOL Thanks for reading this and praying for our situation! Edited to say: As I am reading this after I posted, am realizing that maybe you could pray for my lack of confidence I have in myself in this area! That is probably my biggest obstacle...it reminds me of something PrairieHome said...that my dh will take the attitude that I am giving (not in those exact words...) but you kwim?
I will certainly be praying. These decisions are so very difficult. We are always striving for the best we can do for our children it weighs so heavy on our hearts. Let us know what happens.. I'm praying.
We are in our 3rd and believe me I am no one to give great pearls of wisdom, but honestly the 2nd yr. was THE worst. I was militant the 1st yr. which wore me and the dd's out. That lead into being discouraged and feeling inadequate the second. Well, something happened this year. It just clicked. I decided to be as diligent as I wanted them to be and I set out to make it interesting. This has been a lot of work, but the payoff has been incredible. I am in NO way trying to sway you, like I said I don't have qualifications to give advice. This is all just to say I totally understand what you are feeling. I think you have a good option with the virtual school you are considering. Anyway..didn't mean to ramble.
Please don't hestitate to give me your thoughts on this. I am completely open to hearing it all! It is helpful to me and I need to hear it. So, thank you and any experience you have to offer is welcome.
I have a friend who hs'd for 2 years(she planned it as a temporary thing) and exactly followed the curriculum of the Christian school her dd had attended (abeka). That seemed to give her the confidence that her dd was where she should be and said that it was an invaluable motivator for her as she didn't feel she had the focus to do it any other way. I have no idea if that made any sense!!!
Leslie, I am sending pixie dust your way for the best possible resolution to this situation. If you feel the charter online school is the way to go, then it is probably what is best for your kids. You know them best. Don't sell yourself short. Only you know how the kids are progressing, but I know you are doing the absolute best you can. Maybe things aren't as bad as they seem. If they do not get accepted to the school do you have a back-up plan? Maybe if you decide to continue HSing you should consider a differnt curriculum that is layed out step by step, lesson by lesson. Some of us are more flexible than others. I for one need a plan to follow with the teacher's guide leading me along the way. I just want to remind you that we are all here for you no matter what you decide.
Leslie, I will be praying for you! For what it's worth, just know that if God wants you to homeschool, He WILL provide the way and the means and the strength, etc.! He can give you that confidence! Maybe this is an area He wants to work on in your life. If that's the case, then the process may be a little "painful"! But if you persevere, pray HARD and turn everything over to Him daily (and hourly, and "minutely"), He WILL help you gain the victory! I have a suspicion that God doesn't want your kids in ps either, otherwise you wouldn't have a bad taste in your mouth when you think about it! I don't want to push you either, because it may work out some other way. But if you think God may be leading you to still homeschool, then I just want you to know that He can and will provide the way to do it! You are a wonderful person Leslie! Just know that you are loved and being prayed for by me! And I will also pray for your children. God can work in their lives also to help them see the benefits and settle in!
I was thinking of going back to that other thread and asking if you had ever heard, yet, Leslie. That lottery has been on my mind and in my prayers. I imagine the tension from waiting is running pretty high at your house! You are wanting so much to do the right thing for your children, and I am sure you'll find it. The strange thing for me, however, is that even in looking back on decisions we made in faith, I'm tempted to "second guess" our choices and wonder if we actually did the right things. Something's not functioning right in our spirits here. This is what we, as children of the King should do: We should be able to look forward with confidence, knowing that the Lord gave us the ability to choose. Yeah! We are made in His image! He delights in our wrestling with issues, in our beseeching His guidance, and in our going forward with confidence that He is able to lead His own children. (Please know that I am "preaching" to myself here!) Then, when it's over and we look back upon the years with their obvious weaknesses and could-be regrets, we should look back with profound thanksgiving, that His power is great enough to fill in all the holes. His Blood more than compensates for our failings. Have I ever shared the story of the great composer, Paderewski? This is my paraphrase of that classic event: Paderewski was not only a famous Polish politician, but also a concert pianist. The story goes that a mother took her young son to hear him play, in hopes to inspire him to work more diligently on his practicing. They went early to the concert hall. While they were waiting and the mother was visiting with the person beside her, temptation to touch and try out the beautiful grand piano on the stage overcame ds, and he crept up onto the stage and started playing "Chopsticks," complete with sour notes and all. Mortification set in for the mother and she hollered, "Stop it, right now!" Ushers started rushing forward to remedy the impropriety; but before they could reach the stage, Ignace Paderewski, who had been straightening his tie behind the curtains, emerged behind the boy, leaned over him, and instructed him, "Keep right on playing! You're doing great!" His mighty hands reached first on one side of the piano to play accompanying trills and then on the other to add magnificent chords. The boy's "sour notes" became diminished 7ths and minor chords, when heard along with the master's touch. Lost in the beauty of harmonizing together, they played with rapture! It was one of that boy's finest moments of his entire life! Leslie, some day you will look back upon these years and see that The Master has taken whatever decision you made and turned it into a glorious symphony. Your children "will rise up and call you blessed." And we'll all be so proud of you!
Of course Prairie Home and Deena are absolutely right. I do hope I didn't come across as trying to convince you anything because that was no where in my mind. You are supported here in whatever decision you make.
Leslie, I agree that the 2nd year was hard. The first I was excited and ready to do it. The 2nd, my confidence wasn't quite so high and I was struggling with what worked for our family. This year I feel like I've finally worked out some of the kinks! I've settled on some curriculums that I really think work for us and have had more confidence in ordering for next year. I'll be praying that God show you His will and give you (and your dh) the confidence to folllow.
Yes...I am making plans as if they will be home. I am searching out curriculum, etc. I know we like the SOS for certain subjects. Ds12 likes the math, science and lang. arts, and dd10 likes the science and language arts, and we like the math ok for her, but we are lookng at some other more hands-on for her possibly. We are looking at some of the different history that has been shared recently. So, yes, I am thinking in that way. Thanks for your well wishes!
Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement. I feel like I ask for it all the time...feeling kinda needy, I guess. But it is so much appreciated and very helpful to me. Prairie, isn't it funny how we second guess what we were so confident God led us to do in the first place. I tend to lose sight of that. I was so sure this is what God wanted....and I know that at least for the time we have been home, it is what we were supposed to do. I guess now, my second guessing is about where we go from here. It is helpful to hear that others really struggled in their 2nd year. That is encouraging and gives me hope. So maybe, if we can stick it out and persevere (as PH said) our 3rd year and on will be good. Deena, whatever God leads us to, I am prepared for any of the "pain" that goes with it. Actually, no matter what the answer is, there will be a certain "pain" that I will have to adjust to. Whether it be giving my kids to ps, following a heavy schedule with the charter school, or learning how to be a better teacher at home. I am definitely going to have to allow God to stretch me. Just reading all of these posts I am feeling more at ease and confident (it is just keeping it that is the hard part!). You all are so great at giving support. Thanks so much!!
You know, the other thing I am struggling with is dh. I feel so much pressure from him to run things a certain way and he likes it done completely opposite. I know I need things more structured for my own good, but relaxed at the same time. I think that is why dh likes this charter school so much. It is schedule like ps and he feels it is beter for all of us that way.
