My parents have never been to big on the idea of us hsing our two children. The other day we had the best chance to show them how we did it. They were coming ove to put up a gate for dog, that he had made. When they got here we were right in the middle of our lessons. But what do you think my kids did? They acted like they didn't know what was going on. They ran around the house laughing and playing. I came back in and told them to sit down and finish their work. They couldn't stop playing. So I just let them stop while my parents were here and they could start back when they left. Now my dad thinks that all they do is play. Because when they don''t want to do their work I let them play. What he don't know is that,it was much easier to let them have a break at that time than to argue with them. Now he hates hs even more. He is now wanting them back in ps next year. Heck he even said to put them in today and let them take the state test. All they can talk about now with me is putting them back in ps. Just when I had my mom on my side they go and pull a stunt like this. I am so angry at my kids right now :x . I let them know just want their granddaddy and grandma have said. I asked them are they proud of themselvels. They are to old to act like this. My dd was to take an English test at that time and she threw a fit not to take it. My ds was to finish his math work and he couldn't stop talking and playing. Great just great. :x I am one MAD MAMA right now. :x :x
Well, for what it's worth, I gave up schooling whenever my parents dropped by, too. So please don't kick yourself too hard! It IS much easier to let them visit with the grandparents. My mom use to interrupt us on a regular basis, but has moved father away so that things are more settled down. The difference is that my parents are VERY SUPPORTIVE of homeschooling. THere's nothing you can do about your parents. Sorry, but that's the truth! Only time will show them that you're not some crazy lady that just wants to keep your kids with you forever, and lets them play all day while you eat bonbons, watch TV, and let the house go, LOL! What you might do is, when you know they're coming, to time your lessons so they can take a "planned break" to correspond with the visits. You might tell the kids straight out that they don't have their math done before Grandma gets here, they will have to finish it before visiting. My mom was eventually supportive of that. "No, I can't talk with you until you get your math done. Hurry and finish it so we can visit!" It's very rare I'm dropped in on unexpected any more!
Why do I do this? I an getting so tired of fussing at my 13 year old. I hate being a bear to her, but I can't get her to do her work. He has not done any of her Health, Science, or Lit. nor History. She is rebelling badly. My ds is getting out of the way, says he is scared when I start fussing at her. I hate it when I fuss. I don't like it when she pushes me to that point. I am usually a very calm person, until she starts her fussing and saying things. Then I lose my cool. :x Pray for us.
Same thing happens here. I just take a break if the grandparents come to say hello. If you were on your job and had a visitor then you'd probably take a break to talk to them as well. Imagine a child and how they feel when family comes by. I assume they want to break and play and talk so I let them. I also got frustrated in the beginning when my kids acted that way but now I see it differently.
Jackie the visit was planned for later that day, after school. But my daddy wanted to see how we homeschooled and decided to comes 2 hours early. Without calling or telling me. I guess, I got mad because at the age of 13 and 10 they should know how to act. Its not like we don't see my parents. We see them 3 to 4 times a week and talk to them everyday. My ds has said that he was sorry for acting like that, and that he will never do it again. My dd has yet to think that she has done anything wrong. (Sigh) She thinks that I am over reacting. That I shouldn't have fussed at her, and that I shouldn't have made her go to her room and think about it. :x I HATE HAVING A TEENAGER!!! :x I miss my sweet little girl that would do what she was told, and hardly ever fussed of argued. I want those days back. :cry: Those of you that have older teenagers please tell me it getts better.
Vicky you have to try to remember your parents aren't your boss anymore. That's not easy to do, believe me! That's YOUR house, YOUR kids, YOUR life- not theirs.
Vicky, in that case, I think I'd be trying VERY HARD to have patience with Dad and not wring his neck!!! Maybe telling him, "Dad, I had planned on you stopping by later. We're in the middle of school and you are disrupting it. Now go away so I can finish what I had planned." (I know...talking to a dad like that will get him all huffy, because he "was trying to help in the first place..." Sigh......)
Vicky, My heart goes out to you. We all struggle at some point with our kids completing lessons. Homeschool, public or private school most teens test the limits. I think you have three separate issues here though. First forget about convincing your parents. When they show up wanting a homeschool show, I'd either welcome them in for a visit or ask them to come back later. You have to decide how to handle them, but some days are just easier if you don't fight it. I'd say "Wow, your early!" Then just take a break and visit. Next, your dd and son need to complete their work. Easier said than done. You might try new consequences. As far a teenage attitude goes, pick your battles. They do out grow it eventually. Living through it is the hard part. :shock:
Vicky, I am so sorry to hear that you had *one of those days*. Yep, the ones that we all pull our hair out and just wanna scream! One thing that you need to consider with your daughter is HORMONES. Yep...they are nasty and ugly and might even get uglier before they get better. (sigh). I also hate to tell you this but...your son will go through what is known as the rooster syndrome. (sigh). Anyway...I highly recommend that you check out some of the Smoothing The Way seminar tapes. They are only $6 and really great. http://www.smoothingtheway.com/inde...amp;task=blogcategory&id=69&Itemid=57 Avoiding Resistance would be a good one for you to listen to. Teaching Tips is the topic for February and bummer they don't have a tape listed for that one....could just be missing from the website so...I'd ask Mary James. ) BUT...Teaching tips is broken into two parts. K-6 and 7th grade and up One of the things for the older kids is to have them make up the lesson plan. A few books you might want to check into... How to Really Love Your Teenager by Ross Campbell and Five Love Languages of Teenagers by Gary Chapman BIG HUG!!!!!!
Hi ! I'm very much a newbie here (as far as posting goes) but I've been lurking for awhile. I wanted to reccomend a site that I belong to and love. It's clear and to the point. We've incorporated a lot of it into our house and life is so much more peaceful. www.atriptothewoodshed.com I hope this helps and I wish you well with your family - I've had my share of hurdles too. Lori
Vicky... I want to let you know that even if the visit was planned as I did one time, things go all wrong, even when the kid are PRIMED..Some days those kids just don't cooperate and they have to be on the days when we want them to shine the most. My first year of homeschooling, my son's ps teacher came by to visit. Of course, MOMMA wants to show off :wink: so I tell my oldest to show his teacher the *long i* sound..Mind you,we had reviewed all of our work on that day before she got there.. Guess what he did? He drew a R-E-A-L-L-Y long i on the paper. YEP..that was it..This LONG I covered about 4 lines..... :lol: :shock: :lol: Guess what I did? Yep turned 2 shades of that color..........I KNEW he KNEW what I meant, but when the teacher got there he got a BRAINFART :lol: So much for my showing him off and expecting him to act *home educated*..
I think you are going to have to deal with your parents one way or another. It's time to let them know that the subject of hs is closed. Try this, "I'm sorry you caught us on a bad day, but we are NOT going to be sending them back to ps. If you can't respect that, then we need to end this conversation." If they persist, leave. They might be mad for a while, but they'll get over it. A question about your daughter. Does she understand that it isn't just an issue of her not following directions, but the fact that she totally humilliated you in front of your parents? One of the things that teens will do is not make the connection between a simple act (standing up from the table and walking around, taking a break to talk to grandpa) and the actual contextual results of choosing to engage in those acts at an inappropriate time (Result: your parents think you are a terrible mom and the kids are brats). Maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk to her a little about how bad it makes you feel to have to deal with your parents when they act that way. Teenaged girls seem very in tune to feelings and emotions. They definately love drama! Maybe letting her in on the power struggle that is going on between you and your parents will entice her to "get on your side" and end this in a good way for you.
Thanks everyone. I am glad we have a place that we can talk about different things. My dd told me last night that she was sorry for acting the way she did. That she was wrong and she knew it ws wrong to act like that. I Love my parents. They came by again yesterday and we talked about what happened. My children both told them they were sorry for acting like brats. I was speechless when both came out and told them that. :shock: My dd also told them that we never act like that during school. My dad asked why did you do it when they were here. She told them because she was mad at me and wanted me to look bad in front of them. :shock: My parents told her that was not a way to act and that they were very disappointed in the both of them. That they wanted to see what they were learning. But because of the way they acted, they didn't get to see how hs was working. And they now need more than ever to come over and see how they learned everyday. I know I don't have to please my parents but they are my rock. My mom and I have never been very close and now we are very close. We talk about everything. I have always wanted to have my daddy's approval on everything. We are a very close nit family. I also have two older brothers and we are always doing something or calling eachother. My family has been my support group through my "shunning". My dads a Baptist deacon/ preacher. My dh's family doesn't even talk. His brother and s-i-l have been in jail no telling how many times, for drugs. His mom never comes over. They are nothing like my family, who talk every day. So it very important that my kids have a close tie to my family. I wish I could tell them to come back or to come at a later time. But they love to just drop by. I do however live 30 mins from them. They really want us closer. My dad is now retired and wants to help make our house better. So he is always buying or making something for me. I usually never ask for it in the first place. But he is that way. My mom comes just to visit. Oh I hope my ds never goes through the rooster stage. My nephew is doing that now. He is very much in love with himself. His girlfriend broke up with him, because of the fact he thinks he knows everything, and walks around like he is all that and more. My ds is very immature he may be going on 11 but he doesn't act like one. He still sleeps with a teddy bear, and a bed full of other stuffed animals, and loves to be held. He is a mama's baby and will tell you that he is. I sometimes love it, and sometimes I wish he would stop. :wink: But I do love all the hugs and kisses. I know that will one day stop. But for now he's still my baby.
Hey Vicky, don't let yourself get too discouraged. I homeschooled my oldest for a couple years and it was going great. We had a spell(pretty drawn-out) where he didn't want to cooperate for anything and I put him back in PS. He's been there for more than 2 years now and I'm starting homeschooling again this summer. Now I get to dread the school thinking I'm "hopping" my children around. Really hoping they don't mess with me too much and very much regretting putting him back in PS in the first place. Seems I've had MORE power struggles and MORE problems and he's not accomplishing near as much there as he did at home. In retrospect, I think I should have just taken a break for a while to relieve the burnout, as opposed to putting him back in PS. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing, but man was I wrong!!! Not to mention, he's in a "special ed" class that has a student teacher ratio of 2 teachers for 34 students, all of which are on a different level. I've been volunteering in the classroom on a very regular basis, and I'm horrified to think of how much more these kids would be learning and catching up on if there were more adults working with them. Aaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Boat Gal! As for Vicky, apparantly we were both typing at the same time. Real glad to hear that your kids sucked it up and tried to make good with your folks about what happened!!!! Amazing what they'll do sometimes!
Whoops! I guess we were all typing at the same time. I meant that for Vicky. Here's one for you! Vicky, What, in your opinion, made the difference that got your dd to come around and admit she had done something that she needed to apologize for?
Hello new chicas! Nice smiley's! Are they somewhere on this site? Anyway.....one thing I've done to satisfy my mom's curiosity is to "do school" at their house. We had plans at their place one day and mom said "well, I don't want to interfere with school"....so we brought "school" with us that day. It's amazing how well kids work when there at-home distractions and comfort zones are removed. Another thing we have done is to use grandparents as people to share the kids' work with. Once in a while they will have a requirement in Awana or something like that to share work or a story with someone. It keeps feeding the grandparent's curiosity while helping to meet the child's needs as well.
