But Becky, some kids are harder to deal with, that have attitudes like that. That's how my oldest was! What I don't understand is how she will be better off with a bad attitude in school, and enjoy learning better in school? Maybe she will. I'm just thinking it could make it WORSE, not better, because there won't be a mom to help her see the errors of her ways. Besides, it's cool in school to have that type of attitude! There are ways for you to teach her the proper way to respond, even though it aint easy, rather than her peers telling her how cool she is with that attitude. Just givin' some food for thought...
It could very well just be a phase she's going through! I bet she'll settle back down in no time, especially when she sees that the whining doesn't get anything accomplished. I would tell my kids that if they didn't want to do it now, that was FINE with me! They could go to their room and stay there (no reading or playing) instead. Then they could finish their work later when Daddy was home (while the others were watching TV!). I even told Rachael that she could to it around 6:00 that night. All of a sudden she told me, "But I have soccer practice at 6:00!!!" "That's right, and you'll have to call Coach to explain to him why you'll be missing practice...." Boy! did she finish quickly, lol!
Becky, I will be praying for the attitudes of several of our children to change. I imagine most of us have some we would like to put on that prayer list. I hope you don't have to follow through with the public school solution. I know you won't do it without thinking and working on other ideas first. I know how it changed Emily to be in school those first three years. If I had only known then what I know now. Sigh. But we are slowly undoing that. I see the old Emily shining through more and more often these days. We all have to do what is right for each of our families and what works for one may not work for anyone else. I sure appreciate all the ideas you guys share here and want you to know I read them, take them to heart and use the ideas that seem to fit my girls. I will be praying for you while you work all this out. Beth
I posted about this at atoz and those ladies said they couldn't teach their own kids. I don't believe she would do this in school. Here, I'm 'MOM'. I'm easy to get over on. A teacher wouldn't play for very long before sending her to the office. I don't play it, either, but I'm not getting any results. I've even told her I'll take Brownies away. I also have been praying. Crying, praying, crying, praying. This isn't what I want her education to be like. And I can't believe God wants all this stress for me. I don't see any good coming from it.
Becky, you have to do what is best for you and your child. But, going to A to Z you would figure they would say that. Like coming here you know what we would say we are mom's. So, it has to be something you and your little work out and do together. what is best for you all. we will support you what ever way you all go.
Yes, Kris is right: At A to Z they'll say they couldn't/wouldn't teach their own kids. Here, we'd say you can do it, keep trying.... Some mom's put on their teacher hat, or wear something different, during homeschooling hours. When she's wearing that, she is the teacher, not mom. The child needs to learn to respect that, or you discipline her as a teacher would. If she's having trouble in that area, then do something to help her see the difference, and follow through with being the teacher. In ps the problem is not going to magically go away! From what I've seen with people I know, and heard from people here and elsewhere, it often gets worse. One example that happened recently: My good friend and I started homeschooling at the same time. A few years later they moved, and put their son and daughter back in school. The son was 10 then, and already had somewhat of an attitude. Once he got in school, his attitude got even worse, and he worked at impressing his peers, and became more disrespectful to his parents, because that was the cool thing to do (and this is at a Christian school)! My friend was so upset about it, but had taken a job and felt she couldn't go back to homeschooling. The dd is doing pretty well though, but she wasn't the one with the attitude! I don't mean to be over-stepping my boundaries here, Becky, but I'll talk straight with you, as you talk to others. I honestly don't think that having an attitude problem is for the school to deal with. It seems to me that if you just send her away to school when she causes problems, then she'll "win" the battle, and end up having less respect for you! I wouldn't want that to ever happen! She's in a tough stage, it can be worked through. There are some REALLY tough days when you homeschool! But if homeschooling is what you feel you want to or should do, then these things can be worked out! I NEVER thought I would be able to homeschool my oldest---he and I clash still to this day! He's ALWAYS been a tough one, from the day he was born 3 weeks early screamin' and fussin'! I'm tellin' ya, there've been thousands of prayers goin' up from me for patience and wisdom and for him and his attitudes and stuff, and many tears have fallen! But, he's doing great! We've learned to bypass some things that would cause us to have problems. I've been soooo glad he's been home with me! Life would've been so much easier with him in school!!!! But I've grown and learned so much through these years, and I have a good relationship with him now that I wouldn't have if he'd gone away to school! Now, all that said, (cuz I so want you to see both sides!), it IS, obviously, up to you! I can see where some children would do better being out and on their own a little more. Or maybe it would be a wake-up call, and she'd ask to come back home, then do better! I don't know. I will be praying for you on this! It's such a tough decision. I don't mean to sound rude or anything, because I totally respect you! :love:
I have to tell you guys that the ladies at atoz were just as compassionate as you guys are, and they tried to encourage me just like you guys are. I think they don't want me to give up, either. I expected to hear them lay it on thick about school like we do here about hsing, but they haven't. And about not teaching your own kid- I've heard people at church say that, too! Most times a person will leave their position when their child comes into that grade level. I never understood that. It's like they're afraid of their own kid. I feel like I'm being opressed- that's the best way to say it. It's compounded by the fact that we're all sick. Woo-hoo!! Fabulous February! GRRRRR... I'm grateful for the discussion, all.
Let me clear something else up, because I must be making it sound like I'm considering school just because she's being obstinate. No, it's not that. One of the things we clash over is writing. The child hates to write. She won't even put together 2 or 3 sentences to make a short story. But, she's got to learn to do it. It can't be skipped or put off until another time. When does it ever get done, kwim? My thinking is, a teacher would be able to get her to cooperate. I believe there would be some positive peer (not even)'pressure' that would get her to put out as well. I think she would get it that school is the one place she won't get over, I really do. I see how she interacts with the teachers she has now- she talks with them, she cooperates with them. Remember, she's got a class somewhere everyday but Friday, so she is exposed to the rules a teacher sets. Her art teacher is actually a former school teacher, so even though they meet in her kitchen, it feels very much like a classroom. I also see how she interacts with the other students in all her classes. They all stay engaged, so she does too. I don't believe she would join in any negative stuff in school, because she remembers how often her brother was in trouble for things he did at schoool. ( Flashbacks! Make them stop!)I've already told her that if she messes up at school she gets it when she gets home. I've looked many times at what I could do differently here. I don't see what I could change. I try to make her learning fun, I give plenty-but not too many- warnings, then I follow through. So, there's structure. Her curriculum is solid, so it's not that. I don't know... She knows she's on 'probation' until the 28th. I'm taking it one day at a time...
I have known plenty of people who don't want to teach their own kid. I always thought that was crazy too. Ya know, every year I think I should send my kids to school. lol. I love homeschooling and all but sometimes I question the decision...especially on tough days. However, teachers have tough days too. However, every year thus far, the Lord has made it possible to continue to homeschool. Can't speak for next year or the year after though.... I think you sound like you have a handle on things more than you don't. Take all the time you need to make any decision you feel is the best for your family. I know you will make the right decision. Have faith in yourself and God.
I posted at the same time you did Becky! lol. I totally see your point. In fact, I have felt the same you do plenty of times. Sometimes I even wonder why God allows me to homeschool. lol. Seriously, there have been plenty of times I think school would be good for my kids. My dd, doesn't like to write either. She can be difficult on the topic and I think a classroom may help. She also is great in math but has difficulty memorizing her facts. She doesn't see the importance of it. It is as if she needs some competition or something. My son out right says he wants to go to school. He wants the friends and the to play sports. My dd doesn't want to go to school. Not that they make the decisions anyway. lol. Anyway, I understand how you feel. I really do. There are plenty of days that I could have been the author of your post. I cannot give you advice. This is a decision you need to make for your child. Pray about it and see where you feel led. If your kid goes to school or not, you are still a great mom and will always be her "teacher".
Ava, a teacher friend of mine and I were talking over the weekend, and she brought up how there are sometimes rough days for her, too. She said sometimes it feels like a situation will just blow up in her face. At least here I can send mine to her room! I can't imagine having to deal with 20 or more kids that aren't your own.. Lol, or 20 or more that ARE yours!!
You know, Ava, I know plenty of hs families that enroll their kids for the sports or other activities. Our paper ran a story on one girl in particular, who won some kind of award. She said straight up that she enrolled in high school for the sports and activities she couldn't get through homeschooling.
I know that I would have no problem enrolling my son in school for sports if he showed talent. I don't know how silly that is...but I can see doing that. School can provide things I cannot...yet I can provide things the school cannot...so I guess a balance would be nice. My ds can still play on ps teams and be homeschooled. I knew a kid that did that and he felt a bit left out....not really knowing the kids and all. I don't know. I enjoyed school alot. My kids may just be going to school next year anyway. However, I called on out of district forms and they were due in January. I am clueless on this kind of thing since I have never dealt with ps before. The lady did tell me that they will still consider late forms though. There is only one ps in my area I would send my kids to...so maybe my decision for hsing will be made sooner than I thought.
Becky, what does your dd want? My kids don't make the decision here either, but certainly we listen to what they want when we decide, kwim? When we had stinking bad attitude every day I talked with the kids about ps - they didn't want that. So I made a learning contract, and explained the meaning of contract etc. We included stuff like they agree to do their best without arguing etc, and I agree to mark thier work promptly (not my stong suit) and give lots of encouragement, and make it as interesting as possible. So we all got someting out of it. It sounds silly, but it really helped, because they really wanted to stay home.
Oh my yes I have those days a lot ! I have mostly had melt down days this year! But I just blame it on my shoulder lol. Thats why I am working to get organised because i have days when I hate that I Homeschool, and wish there was a better way.. then something clicks and poof! I remember why I Started. But yes I tend to have at least one day a month one of those..."Why am I doing this again?" days, This morning I was on them because they were fussing that they had to do the school work I scheduled for them to do .... it was rediculous but I felt like what have I been doing all this for when the kids are ungrateful? I am sure some day they will be glad I home schooled them but so far my ds15 just keeps reminding me how he missed out on so much , or he didnt learn this thing, ( social stuff) because of home schooling... personally I teach them what I knwo they NEED to know, but social life stuff is not all nessacary, as in you dont need to have a girlfriend, you dont need to know how to put someone down, etc, like teens seem to do all the time... but he thinks I sheltered him too much. Will oru kids ever appreciate us? Probably not until they have thier own kids!
Becky, I learned this the other day: Instead of demanding them to write a whole bunch, insist on an appropriate amount/age (? 2-3 sentences) and have her draw/color a picture about it( 2 pages?)....... Came from Mel Levine's conference in OKC early this month.
Our library has a writing club once a week, after public school is out. I cannot sign my DD up because it is for 8 and up. I guess this is so they don't have to help as much? Don't know. Maybe they have something similar at your library?
