I already bought the black boots that he likes. Maybe it is time to break out my fredricks of hollywood red dress and the boots! Not my usual cup of tea but..... Now I just need to find or make the time. :twisted:
I have had this to. I work to "wake" him up when I get home and he just rolls over and keeps snoring. Very frustrating when that is all I have been thinking about all day. grrrr. Although I must admit he does catch up to me occasionally. lol
This is working out better than I thought. I was hesitant about posting this but you all have lifted my spirits and given me some fresh ideas. I do know that we will come out of this stronger. It is just having the patience to work through it.
I just suggested this and he says he hates it when I talk about doing this because it makes him feel as if he isn't doing enough and that he has to try harder to please me. AAAHHHHH. The man doesn't get that I just want to spend time with him. I did go on to explain this. I also mentioned getting up early one day a week and he laughed at me. "yeah right, we don't get up early" I told him it was just to have a cup of coffee together and talk. I just had a thought. I need to make cinnamon rolls that will get him up!! lol :roll:
He sounds like he needs a shot of hope. Perhaps instead of talking about spending time with him, just do it. Even if it means you getting up earlier or going to bed later or however it works best for you both. Actions speak louder than words and cinnamon rolls are a great place to start. Everytime you talk about it, he is reminded that he isn't good enough and right now this is obviously an enormous problem, even if it is unrealistic, for him. Actions will give him more hope than words. Perhaps you can just walk by him and playfully touch is rear or something else. Just anything to let him see you love him and need him rather than saying you need him because he isn't responding to that. From the sound of it, you will have to do this for a while before he believes it is true. Put little love notes in his car or shoes. Just let him know he is your world and that you want to be his girlfriend again. I like the idea of getting up earlier. If he doesn't, you still can. Set the coffee the night before so you can just click it on in the morning. Take him a cup while he is in bed whether he drinks it or not. You can iron a shirt of his if he doesn't get out of bed or do something nice for him. This way he isn't doing something for you, you are doing it for him. With time, hopefully he will reciprocate but as of now it sounds like he is truly down in the dumps.
You make a lot of sense patty. Thanks. I will start being a girl of action not words. The funny thing here is he says he wants me to talk to him but his actions are saying that he needs me to be DOING something. I really appreciate the prespective.
If he won't get up for cinnamon rolls, serve him breakfast in bed. Serve him in a trench coat with nada under it. Ha! :lol:
I'm not sure of you or your dh's ages. (seems you mentioned 40's?) But the Dr. my dh visited recently told him it was important to check testosterone levels as men get older. It appears that men also can have "hormone" type problems as they age. The Dr. told my dh that when the testosterone levels drop it can cause lethargy and depression and moodiness. I just wanted to throw this out there; maybe your dh would go for a check up? This could be part of the problem? Just a thought. If it is, there are supplements that can be taken to correct it. Again, just a thought, in any case hang in there. I'll be praying for you. LR
He is 39 ( 40 in Oct) and I am 32. I have been suggesting periodically that he needs to go in for a check up. Maybe I should just make an appointment for him. That is usually how we end up having to do things.:wink:
I believe they can check testosterone levels through a simple blood test. If your dh is about to turn 40, he is at the age these levels begin dropping. LR
